please rephrase this sentence.......??

Question

""On Monday November 12, 2006, all students should come to class dressed like the person they want to be when they get older such as dressing as a policeman, nurse, teacher, or even an athlete.""
Please rephrase this sentence

Answer 1

"Pupils must come to school dressed like the person they'd like to be when they grow up, e.g. policeman, doctor, teacher,etc."

Answer 2

It will be fine if you just delete the phrase, "dressing as" --so that it then reads, "On Monday, November 12, 2006, all students should come to class dressed like the person they want to be when they get older, such as a policeman, nurse, teacher, or even an athlete." Other peoples' suggestions are good, too, but I think I like this one better because it reads well and makes minimal changes. (I have added a couple of commas.)

Answer 3

I would split into two sentences
""On Monday November 12, 2006, all students should come to class dressed in the clothes for the job they want when they get older. For example, you could dress as a policeman, nurse, teacher, or even an athlete.""

Answer 4

It depends on whether you need one or two sentences.

"All students should come to class on Monday November 12, 2006 dressed as the person they want to be when they get older, such as a policeman, teacher, nurse, or even an athlete."

That works for one sentence, but the statement really works better as two sentences.

"All students should come to class on Monday November 12, 2006 dressed as the person they want to be when they get older. For example, students could dress as a police officer, a nurse, a teacher, or even an athlete."

This arrangement keeps the first sentence short and to the point, without being too wordy. Consider revising the phrase "get older;" I was taught never to use the word get, so it just doesn't sound good to me. Phrases such as "grow up" or "become older" sound better.

Answer 5

try splitting it into 2...

"On Monday November 12, 2006, all students should come to class dressed like the person they want to be when they get older. They can dress as a policeman, nurse, teacher, or even an athlete."

?

Answer 6

Monday, November 12, 2006 All student should come to class dressed in the attire of their career choice, for example a police officer, teacher, or even an athlete.

Answer 7

Your basic idea is sound, and needs just a bit of tinkering to male it really good. I have no idea why people ignore the search for the most efficient word and punctuation and think that the answer is adding more punctuation and unnecessary words. Let's slow down and LOOK. If you want to keep it all one sentence, the proper punctuation after "certain" is a colon. Any time you NUMBER the elements to follow, a list becomes formal and requires a colon. But why "for," anyway? A thing is either certain or it isn't. And a period or "full stop" makes for a longer pause, a formal setting of the scene and uses the rhythm in your favor. "Amongst the darkness" simply makes no sense. "Darkness" is singular, and nothing can be "amongst" a single thing. And let's get poor Jake away from the dramatic threat of the eyes and put him in the realm of judgment, the sort of thing that humans do. Let's make the eyes and the darkness the focus of this passage, which means isolating them and possibly even choosing an ominous adjective, since we now have the emotional scope and physical space for it. Let's make the darkness into a THING that's moving in on him and threatening him. And let's imply that this business has been building for some time, with a single word. Try this: "And yet Jake couldn't shake the feeling that unseen piercing eyes had been watching him from the encroaching darkness. His campfire and rifle suddenly seemed pitiful and ineffective as the dark and the eyes crept nearer in the suffocating jungle night. Suddenly the tent and the others seemed very far away." Fewer words and most of them appeal to the five senses. THAT'S how to scare hell out of people.

Answer 8

Hi Kids! On Monday, all of you should come dressed like a policeman, nurse, teacher or even an athlete - whoever you'd like to be when you grow up.

Answer 9

Monday, November, 12, 2006, students should come to school dressed for their future occupations.
or
Monday, November 12, 2006, students should come to school dressed according to their future occupations..

Answer 10

On Monday November 12 2006, all students are encouraged to attend class dressed as an occupational figure they most admire. i.e police, nurse, fireman, or athlete or whom ever they choose.

Answer 11

On Monday, November 12, 2006, all students are encouraged to dress up as "What they want to be when they grow up".