5 years ago I knew a guy. I met him 10 years ago, but we were sort of acouple sort of NOT a couple. I was too young then. I am 23 right now. Before 5 years ago, we had a somewhat sexual relationship. Not a very verbal close one, but more of an understanding. Well, I recently caught up with him again, and we started seeing each other and eventually slept together again. He kept saying things like "no matter who you marry you will always belong to me" but not in that weird creepy way. I also have two children, and he spent an entire day playing with them. He kept holding my 8 month old son, and later told me he wants children in the future. Now, the way we are, and with him being how vague he is, I am confused. Was that at me, or was he saying he wants children just in general in the future? He says that he "cares" for me all of the time, but won't say the L word. I am in the process of a divorce from a man I did not know well and ended up getting broken bones from. Ideas?
2006-11-04 21:06:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Have you stopped to think that maybe he is unsure how you feel about him?
He may be hesitant to say he loves you because he fears that you may reject him, he would rather remain your closest friend than risk losing you by doing something he fears.
Id suggest you sound him out, drop some hints like letting him know that he is like a dad to the children, and that with him around you feel like a complete family?
If he seems OK with that then maybe you need to broach the subject of love?
Being a man myself I can assure you that if we are onto a good thing then we are always paranoid we will stuff it up!
Sounds like you may be on to a good thing yourself, good luck!
2006-11-04 21:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mike C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he will not commit and say the "L" word while you are married and therefore technical unattainable, what makes you think he will commit too you when you are back on the market? Judging by both of your pasts together it sounds like you are just more comfortable together that in love with each other. You did not say that you loved him and by your own track record, you sound like love and passion are very important too you. Decide whether or not you love him, and then tell him to poop, or get off the pot.
2006-11-04 21:18:45 · answer #2 · answered by topher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is regular talk, then there is PILLOW TALK. And it is generally the case that guys don't like girls with kids, at least guys without kids of their own and vice versa too.
At a young age singles without kids and singles with kids generally keep to seperate groups. But as you enter your 30s I think its not as clear cut.
No way to know if this guy is typical though. Have fun and see where it goes, but don't invest your heart in the relationship until you know he's around for the long term.
2006-11-04 21:13:47 · answer #3 · answered by betterthanblacks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take guys for what they say -- there is seldom a hidden agenda like with women. it sounds like the guy has some regrets about breaking off with you. he doesn't sound like he is a very verbally expressive person and it sounds like you need that in a relationship. he wants kids just means he wants kids and hes a little envious you have them. i think he likes you a whole lot but i don't think you will ever get him to say he loves you and since i get the feeling you need that kind of confirmation i wouldn't pursue anything if i were you.
2006-11-04 21:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to get too involved right now. take it one step at a time, and that means be ready to let him go if it turns out that he is just using you. you have got to deal with the divorce first anyway, so just give this new relationship more time to develop.
2006-11-04 21:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by domangelo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men have minds ???
2006-11-04 21:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are a booty call...sorry...
2006-11-04 21:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋