Im friends with this guy and we were getting along just fine. He asked me out twice though..and i said no twice. After that, things began to go downhill. He became a bit suicidal for a while but it went away. I thought his mood swings were temporary because of me saying no to him. I didn't know he's been depressed for a while. I think that when i said no to him, it triggered something. He makes the happiest days of my life, but he also makes the worst days of my life. Now, he wants me to hate him so he can die without anyone missing him. yesterday, he started dissing me like crazy. He said i aplogize too much and that makes me a loser. He also said things like i'm too unsure so he hates me for it. i don't know. He can make me really happy but he can make me really sad. I've helped him get out of his depression a few times, but it's taking a lot of time and energy. I don't know if i have that kind of time anymore. Should i still be friends with him and help him?
2006-11-04 14:03:44 · 14 answers · asked by Light 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Honey, his state of mind is not your fault. You have your whole life in front of you - you cannot spend it trying to take responsibility for someone elses.
If he suffers from depression, he needs to get professional help.
I think you are an incredibly caring person who is allowing this guy to guilt-trip you into sacrificing your dreams to please him.
You need to step back a little. You can be a friend, help where you can, but don't let the "disease to please" take over your life.
Start being the person YOU want to be - if you keep denying that in order you please someone else, you will lose who YOU are, and I suspect that will not be a good thing for all those people who are going to benefit from knowing you in the future.
2006-11-04 14:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by belmyst 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should voice all these things to his parents or a school counselor, if you are out of school see if you can get in touch with some family member. THis boy needs help NOW!! IT is great that you try to help him but he is bringing you down with him. He takes his anger and depression out on you, and if he does kill himself you will feel guilty. Get him help from family and then just support him, but do not let it consume you. He needs help, but the last thing he needs is to be abandonded, but yet you don't need the stress in your life either. Try to find that happy medium, but immididatly get him help. If he has noone, call the local welfare office, or even the police and ask what you should do. That is only if there are no other souces of help. Good luck,
2006-11-04 14:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would definitly try to get him help. He needs to talk to a professional and maybe go on medication. You can only do so much as a friend, like being understanding and supportive. If things get really out of hand go to his parents and let them know his thoughts about suicide, thats very important for them to know. The way he talks he could do it, or maybe he's playing on your feelings. No matter what the situation is he is a canidate for some serious help. Who knows you might be helping in saving his life.
2006-11-04 14:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by smplylori32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it - when someone wants to die you can't stop them (trust me okay). He obviously is using this whole depression/suicide thing to keep your attention - somehow - anyway he can. You have mind games being played on you when you are with him and it is a poisonous situation. If I were you I would run to the hills and not look back. Whatever he does it completely out of your hands. If you are really worried, I would talk to his parents and then back out of the whole deal. Someone like that could decide one day if he can't have you, he could want to kill you. Sounds a little dramatic you think - however it happened to a friend of mine and she lived but has many physical scars that she must live with for the rest of her life (plus one day the jerk will get out of jail). Someone like this is not a good friend, and whatever his problem is you cannot fix it - only he can and only when he is good and ready. In the meantime, concentrate on more normal positive situations and stay away from him - he is bad news!!!!
2006-11-04 14:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One thing is for sure: you really have to help this dude! these mood swings can lead to him thinking he is not good enough for the world. You don't have to go out with him to make him feel better about himslef. Hust give him a lot of compliments and be very kind or nice to him. Don't be sarcastic or act offended when he disses you. Just work on him, little by little, and he will feel confident. You should also be kind to him if he disses you, and don't be cold about it. For example: he says "Why do you always have to be so critical?" you would say "I am sorry if you feel that way, and I will try to not judje you anymore."
If this does not work and he thinks you are crazy, kindly inform him about your opinion and hopefully, he will see what he is doing wrong.
2006-11-04 14:13:42 · answer #5 · answered by nicce 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My best buddy consistently has to do the calling lol. See, hes a guy and im a woman... i assume from time to time human beings only anticipate it to come again, and dont % to seem prepared. Plus you won't be on her suggestions each and all of the time, which doesnt recommend she doesnt care any much less for you. If the conversations you have along with her are actual, exciting, and long, then there cant be something incorrect, only save being the only to call and text textile. i comprehend its a difficulty, and it sucks, yet shes probable basically a lil stupid lol. and its none of your faults, only the character. stable success!
2016-10-21 06:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't blame yourself because this guy is wallowing in self pity and don't let him make you feel like its your fault. you are a good friend and you are helping him. it sounds like he needs a little more help than you are qualified for so see if you can find some kind of therapy for him or a self help group. there's nothing wrong with not wanting to get in a romantic relationship with a friend that is what makes you friends. keep supporting him and trying to get him to come out of his depression. keep up the good work.
2006-11-04 14:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is in no way your fault. It should be your decision whether or not you want to continue being friends. It sounds really difficult to me.. What if you stop being his friend and he ends up killing himself? I think you need to get some help for him, professional help. He might be mad and hate you for it, but in the long run he will be very thankful.
2006-11-04 14:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by . 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well sounds rather taxing and can really take alot out of you. Maybe u can talk to someone else? councilor? sounds like the problem is a lil above your head. good luck
2006-11-04 14:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by ezrax7 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your friend sounds like he needs help, but not from you. Help him to find a good councillor - if he refuses so be it. He cannot continue to abuse you and use you.. And blaming yourself for his actions is not helpful - so don't.
In my opinion, he is no friend of yours if he continue to abuse you - his depression is not your fault.
2006-11-04 14:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋