my fiance has a 4yr old child to her ex, he is harrassing her, not paying child support, and has assulted me?

Question

What can we do to seek justice and support, child services only makes him pay $13 per week, but doesn't, harrassment phone calls and messages. I went over there to talk it out and was assulted, am in process of putting an assult charge on him, my partner and i just want to get on with our life, but i know he has to be invoved in his childs life, but he is going the wrong way about it, i don't want him too suffer but i do in a way, to prove to him to back off and get involved the right way or suffer the correct punishment for the crime. what else can my partner and i do to get it through to him?? we are both very stressed and it is damaging our relationship gradually

Answer 1

restaing order and she needs to think about getting a lawyer and a new court case to have him pay chidl support. but if he is only paying 13 bucks a month its not worth the trouble. and besides if he doesnt pay child support he can't see the child. (at least thats the law in oklahoma) so restaing order and move on with life.

Answer 2

Stop and think what is that $13 really going to buy????? YOU or HER can't make him be a dad to his child stop trying or it will destroy your relationship. He will suffer in ways you can only imagine as he gets older and realizes what he has missed out with his child. Make sure that you are positive male role model for the child and you will reap the benefits that his father should be getting. As for the harrassment and phone calls get an answering machine and do not answer it until you know who it is. This will also serve as a recorded message for anything bad him might say and you can take it to court with you and get a restraining order. Video taping never hurt either if he is having this behavior when exchanging the child with you make sure that you do it in a place that the child does not see you as this will harbor bad feelings against you. I know this is a long hard road but if you truly love your partner and the child then stay the course and remember everything that he will eventually come true. Trust me I have been on this road for 13 years and finally he has lost everything and I have some wonderful memories with my children that he will never be able to have. That is my own sweet revenge. Good luck

Answer 3

Sadly, there isn't a good answer. Don't expect much help or support from the authorities. Your best bet is to ignore the guy as much as possible. DON'T bother trying to be reasonable or accommodating. The ex will never appreciate it or behave reasonably in response. Document his foolishness for the cops, and keep reporting his actions to the police AND the court that issued the support order. (friend of the court) My wife's ex owes over $30,000 in back support, and the most the court has done is toss him in jail for 2 weeks. I don't recommend it, but IF I had to do it again, I'd have simply murdered her ex, and then her children would have received social security, and we'd have been spared all the silly drama he's put her and the kids through.

Answer 4

First - Since you are not the child's father or not yet married to the woman. You should stay out of it (because you are his problem, he probably thinks he can get his woman back), unless he comes to y'all house making problems (She also shouldn't go to his house.)
Second - If he is not paying child support, the mother should tell the Friend Of the Court. Also if he got a better job let them know that too, the support payment will go up.
Third - Once you and the woman get married. You can legally adopt the child. That would end his parental rights completely (he won't have to pay support and he wouldn't get to see the child), only thing is he would have to agree to it.
Four - Change the telephone number and tell her not to give the new number to him. She can call him on a cell phone when they need to talk about the child. (which should be all they have to discuss)
P.S: If you adopt the child and your marriage don't work out, you will have to pay the child support, and it probably won't be only $13 a week. You also need to find out if they have been together since they broke up, which would send the sign that he may have a chance of getting back with her. She need to let him know point blank that it is over between them.
P.P.S: I speak on this because I have a step daughter. Once her father knew it was over between him and the mother, he stopped making problems.

Answer 5

Unfortunately,this is an all too common situation.This fellow is obviously a real loser.You have two options my friend.First,you can go the way of the courts...both Family Court,and Criminal Court.Or, your second option is to marry your partner asap,and then adopt her child.This would get the scumbag out of your lives legally.If he still continues to harrass you,then you have no choice but to pull up stakes and move to another city or state/province.I know it's not always easy to do this,but sometimes,when you're dealing with a criminal such as this,you have no other alternative.

Answer 6

Naturally, if I was in his place i too would have probably thrown you out of the 500th floor of a building!! Man why are you after a woman who is married and has a child? Think of the husband. Tommorrow it could happen to you. Lay off looser.
Why should he pay you anything. I think you deserve not only the stress but hope you get assualted each minute of the day. Peopl like you who go after other peoples wifes are spoiling the social fabric of life. You deserve the worst

Answer 7

While your there filing for asult she should for failure to pay child support. Let him know quick that this will not continue one way or another. Distance helps these things if you are able to move. The child does not need to see his/her fathr if he is this way. He can find him when grown and make his own decision. Don't argue back or get upset when he start. Stay calm and just delete messages and hang up the phone. What he wants is you to stay upset. Think of him like a big kid starting arguements. Don't get mad just do things to protect yourselves and stay away. But of course try and file on him for the things he does.

Answer 8

speaking as someone who has been in this situation as the mother i can honestly say do not give up on your fiance. i am not sure on the law there but a restraining order for you and your partner might be a good idea. i also suggest going to court for supervised visitation between the ex and the child. this way neither you nor your fiance have to deal with him and if he breaks the order he goes to jail. if he has to resort to violence then he wouldn't be a good father figure anyway. your woman needs to be the one in control here because it is her child involved. maybe the ex will one day grow up nd realise that he's being a total d**k.

Answer 9

Talking to him isn't going to change a thing and it's not your job to get through to him. Press charges against him for assault and harrassment. That 13 bucks a week wouldn't feed a dog let alone a child. You both need to stand up to him and let him know you're not putting up with his crap.

Answer 10

First of all, stay away from him. Let the authorities deal with him. Getting involved with him yourself will lead to problems for YOU. If he is not paying his support, contact social services and let them know that. In some places it can be garnished from his wages (Pennsylvania does this automatically) or federal income tax rebate. Then seek the advice of a good lawyer.