I have a single friend who is "experimenting" sexually with men. A co-worker where he works insinuates he is gay, continually points out that he is not married and has no steady girlfriend, and has threatened to out him, stating that somewhere along the line, my friend will himself provide the evidence.
In other places I have worked, this kind of threatening, intimidating behavior would not be tolderated. My friend's boss knows about this but does nothing. And my friend is not overly concerned.
Am I wrong to be worried about him? (We've known each other for many years.)
2006-11-04 21:59:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Harrasment of any kind is not good for anyone. No matter how well your friend accepts this form of abuse on the inside I'm sure he's hurting on the inside.
As for the person doing things like this to your friend, he is having a drastic effect on your friends social life with other co-workers. People aren't blind. When they see things like this in a work place and notice how submissive your friend is to these crude comments and acts they are gonna form opinions and that will effect your friend, possibly even his career, although no one will ever openly admit it should it ever comes down to that.
Tell your friend to weigh the consequences of this should he choose not to nip the problem inthe bud. You too might be "outed" if it persists. This office bully won't stop with just him and unless you are already known to be out around the office things could get ugly.
I suggest talking to your friend and talking to this office bully. As a worker in the office you have certain rights and this bully is clearly violating them. Problems don't solve nor do they just go away. I wish the best for you and your friend.
2006-11-05 00:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by pheirmeizer001 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That shouldn't be acceptable in the workplace but if your friend isn't worried about it and neither is the boss, maybe they know something you don't. The coworker may be known for having a crude sense of humor and wouldn't be believed anyway or perhaps there are other people who are out and it wouldn't be a problem. Maybe the boss is gay or maybe your friend is about to come out himself. You're not wrong to be concerned for your friend but being outed isn't quite the threat it used to be in most businesses.
2006-11-04 22:07:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kuji 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is intolerable in the workplace...but your friend doesn't seem to be overly concerned about it (are you sure??)...but if he is being physically threatened there are actions he can take. I'm not an American so I'm not sure of what your steps are..but should be easy enough to find out.
2006-11-05 00:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this idiot at work is forcing your friend to take a stand, just remember what schoolyard bullies were like in elementary school. if your friend is ready to identify himself with the gay community (he is already receiving the harrassment that the gay community has to put up with), then he should talk to someone at the local gay organization. they have lawyers who will know exactly what steps to take. it is outrageous that people get away with this type of intimidation, so encourage your friend to do something about it.
2006-11-04 22:12:51 · answer #4 · answered by domangelo 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i used to make the guys at work talk about it
most of the time they would be talking about shaging some girl on the weekend and how big there boobs were of woste then that
so i stoped them by talking about my boy friend
and how we did certain things
and what it was like in the i trying to be very macho
but i am talking about another guy
one of the guys i worked with got a hard on one day as i was talking about rimming a guy
no one else noticed but i did
i thought it was funny watching them react pertending it was gross but really liking it
i think if you are open about what you do
every one will stop the bigotry
everyone knows they can be sued
so they all shut up when it is thorn back in there face
2006-11-04 22:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Zara3 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Harassment on the basis of sexual orientation is a form of sexual harassment. The BOSS can be fired for doing nothing, but your friend HAS to complain first.
2006-11-05 00:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your friend isn't concerned, then I wouldn't be. However, I would watch my back, this guy sounds like a nut job.
2006-11-05 00:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do wierd crap like sucking the salami, you have to expect it. Beng a gay is not normal and is sickening to most people
2006-11-04 22:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by johnno K 4 · 0⤊ 7⤋