my son got up in my face (he is 10), and he told me to f*** off you f*****g b**ch, i had a knee jerk reaction and slapped his face.
have i damaged him, or caused him irreparable damage. I feel like an awful mother
2006-11-04 23:26:02 · 17 answers · asked by winner 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
martinamagrace, do not presume to know about me or my life, you can sumise and you can guess and you can give an opinion, but you can not say there is absolutley no way he would have said it if he hadnt heard it in his home, do you seriously think i would be so shocked if that kind of language was the norm in my house, we do not speak in this manner..EVER...he does not go to school he is homeschooled, and i am very careful as to what he watches on tv, he does however have a couple of friends in the street, so im looking into that. Nothing led to this,he has a behaviour and conduct disorder, our morning was peaceful, he gets upset easily, and upon trying to console him this is what i got. So for all you know-it-alls...you dont know all like you assume you do!
2006-11-06 12:49:11 · update #1
I would have slapped him twice and grounded him for a month.
I can't believe a 10-year-old could say such things to his mother!
2006-11-04 23:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Slapping his face, only convinced your son you are What he Called You!... No child, at his age, would speak that way to his mother, if: he didn't hear that language in his own home. Be honest with yourself, and look around at the four walls in which you are raising this young man. You know the expression - "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"! Check out your son's friends and eliminate the ones that are "Street Bad", Check out what you son is doing on the computer, and what he watches on TV. Your child is very influenced by all these. Please remember, that your child's personality was formed years ago, by the age of 3-yrs. Look back to those years and start TODAY to correct those things you shouldn't have done. Bring you son closer to you, do more things together - even cooking - housework- busy hands don't have time to get into trouble. Check out what is going on at school - believe me - if he spoke that way to you at home - he uses those words and more outside the house. Ask your neighbours to tell you. You need ALL the help you can get, because the NEXT time, and there will be a next time - you may not get off so easy - this SON of your may HIT you back!Yes you have damaged him (but its repairable) and yes - you were wrong to hit him but now you MUST apologize and ask him to Forgive you. You made a mistake, so admit it and be a good mother from now on.
2006-11-05 07:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way a 10 year old child would talk to his mother that way if he has not been talked to in that manner. He heard it some where and if he said to you he certainly doesn't have any respect for you. He probably does not respect any authority figure.
I would talk to his teachers and people at school and explain to them what happened. Does he get good grades? Does he get in trouble at school? It sounds like you both need some professional help.
I would not have hit him. I don't think you caused major damage to him. I would like to know what prompted him to say that to you. What led up to it? Repair the damage now or he will be abusing you by the time he is fifteen.
2006-11-06 20:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize to him. Tell him that you won't do it again if he doesn't.
Kids swear these days. My son started swearing during adolescence and his sister (7 years younger) became proficient.
I try to remember to pick my fights. Do I really want this to drive
a wedge between us? Don't let it bother you too much. Just keep
on insisting that he respect your household and not swear in it.
Ask him if he really wants to hurt your feelings. It may mean never
again eating ice cream in the house. (Don't make it too severe.)
Or tell him the next time you think want to take him to the movies you may have to think twice about it. Let him know that there will be consequences. Does he get an allowance? -- Deduct a buck and tell him he won't get a raise for a good long time.
Don't take it too personally. It's his behavior that's troublesome and it just might be a phase. If it doesn't stop, seek professional help. Sometimes it takes hearing it from someone else to really sink in. Don't let it get over blown.
Did you cause him irreparable damage. Naw. You may have cured him of swearing!
2006-11-05 08:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by Linda S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It not a matter of damage due to slap only. Whats important here is that how come he grew up like that. What sort of training you and your society carried out of this chap. Slap will be forgotten in due course of time but the damage of the charatcter which you have caused him will nebver be recovered. I think not much is lost yet, please concentrate more on your kid's training and spend more time with him and do not let him roam with bad kids. Please try to make him a good human being. In my society you just cannot think of a child speaking to his mother or for that matter with any elder like that. Such society needs to be overhauled completely where teachers and parents do not know how to bring up their new generation. Please do not waste time and save your next generation from disaster.
2006-11-05 14:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
The question is not will he recover, but will you?
No, I don't advocate corporal punishment, but considering many fine
people have had a sore butt from time to time, its hard for me to say that
they will always suffer psychological aftereffects.
There are times when kids will do that kind of thing to just test you.
Not clear if you passed or failed, but at least now he knows you have
a respectable right hook.
You are not an awful mother. Don't make a habit of it. Recognize that
there is a violent part of you which needs to be kept at bay.
Also recognize that it could have been far ... far worse.
2006-11-05 07:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The reason why he used that language in the first place is beacause you haven't disciplined your child enough. A slap in the face has more of an emotional effect, than physical.
2006-11-05 07:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Marsnandes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will recover, besides you did something that is for your child's own good. I mean who has a child at that kind of age saying bad words at their parents. Of course, people would say that the child is very naught and must be punished accordingly. So what you've done is for his own good. As long it is a slap from your body parts and not by using frying pans, sticks, bottles or any hard objects. You will not be convicted as a child abuser as long as you use only your body parts. You won't have any problem. Uhm, for your child to talk to you again, say that you're sorry, and tell him what wrong he has done.
2006-11-05 07:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by Marc G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your son will recover from the slap, but if a 10 year spoke to his mother in that manner.....well I think he has worse problems that
the fact that he was slapped. I think there is a bigger problem than this specific episode
2006-11-05 07:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by shaggindeb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the "person" who answered before me has no idea, obviously never had to deal with a child with such behaviour difficulties, those who have never experienced this should never try to make you feel bad, your only human, who does she think she is presuming to know anything about your life or what goes on in your house, know-it-all doo gooders should shut the hell up
2006-11-07 20:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋