How can I get over being so paranoid and self conscious?

Question

I don't have much self confidence and I'm pretty paranoid. I hate it!

Answer 1

You are self conscious because you have yourself too much in your consciousness. Try practicing this. Start out gradually because initially you are going to feel somewhat uncomfortable doing this (that's normal) and you don't want to overwhelm yourself. When you are with another person or group of people begin to focus on that other person or someone you pick out of the crowd if with a group of people. Imagine (and this may very well be true) that that other person is as uncomfortable and self conscious as yourself, maybe more so. OK, now here's the part you may find hard (maybe you won't, depends on just what sort of person you are). Begin to empathize with that person. Feel HIS/HER discomfort rather than your own. Now, knowing how much pain there is in discomfort of this sort (after all you've experienced it yourself many times) ask yourself how you can make this other person feel good (or at least better) about him-/herself. What can you do to relieve that other person's pain and feeling of separation and make that person more comfortable in the situation? Once you have the feeling part down pat, begin to offer that help in whatever small way you can. Doesn't have to be big or earth-shattering. A small compliment will do. Just a warm smile can begin to break that ice, the ice in the other and in yourself too. Practice. Practice. Practice. Be willing to endure some pain and discomfort initially. Learn to listen, REALLY listen, to that other person when he/she speaks. If you are really listening, your thoughts are on that other, not yourself. You can not both be listening and self conscious too. Once you learn to do this well, it will all come naturally to you. And the paranoia will be gone. Trust that this is all true. Best of luck to you, but remember, luck alone won't cut it here, it WILL take effort on your part.

P.S. - Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you the best part of all this. In just a little while after you start doing what I've described above you will find that these people you have been nice to will want to be nice to you as well. In a little while you will find that you have lots of good friends.

Answer 2

There are many ways (people have listed some of them here) of improving your self-esteem, which in turn will help reduce your troubling self-conscious feelings. Normally, though, those feelings center on the issue of "inadequacy of looks" and feeling (more often than not in your own head) that you are somehow physically "different" than others. Remember: self-confidence (notice I said, self-confidence, and NOT arrogance) is very Sexy. So, start looking attractive by feeling self-confident inside. ... But if you are ready and courageous enough, I am going to give you a wonderful practical tip to take you out of your immediate and painful dilemma, while you work on improving/building up your self-confidence. … Are you ready? Okay then here it comes: STOP LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN OTHER PEOPLE'S "MINDS", AS IF THEY WERE A BUNCH OF JUDGMENTAL MIRRORS HANGING IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE! ... You feel paranoid because your feelings of inadequacy have trained you to project yourself into the minds of others where you feel you are being judged. All you have to do to remedy the problem, in the short run at least, is to stop trying to read other people's minds about you. Stop living your life in other people’s perceptions of reality. Treat the paranoid feelings for what they truly are: Warning signs that you are subconsciously trying to see yourself in other people's minds again. ... Condition yourself to STOP projecting, as soon as you detect the earliest trigger/presence of those warning signs. … Now, am I telling you here that people NEVER judge each other? Of course NOT - look at yourself for instance! Don't you think you are judging yourself to be inadequate all the time? Don't you think you are also judging others by thinking that they are constantly evaluating and judging YOU? Perhaps it's time for you to start being more courageous and spiritually in sync, and less judgmental of yourself and others. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Change your environment but don't disguise who you are so others who are strangers can get to know you. Its a proven fact that children who move around with their parents due to job changes become better adept at making new friends and meeting challenges in the work place.

Answer 4

Get a job in a store or some other place you are forced to talk to people.

Become knowledgable about something in particular, so you have something to talk about.

Listen to other people.

Tell jokes.

Watch comedy a lot.