My daughter is driving me nuts! Why do kids think that they are so cool and that their parents are idiots?

Question

Ever since she started middle school she has become a nightmare! She thinks she knows EVERYTHING... Tonight I was talking to my friend on the phone and she played a song for me that I liked. I told my friend that the song had a tight beat and I really liked it. My daughter comes over and says, "tight?" Aren't you a little old to copy "OUR" words! I told her that her generation is just recycling everything from mine (which was the 80's and tight, dope, fresh were words WE used) She thinks that if I do or say anything that she does that I am trying to copy her and her friends...never mind that my friends and I have been using this language way before she was born. What is up with her? The other day she made a comment that it is crazy that her mom knows all HER songs and that I shouldn't like teenage music...the music I like is mostly remakes from when I was younger! Every day she says something that in effect says we are socially retarded and definitely uncool, Why?

I guess I am just surprised because my daughter and I have always been extremely close and then this year she has kind of turned into a bit of a snob towards me. I still treat her well and love her the same, of course but I thought girls that acted this way did so because they were not close with their moms.

Answer 1

giving in to every snotty thing is a recipe for disaster. you need to step up to the plate. when i was 13/14 i was a total snot. my mom was expecting it, it just rolled off her back. after a while i stopped because it didn't make a difference with her. it took longer with my dad though, because he had more troubles accepting it.you should know that these days, i'm more at ease with my mom, because i can say something like, your getting old, and she'll just laugh and say something sassy back.

don't stoop down to your daughters level. you know that "cool" is just recycled from what was cool in your days, so what if your daughter doesn't know? it's her loss, don't lose sleep over it.

Answer 2

Maybe I just have a dark sense of humor but I'd put up an electric fence. I'd be ticked off at rude kids cutting through my yard too! Some parents think they don't need to teach manners for some odd reason. You can call the police, make an incident report of what happened (just in case) and at the very least get trespassing warnings served.

Answer 3

She sounds like she is testing your limits. She is searching for her personality traits and she is trying to find them through you.

Just think when you were her age and how awkward you thought you parents were and how much you much smarter you thought you were over your parents. I tell you children are much different these days and they have a lot more peer pressure than we did. Life today is much more stressful because there are so many "grown" up things children have to indulge.

If you feel what she is saying is making you uncomfortable tell her and open up to her to show her how you feel. Soon she will stop but until then don't be afraid to let her know that she is still a "kid."

Answer 4

I remember doing the same thing when I was a teen, and I turned out okay. Every time I see my mom, I apologize for the way I treated her. :) In fact, now that I have a sixth grade daughter, my mom laughs and laughs at some of the stuff that I tell her about our daily life. I guess what I'm saying is that I think all kids treat their parents like this. Try not to take it personally. Someday she'll think you're brilliant.

Answer 5

I think she has way too much attitude. A little rebellion goes a long way doesn't it? You sound like a really cool Mom that any girl would be proud of. Tell her you don't care if you are talking about music, hair or cookies, she needs to respect your opinion and your wisdom. Don't try to be a friend, you are the Mom!!

Answer 6

Isn't that what everybody did? Don't you remember when you were our age and you said those same exact words to your mom? I know, you're daughter thinks she knows everything. Is she in fifth or sixth grade or something? It sounds like it! Sixth graders are always like that. They think they are all popular and cool just because they are in sixth grade and they just started middle school. I was the same way. And nobody uses "tight" or "dope" or "fresh" anymore. Sixth graders think we do, but we really don't. We use "dude" and "awesome" and "coolio" and stuff like that...stuff that OUR generation made up. Your daughter doesn't know SQUAT about middle school, no offense.

Answer 7

Because, she is going thought puberty, its the time where a young girl is turning againsted her mother.. i dont know why they do that, im her age so yea i do that sometimes to my mom, but only because she embarasses me when she says weird things like "cool" and stuff, and i think that she is trying to think she is cool becuase she says cool. some parents dont realy get why there kids say things like that. So now i dont really care what my mom says XD

Answer 8

hi mom, welcome to teenager-hood!

it sucks, get comfy b/c it will probably last until she is about to graduate high school or the first year of college.

she is trying to find her own individuality and doesn't want her mom to infringe on that. it sounds like you are competing with her a bit (The other day she made a comment that it is crazy that her mom knows all HER songs and that I shouldn't like teenage music...the music I like is mostly remakes from when I was younger! ). this isn't going to help at all. just let her think you are lame and let her get frustrated with you, but continue to be there for her and get used to being uncool:)

take care.

Answer 9

well. . . I'm in middle school, and was last year too, but i never acted like that. i understood that while i am smarter and more mature than most other people my age in my grade, i am nowhere near as intelligent and mature as the average adult. i think your daughter is turning into a stereotypical, thinks-she-knows-it-all priss. Tell her not to talk about things she doesn't know about like she does, and, if you're willing, reverse it. you used the slang first, right? so when she says "god, mom, why are you using our words?" say sarcastically- "Oh my god, (daughters name)," snotty tone- "They were my friends and my words first." a.k.a. give her a taste of her own medicine.

Answer 10

A lot of kids her age like to feel as if their generation has things of "their own." Having a parent like them sort of, well, contaminates the coolness. I've seen a lot of teenagers who feel that way. Just go with it, but try to tone down her disrespect with your personal cool attitude.

On the other hand, my kids always liked to "turn me on" to their music; and I do the same for them with mine. As a result, I listen to a lot of Tool, NIN and Muse, and they borrow my It's A Beautiful Day, Chicago, Frank Zappa and Jimi Hendrix CD's.