i get extremely jealous over my husband's x.I start comparing myself with her + i hear many nice things bout her.I felt i could never be better than her.I know thats the past,they've broke up and he told me shes already a dead body to him.I tried to not think about it,its very foolish and hurting myself for no reason.I cried earlier after my husband told me some things bout her n he is sick of my attitude and told me to forget him.That it would be best for me.I love him more than my life.everytime i hear him talking bout her i wish it didnt happened between them n with me instead.I feel very sorry for making so much trouble for him.How should i start accepting she was a nice person n no point thinking so much nonsense.I would do anything to change myself.
2006-11-04 23:30:31 · 12 answers · asked by ver 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he wants to break this relationship cause of my trust issue . i cant do it . i want this relationship with him . i trust him just sometimes i say things which i dont mean but i really do trust him . please help me , i dont want him to leave this relationship .
2006-11-05 01:55:20 · update #1
Quit thinking about your husband and another woman. Especially if that woman is prior to your own relationship. His defense of her is unexcusable. He should just ignore you when you try to bring her up as the topic of conversation because you are just trying to get him to prove to you that you are better. The fact that he MARRIED you is the proof you needed. Constantly berating him and hammering him into a corner will only make whatever he had with the other person seem even better. It is like that amnesia you get after a period of time passes after a break up. You soon remember only the good things. Your actions spoke volumes about not trusting him. When you make a man who isn't doing anything wrong feel as though he is then sometimes he will do that which you fear most. He is being judged guilty for it anyway. You should just forget about her and not allow the thoughts of her to creep into your mind and your imagination to run wild. He should never give you details about past relationships. He should also not have any contact with that person no matter how "nice" she may be. It is only feeding your insecurity. Stop accusing him. Your attitude is exactly what he is running from. Search your history to find out why you are insecure. The problem is within yourself. Maybe you have a form of depression. Try seeing a doctor for this and maybe you need meds temporarily to help you see clearly.
2006-11-04 23:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how all of this could be extremly upsetting for you. I have two thoughts on this that may help. The first is that you should discuss this with your husband. You say he is sick of your attitude so perhaps a mediated session where you get to speak your fears and he is able to express just why he is with you and not his ex? The other point is that you mention that you hear good things about his ex. I would of thought that people usually avoid praising an ex to the new wife so perhaps you could be asking people about her? The danger is that if this develops into an obsession, it will create even more problems. Please accept that you cannot change the past. The first time I met my current in-laws, my mother-in-law to be showed me the wedding album from my boyfriends first marriage! After 26 years together now, i accept I was the better wife.
2006-11-05 02:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jeni-wren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might recommend that your buddy seeks help from a Counsellor somewhat than a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist first . Even going to the physician and discussing it with them will help in looking out the place the difficulty began from and then if he mandatory to work out any of the different 2 Professions, He ought to be referred for help . the difficulty had to initiate from someplace and it somewhat is taken care of then the will take care of it . i'm so sorry that he feels this way . desire it somewhat is of a few help to you ] Take care Knell 22
2016-10-21 07:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunn, the problem is that you haven't accepted yourself!! you keep saying that you want to change for him. why not change for yourself first because you will never do it for someone else. you cant love him more than your life. if he told you that she means nothing to him anymore, why keep torturing yourself? if anything, you are going to make him remember that she was a good person because of how crazy you are acting...get a grip, he is with you now. you cant wish that he didn't have a past because his past helped him to be the person that you now love. accept yourself make positive changes within yourself if need be and learn to accept his past and stop sabotaging your marriage !!!
2006-11-04 23:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by huneygrl1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Always remember that they are not together for a reason. He picked you. You can't compare yourself to someone else. There are good point about her as well as you. But her bad points out weighed the good points with your husband. Good luck
2006-11-04 23:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by kelsey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even if she is a nice person, she is his ex for a reason and I would remind him of that. If she was so darn nice, why is he no longer with her? I think it's natural for you to think about those things, especially if he brings them up. You need to tell him that you love him very muchm you want to be with him....but that he makes it very hard for you when he talks about her. You are his wife, he should be talking about YOU, not her.
2006-11-04 23:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do have a problem....self-esteem. Before you try and get him to stop talking about her you need to seek a counselor for yourself. You have to learn to love yourself...if you did, then you would know that you come first and that he's damn lucky to have you! You have to respect yourself enough to not want to change for anyone at anytime - a take me as I am attitude. Get some balls girl and stop trying to please everyone - please yourself and the rest will follow.....
2006-11-05 01:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by kellie69 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
honey, he married you and that says a lot. Everyone has a past and has ex's. Just remember he loves you and your the one wearing the ring not her
2006-11-04 23:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by traci s 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
remember she was the runner up you are the winner, tell yourself that 5 times every morning
2006-11-05 01:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by paulisfree2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just keep in mind that hes with you and not her so she cant be that great just forget about that stupid bitc*shes nothing.
2006-11-04 23:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋