I want to share so much with my guy. I want to show him how I feel and tell him and talk to him, and share the joy of how we're together. But I simply can't get him to open up. It SEEMS like he wants to, but he just can't do it. He's not cheating, he works hard and he's a good man. But its kililng me that we don't seem to connect on that sharing thing. Should I overlook it because he's good in many other ways. Do some guys just DO NOT open up?
2006-11-04 17:51:33 · 19 answers · asked by Ade 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Some guys just aren't very good at talking and being open with their emotions. Try writing notes back and forth and he might feel abit more comfortable communicating that way. He still wants to feel like a man, and some men feel that if they cry, or show emotion that they are weak. When in contrast they are stronger for their display of emotion to their loved one.
2006-11-04 17:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men and woman are simply different. You seem to have a need to share with him verbally. Men tend to need to share by doing things, not by talking about things.
Men have deep feelings, but we just don't like talking about them.
If you want to connect with him, do something he wants to share with you. Go fishing with him, or watch sports with him, or what-ever he's into. Do it, and then don't put any pressure at all on him to reciprocate. Do it as a gift. He will remember that.
Where men typically REALLY open up is during sex. That is when we are most vulnerable and most likely to "open up", when it feels safe.
Best advice, coming from a man, is don't expect him to be like you. If he is a good man like you say, enjoy how he is different than you and don't expect him to open up. What men HATE more than anything is a woman that wants to change us. It makes us want to RUN for the hills. But a woman that accepts us just the way we are we want to get closer too.
Best of luck!
2006-11-04 18:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by taotemu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are trying to jump the gun. The poor guy probably isn't very good at this. If you are really interested then you need to start giving him small, simple opportunities to share with you. Don't start with the "tell me what is in your heart" junk. He's not ready for it. Start asking him about work, about the football game, about things that he likes to talk about. When he does talk given him positive encouragement. This is basic behavioral conditioning and it works brilliantly.
Give it a try - take it slow and easy.
A
2006-11-04 18:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by Alan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the closed up guys, have the most to express. They just don't know how to let it out. I know because I am one of them. I always have so many opinions and emotions but I am a guy and tend to hold a lot of emotions back becuase I feel many of them are irrational. I try to think about a lot of things before I say them. I think women tend to say things without thinking about them first there in lies the difference. I also found my woman always brought up serious things to talk about late at night when I was most tired and unable to open up. Maybe try getting him to open up at a time where he doesn't have a lot of distractions, ie sleep, sports, tv, friends...etc.
2006-11-04 18:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by fedup 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its true that some guys dont open up and talk and that is just cause of how they were raised but letting him know how u feel is not a bad thing guys may not say much but still mean alot
2006-11-04 17:54:09 · answer #5 · answered by Jeremy P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys, well all guys should open up. I do, and I will never regret it. I met my first Love that way. But if a guy isn't open to a girl who wants them to be open, then they just aren't cut out for eachother.
2006-11-04 17:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jeru_Salem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times we show how we feel through actions, not words. He might decide to cook you a dinner or fix something in the house and expect you to appreciate it as a gesture (a communication, actually) of his love for you. If he has done any sort of project recently around your place, maybe notice it and thank him for it. It's not always what you want (and just *what* do you ladies want? ;-) but it's his way of showing it.
2006-11-04 18:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by tex37curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are so not like woman...they keep things inside. If you share your feelings and he has no response, then he's not ready to share his feelings. Don't date a guy that has no opinion. Either the feelings are there or they are not.
2006-11-04 18:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by LizBeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men don't open up because they see it as weakness. They want to be seen as the emotional stable rock in a relationship.
2006-11-05 05:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he takes a long time to feel comfortable enough to talk about things like that. Some men were raised to keep their feelings bottled up inside.
2006-11-04 17:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋