I have three sons, he has 1, ex wants him to go away with son every weekend?

Question

he only gets his son on the weekends when she tells him he can, they have been divorced since 1998 because she cheated on him, she apparently has a habit of getting a new guy every two years, my bf has been alone for the whole period of their divorce, he says till he met me, he never found anyone he wanted to date, we just started dating about 2 months ago, his ex wife has been nagging him for about a month and a half that it is not fair to their son, and that he needs to be alone with their son on the weekends, that he is psychologically damaging their son by forcing him to be part of this immediate family, my boyfriend and I think that we all need to learn to like each other especially since me and him click really good and are thinking long term. but she is making him feel so guilty that he is confused on what to do? is our way of thinking right? or is the ex right?

the son has said he likes me and the boys , he hugs me all the time, he gets along great with my boys, we are thinking about moving in together, so the exs way of thinking isn't going to work, I don't understand how he could be emotionally damaged by his dad having the only girlfriend in 8 years and since their divorce she has had three children and 4 serious relationships? he doesn't like this new guy that she just had a baby with, (their son) but yet she says that she doesn't want their son to come down on the weekends unless he promises to be with only their son.... I don't think this is fair

Answer 1

Jealousy. 1. He was alone all that time and she knew it. 2. You and he are a couple for 2 months and she starts when? 1 1/2 months back with this issue. 3. The son can relay information back to her as to your relationship and knowledge. 4. Women are as you know very competitive and now you are around her interest and perfume increases, what do you think? You have no choice but let it continue but watch your back. You did not say of she was remarried or still single, but it appears she maybe as some women want him single as a backup. The all of a sudden wanting the son with him is just a cover up and her to appear as Mrs. Good wife, but that is for your seeing and him to have more contact with her..

Answer 2

WOW lucky you NOT.

He sounds nice and she sounds like a monster.

I'd say she don't want him but she don't want him to move on you know we all need a back up plan (well some of us) I think he needs to tell her that he does spend time alone with his son and that you all get along well and that he only has the best interest of his son in mind when he plans any weekend with him. Tell her he loves his child very much and that he loves her for giving such a beautiful child and they will develop a loving lasting relationship and that she should have some fun when she has some me time when he has their child. If she is still being difficult than he should ask to go to family counselling and work out a proper visitation schedule file it with the court and move on with your life. Good luck best way to deal with difficult ppl is make them believe they r getting their own way :)

Answer 3

I think that neither of you should consider his ex's feelings at all. She dug the hole in this situation. On the other hand, I have 2 kids and when they were little, I did tell my x that he really should at least take a little quality time alone with his kids. Even if only to grab an ice cream cone for half hour. But I would have wanted this even even still married. All parents should spend a little one on one. Even now, I take time for one on one with my kids. Even if only an hour. She (his x) is wrong to insist on every weekend, all weekend. She is just trying to control his life. I also think it would not be a bad idea for your boyfriend to start spending a little one on one with your kids. Especially if there is marriage in the future. So it depends on his x's motives. Is she thinking about her son? or is she thinking about ruining or causing havoc in your boyfriends life?? It is not the quantity of time, it is the quality of time.

Answer 4

I think that involving him as a family unit is important however it would be good for dad an son to have some one on one time every now and then so son doesnt feel left out as they tend to think ok dad has a new family he doesnt need me anymore.Possibly he maybe into a sport that dad can take him too?

Answer 5

She doesn't want him and doesn't want anyone else with him either. Major issues on her part I would say. And i don t understand why gives her the right to make the rules. She has obviously moved on with her life several time. I would stop giving her so much power and control over my life, she hasn't done the best job with her own. Just a thought! Hope fully, the boyfriend and x can figure this out for himself, he has nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck to you and God bless

Answer 6

He dose need to spend some alone time with his son, just as you spend alone time with your children. But, there is no reason that a compromise cant be worked out so you all spend time together too. Try Sat. Dad day and Sun Family day or something.

Answer 7

If no one knows what to do, why not ask the boy? Why don't you ask the boy what he wants? He is an indivudal. I think you guys need to worry about is his feeling and not you, your boyfriend or his ex wife. If the little boy wants to be with his father alone. Then do it and then you can try to be in his life step by step. Don't make him has any negative feeling. Don't make him think that you are trying to replace his mother's position. You just want to be friend with him. That's it.

Answer 8

no this is not at all fair,she sounds to me like she wants to control her ex your boyfriend. i have a feeling she was like this when they were together. he needs to take her to court, get visitation rights with his son. then she will have no choice as to when he sees his son. nor will she be able to demand that he is to take him some place alone. but until then he needs to see his son. so, he will need to play by her rules or she wont let him see the child and that would not be fair. he needs to get her into court and fast.

Answer 9

He has a accountability to his infants, no longer THEIR mom!! you're precise in no longer needing this lady to stay on your place. Your husband could have respected your thoughts, and not even delivered this thought up. His infants additionally could have not asked. I hate it whilst the ex's think of they'd barge in and nonetheless be an component to the relatives applications. This lady would have paid her respects to her ex mom in regulation, been there for her infants, and nonetheless stored her distance from you and YOUR husband. enable the youngsters think of badly of you in the event that they desire to, they disrespected you and your thoughts via attempting to push this lady into your place. don't sense undesirable approximately what got here approximately. If all and sundry could sense undesirable it would be your husband and his infants. for my area, if I had an ex husband, there is not any way i'd bypass stay with him and his spouse, regardless of if there have been infants in touch. it is in basic terms weird and wonderful.

Answer 10

U guys are right she is confused and she is useing the kid as a weapon towards him.Accept the kid every weekend go camping or whatever thats your man now and you what him make him happy and accept his kid. He accept yours , before u know it , it will be you him and four kids she will go away leaving you her child. GOOD LUCK...