How do you handle loneliness when your friends are coupled up and having kids?

Question

I'm 34 now. It's looking less likely that I'll ever meet someone and have kids. How can I effectively handle those times, escpecially holidays, when I feel isolated because everyone else is with their spouse and families?

Answer 1

You will find someone so don't give up hope. In the holidays you can volunteer help to charities so that your not on your own and you will feel good because of the help your doing.

Answer 2

I really think you're too young to be writing yourself off just yet!!! People meet partners at all ages! The best thing you can do is get out there and do things where you will meet likeminded people! How about a cookery class or another activity you've always wanted to do? And meeting people on the internet is not such a taboo thing anymore! You just have to be really careful how you go about it! Christmas and other occasions can be very lonely tho. Instead of moping, could you go away for Christmas and do something amazing like working in Africa or even finding out about a local soup kitchen in your area. That will also put into perspective what lonliness really is.

Answer 3

Try winking at a few men and be feminine, never drop em on the first date. Not having Friends is no excuse for not finding a man there are more men out there and women so you should be in your element. You don't have to marry every single man you go out with go to a pub and sit there with a drink, join in the activities of the pub, talk to men at work and try to share a joke. Date two or three men at the same time.Don't ever consider going out with a married man, this will only succeed in escalating you problems
You know, you appear to be going through a period of depression
You need to rise up to this and think good thoughts when your mind is telling you other wise, 34 is much to young to be worrying about men as I said earlier as long as you present yourself and make sure you dress reasonably well and look after your health you should be fine.




ATB Redmonk

Answer 4

I've been there, and even though I'm now in a relationship, I know the kids thing changes friendships too. I can only suggest you widen your circle of friends a wee bit, not to replace your old friends but to make sure you have people around when you need them, like holidays etc. Look at older/younger people who are at different stages in their lives who can compliment yours. It's not easy to just 'go out and make new friends' - I was never into 'joining a club or going to the pub' to meet new people. Do something more drastic and proactive and change your job - it's a good way to get new people in your life, and sometimes when you feel you need to start a new chapter in your life, it's a good way of kickstarting that.

Answer 5

Yes, definitely a problem. Now that your friends are married, this one just won't go away.

Couple of options, some better than others. Find a dating website and indulge by looking for single opposite-sex people with little family. That will take up a lot of your time. Some "dating" websites also allow people to just look for friends. Obviously, you're looking for that rare individual who, like yourself, doesn't have a lot of single friends and no family.

Another option that I would consider myself: find a local organisation that deals with kids in need and help make a young person's life a little less miserable during the holidays. If you're lucky enough to find someone you like, that could turn out to be a longer-term plan!

Finally (and I'm not sure I like this one as much as the others): consider adopting a dog. Dogs are great companions and they are also great door-openers if you walk your dog in a public place.

Be prepared for the last two options to require work (i.e. effort on your part). All relationships require work, like all gardens require work.

There are so many lonely people. You could be the key to helping!

Good luck!

Answer 6

I'd say make the most of your freedom. I'm in a relationship and have a kid on the way and there are times when I really wish I could just go out and party and meet new people.

My mate just had short meaningless relationships until she met this guy when she was 38, then she got married at 39 and had a kid at 40. She said it was the best thing she could ever have done because she got to enjoy a fantastic social life until her late 30s. So go out, meet new people, join a club or something and make the mst of it because I bet your single life won't last!

Answer 7

Getting involved in a community of people can be a blessing. For instance, I belong to a church with a majority of people in their 20s and 30s. Even though I'm older, there are a lot of single people, and we also meet in small groups during the week, which are differentiated by age or marital status. Those of us who are celebrating at home usually invite others in the group to come over and spend holidays together. If you're not someone who would get involved in a faith community, try and think of something you're passionate about - sports, art, ancestry, politics, volunteerism - and see if there's a local club or organization you could get involved in. I spent too long being reclusive myself, and I know how depressing it can be. I think there are lots of possibilities out there for you to open up your social life, make new friends, and be very involved in something you love doing.

Answer 8

34 is still really young. It probably doesn't feel like it is, but you have bags of time.

Don't judge your own life on what other's are doing. Just get out there and make the most of your life. It only takes a minute to meet someone, after all.

And enjoy your freedom - you'll miss it when it's gone, believe me.

Answer 9

I know what you mean. Don't put your self down.There is someone out there who will be your soul- mate.Call your church or the nearest church. Ask them if they have any kind of club for single people. If not see if you can volunteer a few hours a week doing something.Or volunteer at the local library. The idea is to meet people.
See a psyc. MD. You may need anti depression med's for a short time. Do you believe in prayer? Try it. Look for a group that doer exercise in the park. You are going to be happy..

Answer 10

This is a maturing time of life for those that wish to or are forced to live by themselves. I've often wondered how they cope. I was in this situation for a time when going to school and didn't like it.
The holidays were the worst, I'd spend my time in the school library, eating out of the canteen. I guess you adjust and learn to live by yourself.