5 years ago I knew a guy. I met him 10 years ago, but we were sort of acouple sort of NOT a couple. I was too young then. I am 23 right now. Before 5 years ago, we had a somewhat sexual relationship. Not a very verbal close one, but more of an understanding. Well, I recently caught up with him again, and we started seeing each other and eventually slept together again. He kept saying things like "no matter who you marry you will always belong to me" but not in that weird creepy way. I also have two children, and he spent an entire day playing with them. He kept holding my 8 month old son, and later told me he wants children in the future. Now, the way we are, and with him being how vague he is, I am confused. Was that at me, or was he saying he wants children just in general in the future? He says that he "cares" for me all of the time, but won't say the L word. I am in the process of a divorce from a man I did not know well and ended up getting broken bones from. Ideas?
2006-11-04 21:06:37 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Men are possessive little darlings, and sometimes they think once they have something it's always theirs. Sounds a bit like even though you decided to marry someone else he still considered you his. Now, he doesn't sound like a bad fellow and remember I wasn't there and I don't know either of you; men can accept a lot of degrees in their relationships. He may very well be quite content to 'share' you. That doesn't make him a horrible person, especially if you accept that kind of relationship. Tell him what you want, ask him what he wants. Don't flower it all up or water it down, nice straight forward language--Do you see us with a future together as a family, married and with kids? Or are we just going to be bestest friends? Let him know what it is you want. Then let him know that you are willing to take your time, but not forever, lol.
2006-11-04 23:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to talk to him. Ask him the questions you are asking us. And above all slow down. Dont rush into anything. You have found out what happens when you do that.
It is good to be friends first. Take a lot of time to get to know each other. Similar tastes in day to day things is important. The "L" word should not come too fast. When a guy tells you he loves you real soon after dating then you can bet he is full of it and you need to move on.
This one sounds like he has good possibilities. Take it slow. Find out what he thinks and how he feels. There is no hurry. If it is meant to be it will be.
2006-11-04 21:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by Mary N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have 2 children, do what you would tell them. your mind is what you need to question. how important are your kids. give them your love, not another guy that uses you. there is a better life but you have to set higher standards.
Love yourself first, that is the most important lesson for your children, they need you to show them. Men don't treat you, the way your describing. re-evaluate the guy, and your morality. teach your children well. they need you mom.
2006-11-04 21:49:15 · answer #3 · answered by sllyjo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideas yea GET A SHRINK AND GET HELP
2006-11-04 21:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by TrOpPo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋