WE're in debt up to our elbows, but she won't stop shopping.....I don't know what to do about it.
2006-11-04 15:31:46 · 40 answers · asked by Michael D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's a shopaholic... It' doesn't matter how much debt you're in, she'll spend and spend and spend, if not cash, it's debit, credit, line of credit, application for store card, this that and the other thing.
You need counseling before you lose your house!
2006-11-04 15:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Middlehitter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mike sounds like your wife is bored with the home life. This in turn encourages the shopping as an oust of boredom and unhappiness. What is a better way to relieve the stress and unhappiness other than shopping?
Find a new man!
This starts with you and you best find out why her needs are not being met and make her happy.
This is stage one next comes the big D and your stuck with all the debt. Best start getting things changed in the home then the shopping will stop.
2006-11-05 02:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You are the Head of the Household. 2. You control the finances. You are in debt. You have done a poor job thus far of managing. Your wife and her spending is not the problem. You are. What's wrong with you? How come you can't get it together? Is it her fault? Do you want to blame your mess on someone? If your wife stops shopping will that get you out of debt? If so, read #1 and #2 again.
When YOU take charge, and I mean really take charge, making positive change take place, getting your debt under control and debt elimination in progress, getting that which led you into debt under control, and spending boundaries and budget/savings parameters established...then you will begin to also see a change in your wife. YOU are solely responsible. Accept this fact and get yourself together.
2006-11-04 15:44:56 · answer #3 · answered by mellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well many women like to shop and spend more money than their husbands think they should, but it sounds like this is something more. Shopping can be an addiction just like drugs or alcohol. Something that makes her feel better at the time even if it has horrible consequences. She's probably just as worried about the financial situation as youare, even if her behavior is making it worse. If that is the case, getting upset is not going to help matters. Maybe help her come up with an alternate activity. Or she could just be a selfish witch.
2006-11-04 15:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by jazzman6812 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women get so lonely that shopping makes them feel better. Also, some women get mad when their spouses say stop spending, but then go out and buy hunting and fishing stuff. So they are just trying to get back at you. You need to dig into the problem before you look for solutions.
Some couples have found that a regular allowance of about $75.00 a month each for "fun" spending helps regulate where the money goes.
2006-11-04 15:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by mar 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow...she sounds like a shopping addict or just plain selfish.
You might want to get the credit cards, and the check book.
Go shopping once a week and let her know to make a list of the things needed.
It will take drastic measures but do it now,financial stress often ruins marriages because of the stress.
If it is not gotten under control you will find yourself divorced and owing so much money that your future will be messed up.
So get control of the money and ask her to seek help.
2006-11-04 15:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably doing that because she isn't feeling like she is loved, and is replacing that feeling with things. Why don't you make a concerted effort to pay attention to her in a way that she finds meaningful? It will take alot of patience and understanding, but it may help. Don't even discuss the shopping for a couple weeks, and see if your efforts are having an impact? If they don't, maybe you should seek couples therapy together. Good luck.
2006-11-04 15:37:05 · answer #7 · answered by amuse4you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she a stay at home mom? maybe she is bored, and doesn't know what else to do with herself. She should try to find something to do that doesn't cost money (like a book club, or a class at the community college - this costs money but it might be less than she is spending now) Also, incessant shopping is a sign of depression, she may be trying to fill some sort of void.
2006-11-04 15:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by simplegrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her. Ask her if she would be willing to go to counseling. She may just have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and not even realize what a financial burden she is putting you in. Give her an "allowance", and you take over paying the bills and monitoring the budget. Try to keep her busy doing something she likes that doesn't cost money (her hobbies, interests, visit friends/family, take walks).
2006-11-04 15:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the money out of her hands along with the credit cards etc. Everything that she could use to get money or purchase something. Then send her butt to get help. She won't like it but tell her it's that or the streets. In the long run she will thank you
2006-11-04 15:38:37 · answer #10 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋