I am married but have a huge crush on a co-worker What should I do?

Question

I know the obvious answer is stop flirting but It's really hard to do. I have been married for 6 years and my wife is a great person. However, I get absolutely no physical or emotional attention anymore. We are more like best friends with a son. I definately do not want to leave her. I have been working with a young lady for a year now and for the past 3 weeks we have gotten to know each other very well. She is trying to leave her hubby because he is abusing her and I have been helping her cope at work. She reminds me of my wife alot, we enjoy the same things to a "t". We began a sort of mild flirting last week and I am so confused. My wife and I have talked about getting more intimate but nothing ever changes. I just need some advice from anyone who has been in this situation before. I feel like a highschool kid again when I am with my co-worker, I get the whole butterflies in the stomach feeling. THats a feeling I havent had in years.

Answer 1

Don't do it!!! First of all, if your wife found out and wanted to leave you, would this "fling" be worth you losing your wife over? Tell your wife how you feel about the lack of attention, you said yourself that she's your bestfriend. Romance at the work place never works. Plus the "mistress" is at her low point because she's leaving her husband. Misery loves company and the woman is vunerable and desperate. (No offense to you!!) Flirting and new relationships are always exciting at first but it's the long haul that proves the person to be worthy. Your "mistress" wouldn't even get the chance for the long haul because you clearly stated you have no intentions of leaving your wife. Flirting is harmless to a point...as long as it doesn't go past that. The truth is always brought to the light...be careful what you do and look at how many people can get hurt.
What if the other woman develops feelings for you and it turns into a fatal attraction? What if she wants you to leave your wife and you say no and she yells sexual harassment? You have to look at all the differnt aspects and not just this school boy fantasy you have. Is this fling worth losing 6 years and your family?

Answer 2

It may be hard, but think about your son and how it would affect him if this innocent flirting turns into an affair. Are you ready to leave your wife and break up your family? I've been in this situation before and I did not let it go any further because even though my hubby and I are more like friends than romantic partners, our marriage was not worth losing. It is true the grass is always greener on the other side. When you think back your relationship with your wife probably felt the same in the beginning as it does with your co worker now. It feels so good with the co worker because its new. I can guarantee you after 6 years it wont feel the same. Why don't you try spicing things up with your wife or even going to therapy if its that bad. Just don't risk your marriage or your childs future for an office fling. ITS NOT WORTH IT!!

Answer 3

The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence when we aren't getting exactly what we want at home. But you made a commitment to your wife, and you'll keep it if your a smart man. This other lady needs support right now too, and you happen to be the next best thing. You know that old saying-She's jumping from the fire-right into the frying pan. Never works out. Your the frying pan! So, either way your gonna lose if your not careful. So, if your great wife AND 6 year old son mean anything to you, use the head on your shoulders and cool it-TODAY!!!!

Answer 4

That is really hard situation to deal with, but the best thing to do is keep it platonic with your friend at work and develop that friendship and eliminate the flirtation no matter how good it feels. Then work on your marriage, you are asking the questions so there must be cracks in your marriage. If you can fix it, great. Now you saved your marriage and you have a new friend at work. If it doesn't work, you now have a friend at work that you are attracted to that you have built a foundation with for possibly a future successful relationship. If you fool around now, only chaos will be the result and you may have to leave a job to try to save a marriage that may already be too broken for repair.

Answer 5

It sounds like he's pursuing you alright. Do you want to have a reputation as a person who cannot be trusted and breaks up other people's relationships? Let's try this. Do you want to be with a man who is willing to cheat on the woman he's with and isn't comfortable with people his own age? That's a *huge* age difference. If you were thirty-something it wouldn't be a big deal but you're twenty-something and I suspect maybe even younger. A man who isn't comfortable with other 40 year old women is usually a predator.They seek out younger, more naive, innocent young women, who don't threaten their ego. If you can't avoid him like the plague, then find another job. There's a fine line between being "friendly" and being a "people person." Find some nice guy closer to your age, who is single. Lastly, the bodies of 40 year old men are not like those of 20 year old men. You don't really want to have to see that until you're older. Trust me! :X

Answer 6

What are you waiting for man!!!! Jump in bed and let it happen.... Then call me to represent you in court as you life turns to hell. I will take what you make for a couple of years. Then she will get the rest. Make sure you buy a tent before the big event, you will need a place to stay. Not to mention the emotional drain will kill your relationship with the new sex pot and leave you wishing you were back home.

Take the effort and spend it on your wife. She will turn around with time. She needs to come before you. Then she will give you more than you want. Surveys say... a way into a wife's pants - house work and more house work. Then a few flowers and a poem or 2. It works.

By the way... send me her name, phone and address. While you are out doing the wild thing... I'll be happy to attend to your wife... A few flowers and a phone call or two - she will respond. They all respond to attentive attention. Get the point!!!!

Answer 7

remember what attracted you to you wife in the first place take her on a weekend just the two of you. don't get mixed up with your co-worker that will spoil every thing. get back what you had with your wife.
some times we just want what we had in the beginning, how did you turn her on then, what nice things did you say to her.
do some thing for her out of the ordinary like bring her flowers and take her to diner get a babysitter for the night and stay in a hotel.
from the sounds of it you really love your wife don't blow it.....

Good Luck

Answer 8

Get a new job and grow up! You will regret this for the rest of your stinking life! And if she is interested in you even though you are married, she is a SLUT. And you will never be able to trust her. And she will never be able to trust you! Grow up Dude! Don't be stupid! Be a real man! Get another job and dump her as*. Then go home to your wife and hold her in your arms and give her a huge kiss, do this before you ruin your life and your families.

Answer 9

You have no business trying to help your friend COPE with her abusive hubby. Classic, damsel in distress, and men cannot seem to steer clear of them. Perhaps if you put as much effort into your marriage as you do flirting with your coworker you would feel differently about your wife. Basically, I say GROW UP! BE A MAN! YOU made some promises to your wife when you married her. No one promised you marriage would be easy or even comfortable. Your marriage will be what you make it.

Answer 10

Haven't you read enough stories on here about the people who cheat? There are so many people with terrible stories about losing their families for a "fling" that wasn't worth it to begin with.

Don't throw away a good family for a dream. Look at your wife and find something to admire each day. Compliment her about her good characteristics. The spark can be re-ignited.