My friend, Paul is still in love with his first love, Ann. Ann is married and has two teenage daughters. She told Paul that she loves him too but will only leave her husband after the girls are in Uni.
What do you think? Will she eventualy leave her husband or she only tells this to Paul to cheer him up for a while ... until he gets fed up and finds someone else?
Also, she said to him 'It's better for us not to meet because this will be too much and will get us started' ... as in 'we should not meet and have sex because once we've done it, we'll want to do it again and again .... and it will be impossible to stop/control'
He also said that she would agree to him having one night stands .... to satisfy, in the mean time, his biological needs.
2006-11-04 17:04:05 · 28 answers · asked by Me me me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can I, please mention that he is madly in love with her since they were in their teeans ... now they are in their 40-es.
She is the one who gets in touch with him ... because she's married and he is single.
2006-11-04 18:43:36 · update #1
sounds like she wants her cake & eat it too
2006-11-04 17:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by foxfire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend Paul to move on. If he really thinks that Ann is going to leave her husband for him, he is living in a fancies life. And if she leaves her husband for Paul, she will leave you, Paul for another guy. Ann is leading you on Paul, get as far away from this first love, and move onto a woman who will love you for yourself. And Paul grow up, why would you want Ann to leave a life she chose a long time ago. She didn't love you back when whenever and she don't love you now. Or you and your first love would be together now. To me it sounds like she is really board, and needs to get a puppy to tease. She shouldn't be making any agreements with you, she is married, and has two children she should be committed to. And I think she clearly told you what kind of person she is when she said, "it will be impossible to stop/control?. She has no self control. I hope you do, and you will hopefully find a woman that will not play games, and wants to be with you today, not five years from now. Good Luck.
2006-11-05 01:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Living Life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this girl whom ur friend loves is just trying to either have a nice time once in a while since she agreed to one night stands and is also flirting with him as well... she is definitely not going to leave her husband as she seems pretty conten with what she has right now. The best thing for you to do as a friend is tell him to forget about her and move on with his life there is no point in him wasting his life on someone who doesnt know how much he is worth. A lady married with 2 kids wouldnt speak in such a way unless she is sexually dissatisfied with her husband and i think that is the case with her so she is trying not to let ur friend go by giving him false hopes, so she could may be get satisfied with him once in a while. Ask ur friend to find someone who will love him the way he wud love her and he should also stay away as she is married and has such big kids. Start taking him out introducing him to genuine people who would love him for what he is.
2006-11-05 02:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by cecilia b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to move on. Any woman giving her man permission to have sex with another woman thinks nothing of him, if she wanted to leave her husband she would leave now as the kids arent little really. If the children were young then yes fair enough but i doubt if she will leave her husband. There are plenty of lovely single women out there he should stay clear of other mans wife and find a new and honest relationship.
2006-11-05 04:18:51 · answer #4 · answered by kevera01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy needs to get a life...with someone different. The 5 year put off sounds like it's a great excuse for her, why didn't she use the excuse she found God or something that would chase him off for good? My question is "is she a citizen?" That sounds about the same amount of time some have had to wait to get their papers after marrying a citizen they didn't love? In any event he needs to get packing and get out of her life before she dries him up and uses every bit of emotional faith he could spend on someone who really loves him.
2006-11-05 01:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by N_UrDreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wake up buddy, he's being strun along. For her to say thathe can have one night stands to satisfy his needs is horrible. So is she going to stop having sex with her husband, highly unlikely for 5 years. Tell him to get on with his life. Forget about her. She's not available. if in 5 years things do change in her marital status and he's still available then go ahead and get busy!! The other suggestion is to tell him to tell her that her the children will be feeling the effects of the stressed marriage so really staying in a bad relationsghip isn't good for them either. They're old enough now to understand relationships and failing relationships. It isn't like it used to be when you were the only kid in school with divorced parents. There is great counselling available now too. If she won't change her marriage now...get on with your life and if your friend's having problems with this counselling may also help him to.
2006-11-05 01:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by cherhub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a sacred thing to those who deserve it. Although staying together for the sake of children is valiant, I feel Paul should find someone else and move on. Life is too short to live for someone who only seems to lead him down the wrong path.
2006-11-05 01:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by 35 YEARS OF INTUITION 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this Sweetie but she is playing him! maybe it is because she has lost the spark in her own marriage or maybe lacks the attention she craves and of course gets that from him! tell your mate not to contact her for 3 weeks and she want she does? ask her whats the difference between leaving her husband now and in 5 years time wen the kids to go uni? if they are nearly ready to go to uni they must be old enough to understand she isn't happy as she is now! if she is still unprepared to make the move them sorry mate she is playing him!
2006-11-05 12:07:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him to let go and kick her to the curb...she is using him as a welcome mat.She is just stringing him along.wait for 5 years tell him no that five long years of pain he will be in,waiting and hoping.what will happen then she will just come up with another excuse.Tell him to go out and starting dating other people there are actually nice women in this world that will treat him better then she will ever.He could miss someone really great while he is waiting for a women that will never be with him.You need to help him to put a stop on this for his own good.also how about you tell him you will go out and start dating with him.(to look for a another woman for him)
2006-11-05 01:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by sublime badfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a complete load of crap!! Tell your buddy Paul that he needs to forget this girl and move on! If she really loved him, she would be with him right now...not telling him to wait for 5 years!
2006-11-05 01:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Matt S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My instincts says................she is loving the attention and doesn't want to give it up but he is on a hiding to nowhere. If she loves him the way he is hoping then a 5 year wait and a no meeting in between simply do not resonate. I certainly would not countenance anyone I loved having one night stands!
2006-11-08 14:58:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋