how do i forgive my spouse for infidelity? i truly want to , but find it very difficult?

Answer 1

Nobody can answer this, not even you. Forgiving inifdelity is terribly hard. Wanting to forgive IS necessary, but wanting to forgive isn't forgiving. This is why cheating is sooooo terrible. Sometimes, it makes forgiveness impossible. It can and does kill relationships, even if both want to stay together. Good luck.

Answer 2

Yes I know it could be really hard, after you forgive someone, you feel like shooting yourself, LOL i have been in that situation. here are som tips:
Forgiving someone without religion can seem tough at first, but it's really not that complicated. It's even quite simple.

Steps
Accept the truth: you are angry at that person. This is hurting you, as well as others around if that makes you in a bad mood. It can even hurt the person you are resentful about.
There is no need to believe in a god (or God) to get rid of your tensions and bad feelings. Tell yourself or the person itself how much the situation hurt.
Occupy your mind by something else, and accept that what is done is done. Being resentful will just keep you angry and easily startled... or sad, at least.
Visualize what you want to happen when you might confront the person (this is the mental equivalent of writing a letter and not mailing it). Realize that confronting someone may not be the best course of action.
Think of actions you can take in the future to avoid the situation that resulted in your being hurt. This is not always possible, but sometimes a topic may come up and a discussion can cause hard feelings. Determine what you could have said that would have made your point, but not antagonized the other person.



Tips
Think twice: Decide whether the person really deserves to be forgiven or not.
Confide to another friend or family member. They may help you overcome the situation or change your mind.
As difficult as it may seem, speak to the one who offended you. If he is human, he will try to make amends.
Realize that confronting the person may not change anything. If someone hurts you intentionally, it is unlikely they will accept responsability or make amends, particularly abusers. Be aware that they may take this opportunity to try and put the fault of the situation on you. This is particularly common amoung unfaithful spouses (e.g. "Its your fault I cheated, if you didn't spend so much time at work...").
Realize that we are all adults and that we have choices about who we associate with. Family is tough, but if you have issue with someone, spend some time away from him or her. You may realize that the person is not worth spending time with. Find new friends and people in your life.



Warnings
No one can even force you to forgive, but do it for yourself... for your sanity. It may be a long process, but never give up.
No one can force you to forgive, but you will often be pressured to do so. This is to validate the offender and make them feel that their offense is not that great. You must forgive at your own pace. Rushing this process will cause lingering resentment.
Try to understand and realize the true motivations of the offender. Often people will give a false reason for their behavior, knowlingly or unknowlingly. If you embrace the Truth (not god(s)), you will find the world easier to live in.

Answer 3

Honestly, I hate to say it, but I do not think you can, at least I wouldn't be able to. You may be able to forgive, but you will never forget, which ultimately can ruin your relationship further. It will always be in the back of your mind, and may not allow you to trust him or her ever again. If you feel you can get past this, then by all means, try, but know that there are no guarantees on how you will feel about this person. And most importantly, remember, if you cannot trust your husband or your wife, you will not have a healthy relationship. If someone truly loves you and cares about you, they would never hurt you in such a way. We all have moments of weakness, but walking away is the answer, especially if you love someone.

Answer 4

forgiving is easy or at least it was for me. learning to trust and to build up the trust that they broke is very hard. It will always be in the back of your mind. Is he late coming home? What could he be doing is what you will ask. Building trust takes a life time. If he is sincere then the trust will come back a little at a time. Just don't question their every move or that will drive them away too. Commutation is the best way just don't question them about their every move. good luck to you and all the best.

Answer 5

You might forgive her for infidelity, but you will NEVER forget. Accept that fact, and if the two of you can work it out , then by all means, do it. It will not be easy to live with, but can be done, if you truly want to. She has to be sorry for her actions, and promise never to do it again for it to even halfway work. Is she? If she is, then there is hope. Otherwise, you might as well try to move on. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I wasn't able to forgive. It's always there - in the back of your mind. Maybe you should just cut your losses. If you forgive, he might say I got away with it once and do it again.

Answer 7

It is difficult to forgive. I told my ex that I would forgive him but if it ever happened again, he would be gone. That is why he is my ex!

Also, if you forgive someone, you never throw it up in their face again. You never talk about it again. No matter how mad you get and want to bring it up, you cannot if you have forgiven them for it.

Answer 8

You say I forgive you, than you don't talk about it anymore. However, saying you forgive him doesn't mean you forget that it happen. So if it ever happens again leave him.
You have to decide for your self if your life will better with him (cheating included), or better with out him.

Answer 9

You don't, you move on. Once they cheat they are 90% likely to do it again. How many times do you want to go through this cycle of forgiving and then doing it again.

Answer 10

good advice lalunest gave..
I agree totally. we are human and we do make mistakes, I think it will take alot of time to heal. he /she has to knows how much they have hurt you and until then you will start to forgive. go to counselling to find out why sometimes it's the chase that makes it exciting.. try and bring the spark back and communication is the number 1 key GL ;-)