May I ask a question please...?

Question

I want the divorce. He is going to fight me. I
d rather die than torture myself living with him.

If all else fail, have thoughts of ending your life ever come to you? If it does, how did you manage those thoughts so that you wont do it?

Serious answers pls. I need help.

he is abusive, both mentally and emotionally and worst of all, he cheated on me, not once but countless of times. Yet, he still want to remain in this marriage. I just cant bring myself to be living in hell anymore. Is that too much to ask???????

Answer 1

there is no SOB in this world worth taking your life for. You are just letting him pull you down in the gutter with him. He is a scumbag and doesnt deserve you. Get yourself into therapy and divorce him....i will be praying for you

Answer 2

Dear Distressed,

In this situation, I would say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Although your situation is tough, and if you've tried all the options to make this relationship work, then a divorce would be the best decision. You really have to think about yourself and your needs because life would be hard if you aren't happy. After all of that is taken care of, try involving yourself with community projects, donating your time to friends or even those you don't know will feel extremely rewarding and uplifting. You should spend time with your friends and family during this time of need as well. Try taking up a new hobby, playing sports or learning an instrument, or maybe even getting a pet. Dogs make great companions and are extremely loyal. Another great idea would be to take a vacation, fly to a place you've never been before and explore and learn more about what the world has to offer. There are many options and you're one step closer to happiness!

Sincerely,
The Love Doctor

Answer 3

First of all, here is a (((huggz ))). You must have gone through a lot and I can sense you are hurting now. Its normal, your world have been turned upside down.

But don't let yourself think of suicide. you must treasure yourself all the more and show him you are strong and can't be bullied. Let yourself calm down and if you have already decide to go ahead to divorce then look forward to the day you get your independence and freedom.

Why does he want to stay in the marriage? Are there kids involve? If so, may be you can consider getting him to conelling so that the divorce have a chance of taking place more amicably? You might also have better closure if you find out why he do what he do and learn from what happen so you don't bring the hurt and anger into the next relationship.

I was in a similar situation as you. He started by treatening me to withdraw. Now we are going through conselling. I don think I will reconcille at this point, but hopefully, he can accept it better and things won't be so bitter.

Answer 4

First of all try to stay calm. Make an appointment with a doctor to get some anti-anxiety meds for your anxiety and depression. Next , keep in mind that his behavior gives you grounds for divorce. Move and reestablish yourself elsewhere even if he refuses to sign the papers. Given a certain time-period the divorce will become legal on its own. However, contact an attorney for clarification with regard to this. He is fighting a losing battle if all that you allege can be proven. No judge would force you to remain in that marriage.

Answer 5

I'm not sure what the exact issues are here, but you can certainly limit
your contact with him (assuming you are living in the US). If he is violent,
get a restraining order against him while you are getting the divorce.

Yes, I've had thoughts of suicide. Thinking about it isn't good, but most
people have, from time to time, thought of suicide. You should seek
medical attention if the thoughts are pervasive, inescapable and you
are coming up with ways of doing it.

So: See a doctor if you really see suicide as a possibility.
See a lawyer to start divorce proceedings and get a TRO if required.

Make your life better. There is no point to hanging on to a relationship
that it harmful to you.

Answer 6

I have not lived with my husband for 14 years. We are still In divorce court and have a temporary agreement till the case is finished. Do not let him win by giving up. Only you can make yourself happy, so go for it. Several Family Law attorneys give free consultations go to as many as possible you will find the information valuable. Take control of your thoughts its your decisions to be happy or not. Happiness is not something we look for it is feeling we can choose to have or not. The best revenge to get is to move on with your life and be happy. If it were not for the real hard times in our lives how would we appreciate the the best of times.

Answer 7

I felt sorry for you. What I suggest you should launch a police report first. Get yourself a protection first before seeking for divorce. Secondly get a lawyer sue him for abuse and claim all the right such as children and your hospital bills. Lastly get a divorce from him. After what had happen to you I wish all the best for you and start a new life and find some one better than your husband. Good luck.

Answer 8

Please be strong and live well.
Let me tell you my story...When I was a kid, once my father get drunk, he would insult and abuse my mom with her mean words and harsh pummel and kick. My younger brother and I were too young to help my mom, what we could do at that time was crying and crying until one of the neighbours or relatives in the neighborhood to mediate. I was so afraid and didn't know what to do. 20 years has passed, I persuaded my mom to get the divorce, then she'd done it. It was the time we got out of my father's violence. My mom told us she always wanted to die when living with my father. But after contemplating, she didn't have the heart to see us little kids live without mom but only a alcoholic father. She was so strong and today she lives happily with us three kids.
I hope you could be active to get some more help from others or government. Do some counsel and release your emotions and pressure by having a little chat with your friends.
GOOD LUCK

XOXO

Answer 9

Just realize that at one time or another, we all get those thoughts that we want to end it all. It's normal to think that. Just don't obsess on it. Do what you need to do to take good care of yourself. This is not the end of the world. You will find a better life ahead of you, once this problem passes, and rest assusred that it will pass. Things will not always be as they are now, so cheer up and think positive.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need help there sweetheart. Do you have a close friend that you can move in with? a relative. It sounds like you need consoling real bad. Get those thoughts out of your head like death.
You can and will have a better life but, get out, if there's no one to help you get a hold of an agency near you for battered women, they'll put you up for a time, look, get out before it's too late. If he's violent call the police, file a warrant against him, get a restraining order, do something but get rid of him.

Answer 11

Boy, oh boy, can I relate.

I felt like I was dying on the inside staying married to him. I thought about cutting myself because of all the emotional/mental hurt he caused me and I needed to see some physical pain so I can 'release' it, if you understand what I am saying.

I have worked on improving myself, trying to find a full time job to support myself and I don't feel like hurting myself now (the cutting incident was in December) but I still want to go out and LIVE.

email me sometime if you need someone to talk with you.