I have been married for 5 years my wife has cheated on me several times. She treats me like a slave. I work all day at one point I had 2 jobs and the baby was in day care but she didn't work. I am all ways cleaning and cooking. I have always used the excuse that she has bipolar. But this last time she moved out put us in financial ruin we have to file bankruptcy.
The thing is I have a friend that I have had for 10+ years and she has her problems too nothing has ever really happened with her we kissed a few times. But I can't stop thinking about her it almost makes me sick and sad at the same time.
What do you think I should do????
2006-11-04 14:55:27 · 20 answers · asked by Spoon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank YOU all for your advice I only kissed my friend after my wife moved out and we have done consoling
2006-11-04 15:10:08 · update #1
You need to go to counselling with your wife. And, if you can't solve it, you need to end your relationship.
Btw, I don't care how bad things have gotten with your wife, by kissing another woman you cheated. And there are very few things you could do thats worse. Despicable.
Your wife may be nuts, but thats when you try to fix the problems, not when you go kissing someone else.
2006-11-04 14:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are married to a chronic cheater. Her behavior, effects both YOUR mental & physical health. At what point do you decide you have to make a break from this realtionship with a woman who clearly doesn't have anything but her interests at heart? Will you wait until she brings home AIDS, or some other veneral disease? You've already stayed long enough to have your finances riuned. There is a line that should be drawn for better or worse...do you stay in hell with the she devil and keep letting her kick you in the balls because after all She has bipolar disease......take out some tissues and have yourself a good cry...you have let her treat you like a slave , YOU HAVE LET HER TREAT YOU LIKE A SLAVE AND A DOORMAT! So, what are you going to do about it? You can not start over until you end the nightmare that you seemed to have settled in. You've got a backbone use it. Begin to make plans to start over without her and all of her crappy baggage. If she hasn't been willing to help herself then you can't help her. But you can help yourself. Take a good look in the mirror next time you wash your face, Look deep into your eyes...are you happy? Do you deserve to be happy? Then put a plan into action. If you need help ...that's what freinds are for...
2006-11-04 23:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs some help! But more importantly you and your child are the victums of her bad choices and your child will be hurt by this if she continues. You should go to counseling but to help you, your wife chose this way of life she has to be the one to fix not you or your child. Being consoled by your good friend could prove to be detrimental to you and your divorce should you end up going that route. And maybe even end up losing your friendship. I'm sorry she has done this to you and your family. Before you jump into this new relationship take care of the present one first so there is a fresh new start and maybe talk to this friend and if you are meant to be together it'll happen. And she will wait for everything to be staightened out. Don't rebound it!
2006-11-04 23:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First leave the friend alone for now that could only make a bad thing worse.Second tell the wife to take a hike and dont come back but leave the kids with you being as how you are there support anyway.After the divorce work on takeing better care of you and those kids.
2006-11-04 23:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being in a relationship is tuff. I am not married, but very cautious about who I date. So I will tell you this a relationship is spost to be 50/50. It seems like you are doing a 100 and she is doing none. Dude she cheated on you several times it is time to move on. You are hurting yourself by being in the relationship. You have to make yourself happy before you make anybody else happy. If you truley want to work it out and save your marriage you have to sit her down and tell her all things that you are tired of her doing. If it don't stop then you have to move on. Is'nt time to make yourself happy. Oh by the way being bipolar is not an excuse, she still knows that she is hurting and she don't care obvisily. Well good Luck in the future.
2006-11-04 23:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough situation especially with a child in the picture. If you are not happy then and you have exhausted all other options then I would recommend that you file for divorce. Get out of the relationship that you really don't have with your wife.
after things settle down then maybe you and your other female friend can get together or at the very least you can start fresh.
2006-11-04 23:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by angels 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Living with someone who is bi-polar is a life changing experience, been there. The thing is, you end up going through the same cycles. You get down on things, you mentally try to fix them, you crash and burn, and then you begin to think you can work things out. You can't. If she is on medication, or needs medication, it has to be a religious thing for her to take that medication. For her, for you, for the child.
If she won't take the meds, leave.
Take the child and leave.
As far as this other person, I would not lend too much to that. I am sure she is a Friend, but when you are feeling worn out from this relationship that is eating you up, you seek out something to occupy your heart and your mind.
You need some time on your own, to get reacquainted with yourself, after giving your sanity away for so long.
2006-11-04 23:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by Hatem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to a marriage counselor. They have Low cost and free services in most counties.
I am worried you will not only loose your wife but a great 10 year friendship if you keep this up.
Find your priorities and work on maintaining order for you and your kids. Your marriage needs help and you need to be strong and stay away from new relationships until this one is resolved.
Good Luck to you!
Free Sites:
http://www.growthtrac.com/special/counseling/
http://www.feelgoodcounseling.com/marriage_counseling_form.htm
2006-11-04 23:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone she's has slept with, you have slept with. Are you willing to keep taking that chance? That is the one thing I will not put up with. If my husband ever cheated on me once I'd be gone.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave the other woman out of it til you get yourself together. You may think you love her, but what if she is a crutch right now. And what is she doing with you knowing your married? Take care of you and your child first.
2006-11-04 23:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by jetnet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife is on medication, she has no excuse for acting like that. Just because she has bipolar disorder doesn't mean she has to be lazy. I bet she's fat too eh? I feel for your kid.
Anyways, about your problem. You need to decide if you want to be with your wife and how much you value your marriage. If you don't value your marriage or your family, divorce. If you do, get counselling and forget that other woman. Avoid her and stop having contact with her.
2006-11-04 22:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋