I got married at 15 to a 25 y/o mexican, Im now 21 we have been together 5 years and in the first year he applied for his green card there were some problems with the first attorney so we got another and now his green card is a few months away and we are having serious problems they started the 2 year but just got worse as time went by I have left once and he called me crying saying he would change but it has not happened so I want to know do i stay til he gets his green card or do I leave before We have 2 kids but he does not take up time with them and he has sent tons of money to his family and the bank accounts here are pretty much empty so I want get to much If i leave he told he the other night he did not think we would moke it so i started packing my things we had a fight also about money he was complaning about bills so the point is he says 1 thing 1 min and another the next after he fusses about bills of money he says I LOVE YOU, etc. so what am i suppose to believe?
2006-11-05 01:01:28 · 21 answers · asked by ncgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok say i pack up me and my kids and leave him before december and mess up his green card i will be responseble for messing up his life is that fair?
2006-11-07 03:13:03 · update #1
Listen to your heart. You know, deep down, what you want and need to do. I personally think it will never work again, once it gets to the point it is now. If he is willing to do what's necessary to make it work, then it has a lot better chance, but sending his money home when you are doing without...and the kids.. He'll have to change that! Good Luck!
2006-11-05 01:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2006-11-05 09:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe because u started a family so young u were unprepared for all the problems that comes with it.I dont want to tell u 2 get out of there because im just being wicked or tell u to stay and make ur life a misery.What i know is that u need some money in the ban and u need some1 that is willing to help u and ur family.Just because a person says i love u that doesnt mean they mean it.So the ultimate solution is left on ur shoulders i hope the choice u make is a good and right one
2006-11-05 09:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Go tell the lawyer that instead of working on his green card case, you would like him to file a petition for divorce. Also, what state do you live in? Fifteen is young and I am sure you would have had to get your parents permission or else you lied about your age. If you lied, then the marriage is fraudulent anyway and will be annulled is you so request. Getting a divorce from him would be easy because he is not a citizen anyway and you can file it based on fraud (he used you for a green card) and irreconcilable differences. The hard part would be the custody. If he gets rejected for a green card, he would have to go back. He might try to take the children with him. If does not get them, then you can forget about child support. Either way, you have put yourself in a bad situation, but staying in the relationship is not going to work.
2006-11-05 09:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sweetheart, your first mistake was marrying a 25y/o Mexican when your 15! what the hell kinda parents do you have? that's besides the point what the hell kinda f#%*king pervert did you marry? Let me just tell you this he never had anything but citizenship in mind and well having kids is all part of their f&*cked up way of getting to stay here. Leave that no good son of a bi^&h, he will be forced to pay you child support and allomony and never remarry. if ur in california though the law is you get paid for half the amount of time you were married under ten yrs, so if your married 8 yrs you get 4 yrs allomony, but if its 10+ yrs you get it for the remainder of your life! child support is obviously until the child is 18. you should of put ur foot down a long time ago with him sending all his money to mexico but hell yeah leave that piece of sh%t before he can get his greencard, file immediately!
2006-11-05 10:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by fearthis1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now! Think about it, he only needs you for American status. He wants to be a legal citizen in the US, you're his easy way in. I'm not prejudice at all, but a lot of guys from Mexico or other hispanics do this just to get citizenship. I'm just being honest. He has to say he loves you so you think it's real and he's not just using you, but if you're broke, and he's sending ALL his money back home to his REAL family, what makes you think he really gives a crap about making you happy. So what if he cries, this only makes it seem valid that he has feelings for you. He's been manipulating you from the beginning, so don't fall for it anymore. File for divorce, he'll pay you child support and his kids can see him too (which I doubt he'll even care once he has to go back cause he loses his green card). But you need to love you more than to let this jerk run your life anymore. Good luck, I'll keep you in my prayers.
2006-11-05 09:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont want to give you answer, which will jeopradize your life because you have 2 kids already, just give him breathing space, also ask him about what worries him about his family in mexico, tell him his kids do need money for their future and do you think he loves you, or is he saying it just like that, what is the importance of green card, he is bound to get it, dont make that a issue, green card does not belong to you. It belongs to the government who are giving it to him, it is better to let him have his green card. Maybe it will lessen his tension and make him relaxed and feel more happy towards his family.
All said and done, try to overlook superficial things and concentrate on real issues of life (Married life)
Also you can look at this research site :
2006-11-05 09:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by Syed M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey Honey,,,, Look, he used you to get a green card,,, and he will continue to send money back home before he will help you.
Leave the sorry ***.. and screw up the green card where he will have to go back .... is my suggestion.... and go get a good man that will love you for who you are!!!! We are out there believe me.... even me,, if you wanted to have somemore kids that is...
good luck
2006-11-05 09:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of yourself and the kids...........how certain are you that he doesnt have a wife back in Mexico? This is so commonplace for many illegals........they leave their wives in Mexico, come here illegally and then marry American women in order to get legal status and they dont care about her anymore. Get what you can get your hands on and leave. I would also notify immigration and let them know that you believe he married you only for legal status and chances are they will not grant him legal status. Trust me, i know what i am talking about. This has happened in my own family.........good luck, girl
2006-11-05 09:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know in your heart this is not going anywhere. If, and I hope you do, If you have family or friends you can to go to until you can get yourself sorted out - GO!!
Ignore the tears, pleadings and the like - he is playing with your mind and your emotions - just GO, and the sooner the better.
2006-11-05 09:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by Scabius Fretful 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋