How can u forgive someone!?

Question

If They lie to me and started a lot rumors about me.

Answer 1

You don't have to forgive or forget.. just don't let it eat you.. some peeps do things that are unforgivable.. they do not deserve the mercies of forgiveness..

Answer 2

first step you have to have been forgiven yourself. Then it is a good idea to add Lord help me to forgive those who do wrong to me. I add that everyday cuz sometimes you have not forgiven someone and are unaware. Sometimes a certain incident is hard or person and situation combo can be more difficult. These generally have some of your own problem mixed in. Perhaps some kind of pride or it might be something have might or could do yourself and Have not worked your own issue out yet. Just b4 u go 2 sleep pray for help in your dreams and that u remember that help.

I have had many to forgive because I am one who speaks the truth whether one wants to hear it or not and needed to learn sometimes a person really can not handle the truth and if I just ask a few questions I can find that out.
Pride was getting in my way, until I achknowledged my part in the problem I could not totally forgive for hateful reactions, People really like to kill the messenger.

Answer 3

Yes I know it could be really hard, after you forgive someone, you feel like shooting yourself, LOL i have been in that situation. here are som tips:
Forgiving someone without religion can seem tough at first, but it's really not that complicated. It's even quite simple.

Steps
Accept the truth: you are angry at that person. This is hurting you, as well as others around if that makes you in a bad mood. It can even hurt the person you are resentful about.
There is no need to believe in a god (or God) to get rid of your tensions and bad feelings. Tell yourself or the person itself how much the situation hurt.
Occupy your mind by something else, and accept that what is done is done. Being resentful will just keep you angry and easily startled... or sad, at least.
Visualize what you want to happen when you might confront the person (this is the mental equivalent of writing a letter and not mailing it). Realize that confronting someone may not be the best course of action.
Think of actions you can take in the future to avoid the situation that resulted in your being hurt. This is not always possible, but sometimes a topic may come up and a discussion can cause hard feelings. Determine what you could have said that would have made your point, but not antagonized the other person.



Tips
Think twice: Decide whether the person really deserves to be forgiven or not.
Confide to another friend or family member. They may help you overcome the situation or change your mind.
As difficult as it may seem, speak to the one who offended you. If he is human, he will try to make amends.
Realize that confronting the person may not change anything. If someone hurts you intentionally, it is unlikely they will accept responsability or make amends, particularly abusers. Be aware that they may take this opportunity to try and put the fault of the situation on you. This is particularly common amoung unfaithful spouses (e.g. "Its your fault I cheated, if you didn't spend so much time at work...").
Realize that we are all adults and that we have choices about who we associate with. Family is tough, but if you have issue with someone, spend some time away from him or her. You may realize that the person is not worth spending time with. Find new friends and people in your life.



Warnings
No one can even force you to forgive, but do it for yourself... for your sanity. It may be a long process, but never give up.
No one can force you to forgive, but you will often be pressured to do so. This is to validate the offender and make them feel that their offense is not that great. You must forgive at your own pace. Rushing this process will cause lingering resentment.
Try to understand and realize the true motivations of the offender. Often people will give a false reason for their behavior, knowlingly or unknowlingly. If you embrace the Truth (not god(s)), you will find the world easier to live in.

Answer 4

The only way I have found that works for me is to pray for them at least once a day for 30 days, even if it is just for 30 seconds. I am not a religous person, I don't go to church or anything, but I do believe in God and sprituality. Sometimes, I am so mad, I can bearly do it at first. The idea is to pray for them to get the things in life that you would want for yourself, or the things that they need in life. At first, the prayer sometimes comes out that they "will get everything they deserve", meaning that people deserve to get a good life, but it feels good just to say it that way! i have found that by the end of the 30 days, it works and I really have forgiven them.

Answer 5

It all depends upon what you want to forgive them for I think ~ it is alot easier though to try and forgive instead of keep all that anger bottled up inside. Sit down and talk it out ~ it takes time I think to forgive and forget somethings ~

Answer 6

no man is perfect even u may do something wrong for which u may seek forgiveness but unless u forgive others others wont forgive u so keep forgiving others and kill hatred moreover u can do anything u set ur mind to so forgiveness is not a big deal

Answer 7

i dont know. but thats what this one girl did to me, so i aim her, and she lied to me saying she didnt (witch she did) and then said she had to go, 'her sister was in the hospital' but at the same time i sent 'yeayea just go and lie some more' accidentaly RIGHT after she sent hers. so i felt bad, didnt think that she was lying on that because you would have to be REALLY low to say something like that and said "sorry, i sent that right after u sent urs and im sorry ur sister is in the hospital, but DONT spread rumors about me'

so she hates me, got all her friends to hate me, and so now half the school hates me for something i really didnt say.

i dont know just had to say that :D

anyway, i still hate her... but if its a friend and they are sincerly sorry, then forgive them and give them another chance.

Answer 8

u never know what u will do in a certain situation. so, judging a person for doing something is sorta narrow minded. so, to forgive someone who has wronged u is hard to accept. u have to keep in mind that that person is human and in the same situation you may not have handled it as well either.

Answer 9

You just do it, and forget about it. How else do you expect people to forgive you when you screw up. It's not always the easiest thing to do and forgetting can take awhile, but you do it anyway. When you forgive and or forget you don't rub it in their faces either.

Answer 10

remember his good deeds and his brave situations,
and think with his advantages
if that one doesnt have any good deeds or advantages, he doesnt deserve to forgive him
but rumors are the worst thing you expect from someone really