I'm extremely shy, and i want desperately to be a camp counselor, but first i need to be an LIT, which is basically a junior counselor who is expected to be very nice and interested in the kids, friendly with the counselors, and basically a full on outgoing people person. I like kids, and i am pretty good with them, my only problem is being outgoing and good with children when people are watching, and also because the competition is really big, a lot of really good counselor material people are going to be there next year, and if i'm like how i normally am i wouldnt have any chance of making it. I really just need help on how to be outgoing and counselor-y... i'd say that i have asperger tendencies, like if i were to pick the closest disorder thingy, and i tend to miss social cues. I can't seriously say that i would be able to wing it, but i might be able to learn to be outgoing and fun in a good way, does anyone have and suggestions?
2006-11-04 15:31:14 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
people* person i should have checked the spelling
2006-11-04 15:38:47 · update #1
i never did say that i had aspergers, just that i had the tendencies, and no one really seems to understand that i want to be told how to act when i don't know how, they just say oh you're fine or you'regetting better at acting in public, and i absolutely hate talking to people and trying to make conversation.... i've always thought that you were supposed to express your feelings, or like that it was ok to let someone know how you really felt, but apparently that's rude? like not over the top, just like when i told this shrink person i didn't know if i wanted to see her or not, the first meeting, i thought that was ok, because it was a professional question, but she and my mom said that was rude? i took the test, i got a 34, but i wasn't sure, because some of the questions could be asked from different angles? and i don't plan on this for a forever standpoint, i just mainly want to be able to survive next summer at least, because i have so many friends there i would never see otherwise
2006-11-04 17:58:07 · update #2
35*... and now they're making me enter 10 characters... i think i brag without meaning to, because a few days ago, i asked my friend what she got on a test that i forgot she hadn't taken yet, because i was genuinely interested to hear, because it would decided whether she stayed in the class of not, and when she said that she hadn't taken it, i sort of laughed, like embarrased that i had forgotten, and she like snapped at me that she already knew i'd only missed three and i didn't have to brag... is that percieved as bragging, when i ask someone what they got on a test, like do they think i just want them to ask me? because they do, but i really just want to find out what they got, not brag about my score, which is always high, which probably sounds bad.... i'm way off topic...
2006-11-04 18:06:34 · update #3
If you have an actual disorder, you should certainly talk to your doctor to get the help you need for it.
Being a people person doesn't necessarily require a lot of work. It does require the ability to smile like you mean it and listen like you're interested. Really, those're the most important. People crave attention and someone to listen to them, and they like being around people who smile and make them happy. Not that I'm suggesting denying what you are feeling, but a big smile and a sincere "How is it going today?" are really going to take you far. The listening thing helps especially with children. They don't receive 100% of someone's attention as often as they want, so they really like it when you focus solely on them.
Forcing yourself to be outgoing when you're shy is really hard. The best thing to do? Just make yourself. You know that corny saying "fake it until you make it"? It actually works. Make yourself go up to people to make conversation; if you have no idea what to say, just compliment them on something or ask them about themselves. Make yourself herd kids into fun activities. Force yourself to be cheerful when you really just feel like hiding in your cabin. Again, I don't want you to deny your true nature or feelings, but you aren't happy with your shyness. I know it doesn't sound like great advice, but it's really all I've got. It's how I got over my shyness. Your first few attempts will probably feel awkward, and may even look awkward, but it'll slowly get easier until you find yourself loudly singing some ridiculous song with a bunch of ten year olds while your fellow counselors giggle at how great of a counselor you are.
2006-11-04 15:48:31 · answer #1 · answered by random6x7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Are you certain you have Asperger's?
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html is an online test that will give you a reasonable indication of your likelihood of being AS.
Asperger's can be a serious disadvantage in people-related work. If you are going to approach this kind of work as a career, you will need to make a serious commitment to learning a lot of things about nonverbal communication, that AS people do not seem to notice as readily as neurotypicals (non-AS people).
There is always the possibility that this kind of work will *not* be your ideal career path. Are you looking for work where your other strengths can be an advantage?
2006-11-05 01:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mister W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you.....
the best thing I could say for you to do is to start with everyday situations in your life right now, or when your in public, at the grocery store, or at school, at the gym...etc.... be more open to taking the initiative in approaching people, striking up conversations with them, but don't force it, there are better times than others for these things.
People watch is a good thing too. It helps you recognize and see human behavior and interaction from the outside in
2006-11-05 00:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋