Very important relationship question!!!! Men and women responses needed!!!?

Question

If a married woman gets raped by another man and gets pregnant, would you want the wife to keep the baby, abort it, or have it and put it up for adoption? Assume the morning after pill isnt an option. Please elaborate if the race of the rapist matters or not.

Answer 1

Why should I have a say in it? It's nobody else's business but the woman in question.

Answer 2

The decision should be between the husband and wife, what each is willing. Hopefully they can agree and the decision won't destroy the marriage. Rape alone is devastating.

HEY, the reason why RACE plays a part is this:

IF the rapist had a very different "look" from the husband and the wife (and any other children of the marriage), the child's looks will reflect that; not ONLY a reminder to the couple, but other people will ASK WHY the child looks different, and the couple will feel compelled to answer somehow without giving out very personal info! Should they lie and say it's adopted? What could they say?
People might think the wife cheated on the husband! That could be really hard to deal with on top of a rape and a pregnancy!

I personally would want to keep the child, but the couple must decide for themselves, as individuals and a couple, what they can handle.

Answer 3

That is a very personal question that deals with moral and/or religous beliefs. Because of these you are going to end up with a very different ideas. This is also going to have people tear into each other for what they believe.

Me personally, as a woman..I seriously cannot put myself in that situation. Above all, no matter how that woman go pregnant it is their right to choose what they want to do, I would also hope that the woman takes their husband.s feelings into account when they do make a choice.

Rape is a horrible crime and for lots of woman who have been there it take a lot to heal after such a tramatic event. Finding out that your are pregnant after such and attack, I would think, would make the woman feel even more violated considering she chose to be with a man (her husband) to produce children and someone took that away from her.

Now..I would think that having the woman go through carrying the baby of her attacker to full term would be hell. Yes, we know it was not that babies fault, but the mental impact is so great on a woman when it comes to carrying a child.

I simply could not decide..although I think that abortion seems to be an option because it could take care that mental impact..then again abortion in itself for some woman leave them hurt, angry and guilty.

Putting the baby up for adoption seems to be a good choice, there again the woman has to carry the rapist child full term and the mental impact would be bad also.

Keeping the baby, I dont think that would be good on the relationship because the baby would a reminder..once again we know the baby didnt do anything, but we are human and that is the way some people think.

In the end, husband and wife should take feelings into consideration when dealing with such a subject because of the impact it will have on the marriage..

Answer 4

Tough question. It will depend on ones character. Race nothing to do with it. Although both the dad and mum may look at the child every day and then remember the rape in question. Which won't be good for your own sole. Abortion, Don't agree with it, and would recommend counselling before hand. Adoption maybe, but then you have the regret of giving it up which may come back to haunt you. Either way, i would say the husband/wife relationship will go. The last thing you want is to take have the child, only to take any future anger out on the kids. It wasn't and isn't his fault. Nor is it the mums.

Sad circumstances which are no easy ones to answers

Answer 5

I think that the woman should have most of the say so on what happens to the baby. But on the other hand the man has to have some kind of say so because he will be taking care of the child also. Both of ya'll should be able to voice your opinion about the situation openly. If you think it would cause a problem in your marriage then you should do adoption. I do not believe in abortion. The race of the baby should not matter. A baby can not help the race or ethnic group they are in.

Answer 6

this is a tough question...But I will tell you my personal opinion...First of all it is not the wife's fault for being raped, and it definately IS NOT THE BABY'S fault..that baby is a part of her, she is carrying the baby...The race does not matter...When she will feel her child that innocent little life growing in her, she will realize that , that's HER baby. Belive me..It is hard to take in concideration that this baby was concieved as a result of a rape, but WHY PUNISH AN INNOCENT LITTLE LIFE??? It is completely your wife's choice, if she feels that she will be able to raise the child and lover her child the same no matter what, then let her..But I this abortion is not an option..If she don't want the baby then at least give it up for adoption that way the baby will have a chance at life, I have never been in that situation and honestly i can't imagine..But I tell you this with certainty..I would NOT NEVER KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD....But I do wish the best for her, You, the baby, and your family...Good Luck and I pray you all make the best choice for all.

Answer 7

Luckily, I've never been faced with this situation before, but I would hope that my husband would be willing to accept a child from rape as my child. After all, the child would hold 1/2 of my DNA. I doubt I'd have an abortion or place the baby up for adoption, but I'd want to have those options available to me as it's only a decision my husband and I could make. That's why it's so important to keep abortion legal-- being traumatized by a rape and then being forced to carry a baby from it to term, go through the pain of childbirth, and then be faced with the agony of giving it up or keeping it as a constant reminder of the rape (not to mention possibly having a C-section where there would be a permanent scar as a reminder either way) is a decision a woman should be able to make on her own, not by rich men in government who can never be faced with the possiblility of becoming pregnant by rape or otherwise.

Answer 8

I would have to say abort the baby. I know that abortion is not supported by a lot of people and believe me, I am one of them. This is a different situation. Both the husband and the wife will have a daily reminder of what happened. Should the husband and wife choose to keep the baby, that baby will be a constant slap in the face. I think it would be difficult to get past the feelings of what happened in order to give the child a happy and healthy environment to grow up in. I hope this isn't a personal story but I am truly sorry for what happened if it is. Take care and good luck!

Answer 9

Oh, tough one!
Ultimately it is going to be up to the wife who was raped, regardless of what race the rapist or potential child may be. Maybe some counseling for the two of you together as well as individually would help.
Maybe if you both keep in mind that the baby isn't the one who committed the terrible crime, so why punish him/her.
If the two of you decide that abortion isn't the answer, but you feel you can't raise the child either, then adoption would be your best bet.
I highly suggest the counseling for the two of you, she was raped, but it affects you both. I would try a rape crisis center if not for counseling, to find information about who/where to go get counseling for you both.

Answer 10

Are you sure she was raped??? Not to say anything bad here, but I know someone who claimed to have been raped when she was actually having an affair. I would make sure she goes to the cops and reports the crime. As for the baby, that is up to her and race has nothing to do with it. It is still her child despite what happened. You being her husband (I assume) should support her decision no matter what. What a bad situation . . .

Answer 11

If the woman is raped, she would tell her husband at the time and would have been taken to the hospital and a rape kit used to determine dna. If she ends up pregnant, which is highly unlikely, that is something the couple needs to conclude together. The race of the child shouldn't be a factor, as long as it is a member of the human race.