at the end of my marriage, i let my childrens father take them because at the time i was sick and was not sure if i was going to be out of work and also i had to stay with my parents, he had a good job and a home,thru everything i was suffering from depression,and he would take that and use it against me so i was afraid that i had no choice in the matter but he promised he would never take the kids away from me and i could have them anytime. in our divorce he has sole custody but i did not have to pay child support(for 2 yrs)and i did not have restrictions,like visitations.now i pay child support for the last 3yrs.i work 2 jobs ,i do not get to see my children as much and he will not let me have them like i did in the beginning.my children are suffering because they need me too. and he does not see it that way,he says that they have to have structure but children in divorces do not have structure they need to be balanced,that means they need both parents equally in there life.
2006-11-04 18:01:02 · 7 answers · asked by kindheart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't agree with the first poster, my ex and I shared joint custody of our daughter, until my EX decided that he didn't want to exercise his rights. I had a chance at a good job in my home state of California and since our daughter was 16 at the time we let her choose where she wanted to be, SHE chose to go with me. I would not have fought it if she chose to stay with her father as I felt she was old enough to make that decision herself. Her father did not try to fight to keep her in New York in fact he travled to California WITH her and placed her into my custody.
What you need to do is to return to court and ask for a 50/50 split on the custody. It's not that terrible of a situation my step sisters managed to grow up living with my parents half the year and their mother and other step siblings the other part of the year. It does require the parents to agree on rules as well as both sides being ADULT about it rather than constantly back stabbing and going through the "he said she said" crap. You both will be able to claim the children on your income tax for part of the year and you can either decide that the non custodial parent at the time pay or not pay support, that is between you. But again if you want to change the custody ruling you will have to go to court to do so. That part is all up to you.
2006-11-04 18:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will never understand why most divorces do not put the kids first. I had the ideal divorce. My x and I totally put our problems away from the kids. My divorce decree states that we have joint custody, with physical custody with me (the mother). We never cared about visitation. It wasn't even an issue with the divorce. Sure it said he can take them every other weekend, but if he wanted more, that never mattered to me. If he wanted to take the kids, he just came and picked them up, did what ever, and brought them back home. My kids never really went through any difficulties because my x worked out of town alot anyway. They were only 3 & 4. Kids adapt to change easier than adults. It is the parents who put that stress onto their kids in a divorce. Both parents should always play an active role in the kids life.
2006-11-04 23:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can show you are better and have or are having treatment for depression, then seek legal advice and try to get equal time with the kids.
The children do suffer when the parents use them as pawns. They do need both parents. The best way to come to an agreement without having to pay costly legal fees is to have mediation. This would only work if both parties are prepared to put the kids interests first. If not, then legal is the only way to go Good luck
2006-11-04 18:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by jewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can file what is called a "Petition for Modification of Custody" with the local Family Court, from there you will have a hearing if the two of you cannot reach an agreement the judge/hearing officer will make a determination, you may have a re-hearing after 6 months, and at anytime you can request a Custody Modification.
2006-11-04 18:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by SouthernPatriot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the different verify has any rights in any respect then that verify will probably replace into the criminal dad or mum as that verify is the subsequent and closest of relatives. you could't will your new child far flung from yet another verify who has their rights nonetheless in tact. No court would uphold that till they'd tutor that the verify is a hazard to the youngster. you will wish the genetic father to declare that they do no longer desire the youngsters (self/court termination of parental rights) in a written and criminal rfile signed and notarized via the two certainly one of you plus a criminal professional would be maximum suitable. in case you nonetheless took new child help money from an absent, abusive or in any different case financially or emotionally in charge father then you definately can't eliminate his precise to have the youngster after your dying.
2016-10-03 07:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world us men suffer through every day. Had you not been sick at the time I am sure no judge would have given them to him, he would be in your shoes right now. No judge would give him joint custody but I am sure since you are a woman he will help you. Just ask a judge.
2006-11-04 18:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go back to court and get a judge to order more visitation, it shouled also lower your support payments , the more time you have them the less you'll be required to pay..GO GET YOUR KIDS BACK!! THEY NEED A MOTHER FULL TIME!!
2006-11-04 19:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by PAUL B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋