should i stay or should i go?

Question

i've been married for 8 months, and i am VERY unhappy. i have somehow managed to fall in love with my best friend of nearly a decade, and i'm in a terrible mess. my best friend and i have a history (that we put to rest more than 5 years ago) and now all the sudden, my world flipped upside down and i'm back, deeper than i used to be with him, but i haven't cheated, nor will i ever. he is a HUGE part of my life, and has been MUCH longer than my husband, and will never not be in my life; plus, things were bad before i felt this way. hubby doesn't talk to me, we don't laugh, we fight constantly..i'm so lonely. i do love him, but i question if i'm IN love,or if i ever was? i also have a 3 year old who my husband has raised with me since she was 4 mo old, and she loves him SO much. how do i take a father figure away from her? (her bio father is VERY active with 50% custody) i want to leave (not for my best friend) but am afraid to make the wrong decision. HELP..advise please!

Answer 1

You possibly were never in love with him and should had waited on matrimony.

Make sure your children do NOT suffer with whatever you do and make sure that your best friend WILL accept your them.

I WISH YOU THE BEST !!!

Cisneros,Angela Margaret
"Lancers" alumna
Eternity~Class of 1989 or Class of Eternity
Ulysses Simpson Grant Senior High School
13000 Oxnard Street
Van Nuys California 91401-4114
Telephone:[phone]
Born on Tuesday,17 February 1970 in Hollywood,California,USA

Waller,Max Rafael
"Tigers" alumn
Les Prestigians~Class of 1983 or Class of Les Prestigians
San Fernando Senior High School
11333 O'melveny Avenue
San Fernando California 91340-4497
Telephone:[phone]
Born On Sunday,3 January 1965 in
Tijuana,North Baja California,Mexico

They met in the hallway of the Mathematics Building near room MS106 in ealry to mid September 1989 at Los Angeles Valley Junior College,home of the "Monarchs." They were enrolled in a one unit course Mathematics 100. An instructor would tutor the student irregardless of their level of knowledge. The class met in the basement of Monarch Hall or the Campus Centre and two doors away from the "Monarch" Recreation Room. Angela was in Basic Mathematics while Max was in Trigonometry. The late Dr. Donald Mazukelli,the professor,said to Angela,"I think Max Likes you a lot." Max asked her out,but she had a Caucasian-American or Cracker boyfriend named John. Angela and Max kept in touch until late 1990 or early 1991. Heather L Wilcox(She is now Mrs. Durazo) was a common friend. Heather is a "Braves" alumna from Birmingham Senior High School Class of 1987.

Angela and Max met again on Sunday,24 August 1997 at the Glendale Galleria in Glendale California. She worked in the second floor working for Builders Emporiom's booth as a Salesman. Max originally wanted to go to the Americana 5 Theatre in Panorama City California,but George Osvaldo Serrano insisted for the Galleria.

Their 1st date was on Wednesday,3 September 1997 from 11:06 AM until 8:00 PM. Angela was living at 6811 Belligham Avenue,North Hollywood 91605-560207 and Max was at 11261 Sproule Avenue,Pacoima California 91331-155118. They were married on Saturday,13 December 1997 at Osorio's Tax and Wedding Services in San Fernando California 91340. George was Max's Best Man and Rita was Angela's Best Woman. Angela's new home was 11261 Sproule Avenue,Pacoima California 91331-155118. Their Honeymoon was two days in a Motel in Sylmar California 91340 Near Cobalt Street and San Fernando Road. On Wednesday,17 December 1997,Max went with George to the Chumash Casino near Solvang California.

On Tuesday,16 May 2006,Angela moved out to Cameo Apts,20641 Vanowen Street #127,Winnetka California 91306-387109(She no longer lives at this address). "Yo mire los ojos de Angela y supe que ella no estaba enamorada con Max. Lo siento por que ella esta dejando un buen hombre. Es una mujer amargada,guardando rencor, y es confudida y voy a rezar por ella" Maria Antonia Moreira
She was speaking to our Aunt Mercedes and first cousin Max after Angela use "Starving Students to moved out on Tuesday,16 May 2000 around 11:00 AM

Max realized that he was an idiot to let Angela leave so George gave him a ride to look for Angela on Friday,30 June 2000. Max found her and started to talk and all three went to the 7-11 store near Vanowen Street and DeSoto Street. Angela and Max were intimate and spoke of what had happened when she moved out. Max last physically saw Angela at 10:30 PM,because a few hours later Angela had spoken to Rita,a woman in her late 50s that was twice divorced and alcoholic,and told Max that she did not want to reconciliate. Around July 2000,Angela told Max that she became a homosexual woman or a Lesbian. She lied because Max's brother Anthony is a homosexual and he always had extremely beautiful lesbians and Angela was always disguted by their way of life. Max prayed nightly for a reconciliation that will never happen.

On Tuesday,12 September 2000 the divorce became legal and official from the Court in San Fernando California 91340.

The TRUE reasons for the divorce
Max had fourteen credit cards and debt of US$22,000,a short temper,could be bossy,and spent more than half the time with George O Serrano. Max was an absent husband.

Angela was always unemployed,a short temper,sloppy,not punctual when it came to work,always chose telemarketing and not good at it,and NEVER did communicate her/their problems.

Both however were insecure,lonely,and miserable. They were married for the wrong reasons and never wanted to admit it.
"Max was bossy,cheap,and nit picky with Angela. He always saw her flaws and not supportive enough. I don't blame her for never wanting to come back." Juan Carlos Avalos-Rangel,Max's first cousin

Around February or March 2001 Max co-bought a home with George at 13057 Pinney Street,Pacoima California 91331-24417. The purchased was to late because Angela said "I am over you and I don't need you anymore." A few months later Max was suicidal,some members of our family have committed suicide.

In 2003,Max had five panic attacks and one almost lead to a Mental Breakdown. He almost cried in front of Virginia "Vicky" Hernandez and her brother Jose Luis Hernandez,Jr. They last spoke on Angela's birthday on Monday,17 February 2003. Max called to say "Happy Birthday" and quickly hung-up the telephone. She almost immediately changed the telephone.

In 2005 Max really screwed up. While trying to make Angela appear better than she was,Max posted her job address at military.com and was potentially in legal trouble. He has been banished or person non grata from military.com for eternity.

Maria De La Luz De Los Angeles Rangel
"Hunters" alumna Class of 1989
Canoga Park Senior High School
6850 Topanga Canyon Boulevard
Canoga Park California 91303-2354
Telephone:[phone]
She was married to Juan Dionisio Nolasco from May 1995 until October 2000. In January 2001,Maria married Luis Rogelio Miguel Ochoa. Maria has had three girls one passed away. Elizabeth Marie,born on Monday,10 February 2003 so as to AVOID being born on Monday,17 February 2003 which was Angela's 33rd birthday. Angela and Maria were never friends. Around Wednesday,26 January 2005,Maria saw Angela at the photo centre in K-Mart Store #4421 13307 Sherman Way,North Hollywood California 91605-495601. Angela saw Maria and just walked away. Maria's dad was Benedicto Manuel Rangel and Max's mom is Maria Mercedes Rangel-Waller,so they are first cousins. Our mother is Esperanza Rangel-Escobar and a sister of Manuel and Mercedes.

So to summarize,Max needs to go on with his life because Angela vowed NEVER to reconciliate. The last time Max saw Angela was on Friday,30 June 2000 around 10:30 PM PDST

Answer 2

Well I would advise you to speak to a counselor or a licensed therapist to talk out any problems that you and your current problems you might be having. It may be one of two things, either your not happy being married to him, or the communication break might be causing you some other problems. You and your husband might need to seek couples counseling to get over and beyond these problems, or you may find out that he is just as unhappy as you. Just remember to get Professional help with the first step! If things get better for you and your husband congrats! If not it's going to be difficult for your daughter no matter how much damage control you try. If divorce comes up and that is what you and your husbands decide is best for everyone involved, it would be best that your daughter have a little more time with her real father to help her understand the situation. Also let you daughters father know what is going on. If divorce is the choice take time afterwards to focus on your daughter and yourself. Don't jump into a relationship, and definitely don't sleep with the best friend. The most important thing here is your daughter, then you. After some time after things settle if your husband would still like to see your daughter then I would say it would be you and her fathers’ choice to do so. When you finally have your life and everything else settles down slowly ease into relationships. Just remember Marriage is a lot easier (cheaper, not a big hassle) than divorce. So stay away from engagement and Marriage for a few years at least! Good luck.

Answer 3

What a mess. Why are you so unhappy? You are married to a man who has taken your 3 yr old child under his wing to raise as his own. It sounds like your daughter has taken this man into her heart as her father. Do you really want to destroy that?

Why doesn't your husband talk with you? How do you talk to him? Are you trying to change him? Have the two of you gotten any help with your marriage? What do you want? What are you looking for?

It amazes me how cavalier people are with marriage. It isn't about you. It is like joining the Army, you are now a unit and your needs must be negotiated and not simply acted upon just because you feel like it. It isn't just about you anymore. Especially with kids.

That is not to say that your needs aren't important. They are, and if core needs aren't met then divorce is the best option after everything else is tried first.

The first year or two of marriage can be very difficult. I've been married for 6 years and it is just starting to get good. It has taken a lot of work.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Take it from me, if you're unhappy in your marriage, then it's time to go. No amount of counselling is gonna keep ya'll together. It may help short term, but not "til death do we part". Your love for your husband may be a maternal kind of love more than anything right now. The kid will bounce back. She's real young.
During this time of change, don't give in to the feelings of your returning friend either. Do it alone or with support from your folks. The friend will understand, if he is a real friend.

Answer 5

Me thinks maybe you should have a few sessions with Dr. Phil. You need to be really sure before leaving hubby. Your childs life will be disrupted, even though she has a bio dad. Generally, when one feels as unhappy as you do, it really is the beginning of the end. Just make sure you have done everything in your power to make it work. If it doesn't, then at least you can walk away knowing you have done your best. I wish you luck and a very happy future

Answer 6

Well I think you should go after what is mst comfortable for you and for your daughter. From your question I couldn't understand whom do you love - your friend or your husband? I see you don't want to hurt anybody but it's just never that way. If you really love your friend and he can be a good provider for you and your baby I would advice you to get divorce - You Can't just supressed your feelings!!! Ask your friend If he really wants to marry you and he's serious about you enough to leave your husband for him...and in the end I would go to good Psychic for advice..they feel a lot in relationships and they can tell you who really loves you. Good luck!

Answer 7

Think to the future....How will your daughter feel in 10 years if her parents never talk or only fight all the time....If you know in your heart of hearts it's over and you can not make it work then you need to say so now and that takes guts....but if you deal with it now you are saving lots people pain and sadness cause you will be being fair to your husband who if you don't love deserves the to go find love and be loved , everyone deserves that. And your daughter may not know now but later she will learn the imoprtance of following your heart, not just settling and about being brave and facing the conciquences of your actions ....If your not happy niether is your daughter!

Answer 8

Why is it that guys and girls have in their mid to late 20's all seem to have this problem? What is this world coming to. Don't you know that love is a CHOICE!! We notice them, make the decision that we are attracted, and then with a lusty growl we decide and choose to say that we love them. GROW UP AND SMELL THE STARBUCKS! Sounds like you need to lay off of the relationship scene for a few years until you are old enough to handle it or get a mentor.

Answer 9

Sounds like you messed up your marriage pretty good. I don't know what your husband's problems are but he could be responding to your very, very bad karma.

I'd say get a divorce and then go find a really good shrink and get your act together before you make another mistake.

I'm not trying to be mean - but this sounds like a disaster.

:)

Answer 10

Been there, luv. Not a good place to be.

I did not have any children to consider, so my situation was different than yours. However, I decided a man that had been my friend and companion would likely be so for the rest of my life. Best decision I ever made. We have been married for many years now, and we are still happy.

But that is my story...not yours.

Answer 11

i think u should do what u think is right and what is good for ur child . also get that question out of ur head and think about if you are IN LOVE r NoT IN LOVE wit ur hubby iight . but dont make a choice that will hurt you and ur 3 year old baby gurl. if you want you could tell ya best friend that u now for longer then ur hubby to help u choose what u caould do or not .
IT'S ALL UP TO U.
GOOD LUCK