My daughter is sixteen years old. She forever has a snotty attitude. When she talks to me it is snotty or there are swears. I continually ask her to stop I have small children in the house. If you ask her to do a chore. She does it but definately lets you know she dont want to. In other words if you say put this over there while you both are cleaning the living room. She might snatch it hard or she will walk away very hard. She also will say in a fresh tone, Dont you see i'm busy? If you keep interupting I will never get it done. I am handicapped and going room to room is difficult. I love my daughter so much, but it makes it hard when she is alway bitchy even if I dont ask her to do something. Once in a while she will get so mad she will smash something. Such as a lamp. What to do?
2006-11-05 03:32:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Welcome to the world of teenagers. I have a 15 year old and she gets that way with me as well at times. I have found that if I get mad and start to raise my voice she just gets worse, so I just kindly ask her to do what I say and if she gets an attitude I ignore it, or try to ignore it. There are times though Ive had to take cell phones away, tell her no friends over, no computer, and for me that usually does the trick. I also have a 7 year old niece that comes over alot, and there are times she pops off infront of her and I usually just tell her if she cannot be nice than go to your room untill she can be nice to everyone here. As for swearing and getting as mad as you say your daughter does, maybe she needs to talk to someone neutral and explain why she is angry,
sometimes a 3rd party not related can get down to whats going on in a teenagers head.
There is really nothing you can do about the snotty attitude, its part of being a teenager, and just as we have mood swings teenagers have them as well. If I had a dime for evertime I tried to figure out my daughter I would be a rich woman and her college would be paid for!! Good luck
2006-11-05 03:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find a moment when she seems to be in a relatively good mood. Sit down with her and ask her if there is anything bothering her. If she says "no" then tell her that through her behavior you are getting the impression that she is angry about something. Tell her you are asking because you love her and want her to be happy. It can't be any fun to live in a house where someone is angry or unhappy.
You have to stay calm, use a lot of "I" statements, eg, I feel, I think, etc... rather than "you, you, you" so she won't feel attacked.
She is a teenager! Raging hormones, still not an adult but certainly not a child. You can tell her, "you are not a child, and I'm addressing you as a mature individual who should be able to discuss things and hopefully find a solution." You cannot make her happy but you can certainly try to help her find some kind of happiness!
Of course, there should be house rules, guidelines for behavior and consequences for both good and bad behavior. If she follows the rules, reward, if she doesn't, punishment. She should be able to understand what is acceptable and what is not.
Good luck!
2006-11-05 11:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by seaelen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by taking things away. Show her and the other children that her attitude is not going to fly around there. Every time you take away something. She has to earn it back. Saying please or thank you. Helping her brother/sister. If she starts to break stuff. Call the cops. They may can have a Stern talk with her.
I also agree with what someone else said above. Take her out and show her what the world is about. Show her she better be happy she has what she does have. Do not back down from this. It may seem like it is getting harder before it gets easier. Just stand your ground and let her know. If she sneaks out. Nail her windows shut. lol If she does it again Take everything out of her room. Let her earn it back one thing at a time! Good luck!
2006-11-05 13:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to beat her upside her head, but she sounds like the type to try to call the cops on you! I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, though.
Take her for a drive and do some meaningul things with her. Go feed the homeless or give blood at a drive. Show her that the world does not revolve around her.
Show her what a REAL inconvenience is.
She thinks she's busy? Keep her even more busy by going to church functions, non-profit events, (such as blood drives and feeding the homeless), and maybe go out for a jog or lunch with her so you can talk about why she feels it's ok to disrespect you. Ask her what you ever did to her and tell her to give you reasons why her behavior is ok.
Don't give her a choice, either.
2006-11-05 11:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by Gotham Princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't take this offensively, but it seems that she has been able to get away with her attitude all through her life, and now it's more apparent as she gets older. It sounds as if she has had no real punishment for any of her actions, and now there is little to nothing a parent can do to a sixteen year old girl with this attitude. This is the kind of destructive attitude that should not be tolerated around your younger children, as they will imitate her actions and they can see that you allow her to walk all over you. I can only suggest family therapy, but even that can get you no where. She needs to learn to respect her mother and her siblings. Don't reward her for anything (no prom dress, no allowance, no staying out late) until her mood changes, don't allow her attitude to ruin the love of the entire family. If you do, she will grow up and out of your house and carry that bad mood with her.
2006-11-05 11:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would kick her out or the next time she destroys something call the police and have her put away she needs to know there are boundaries.If you use a little tough love it will show the other children that this is not the behavior you are willing to accept
2006-11-05 11:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by plumcouch30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry. They all go through this. In two years she will leave home and after 14 more years she will start calling you every day to see how you are doing.
2006-11-05 11:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by bigbob2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um..i dont think just 'asking' her to stop is going to do anything...i think she might need punishment, my sister is the same way..if i snatched something from my mom, i would get slapped, not saying that you should slap your daughter...but she's very disrespectful...and i think she need some counseling if she's smashing lamps
2006-11-05 13:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by DiamandaG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think counseling is the only trhing u can do. if ur daughter has the heart to not be carinbg for their mother who is handicapped, then she mite have sumthing going on in school...or maybe shes depressed. idk but i think a few counseling sessions, or even just the both of u sitting down and having a heart 2 heart will b good
2006-11-05 12:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by tracklurver09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know if i were you every time she starts bitching around i would slap her and make her do the chores, so that she can understand that being a ***** is not a good thing, and also take away some of her privileges like going out on dates and parties.
2006-11-05 12:03:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋