what exactlly do you say at a funeral?

Question

i'm reading at my friends funeral tomorrow but i'm not sure what to say since the only funeral i went to was my great grandfathers when i was six and im 21 now so that was a long time ago im going to talk about good memories but what should i also say in the case of a suicide? like i said i've never done this before and don't really know what to do or anything

it's the friends i was talking about in my last question
i'll post a link in a moment

link if you wanted to see the full situation: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am6MgEwB1YGayeUbiH5BP5fsy6IX?qid=20061104171408AA0t2dx

her family asked me to say something at the funeral so i ahve to... but i want to anyway

what nice things?

Answer 1

Well clearly state, that no one could possibly know the heartache involved from the death of someone. Especially when that someone is so tortured and confused they believe that the only solution is to take their own life. No one understands suicide, so I don't blame you for struggling for the right words.

If hes a friend your with a lot, speak of the times you had, try and inject your sorrow into your reading. And definitely dont feel abashed to have the writing in front of you. You are probably struggling with this too much to worry about the wording in a moment of that high stress and anxiety. Just read.

I wouldn't recommend going on about, why you don't understand it. Try to remember that your not the only one grieving and for you to support others by saying you are "with" them, instead of the only one shocked about this, is the best way to go about it.

My condolences to you. Sorry that you have to do this.

In addition to what I had to say before, don't sweat about talking the good or bad stuff. Talk from your heart. I don't think it's against any principles to discuss how you feel about your friends death. That's what your there for, and his family would be flattered to know that you care about and will miss him. The past isnt all there is.

Answer 2

Don't mention the suicide at all. Just recall a couple of happier memories, maybe something funny- everyone can use a little laugh right now. Keep it short and sweet, funerals are very difficult and no one wants it to drag on. Good luck and my sympathies go out to you.

Answer 3

IMHO, don't mention the fact that they passed away from suicide. It's such a raw, hurtful thing to the family ... and really, the funeral is for the living not for the deceased.

I would focus on all the wonderful memories you have of this person. "I've known xxx for xx years ... and I can't believe he's really gone. You know, I remember when we were ..."

Focus on the positive ... because this service is the first step in healing for all the family and friends touched by this sad event.

Answer 4

Remember the good times, the wonderful things you shared with the deceased. If it comes from the heart, it will not be wrong.
Ackowledge the sad circumstances, but don't dwell on them.
Celebrate the fact that you had the opportunity to know that person.

Answer 5

When your standing in front of people, You can only share your memories of the person, Things which you shared together, And that the time spent with Her was valuable to you, And that She will always be with you.

Answer 6

Talk about what the friendship meant to you and tell a story of something special that happened in that friendship, maybe something funny. Maybe talk about the time you had with him and how grateful you are to that time.

Answer 7

Do not touch upon his cause of death, just that he will be missed and as long as we think of him, he will live on

Answer 8

just say "Good bye, till the day we meet again at GOD's Judgement Day"

Answer 9

don't say any thing or say good things about the person who died