Why do i find it hard to accept and give affection? It really baffles me!?

Answer 1

I'm the same way, you to a strip club

Answer 2

Perhaps you are a schizoid personality type. That is, asocial and of low affect. Or not, but you do not have to think about the problem, or the approach to the problem from a psychological perspective. Think in a continuous, statistical manner. You are a variant, not a type, so you may have to come to accept yourself. I have. I observe people and give my affection to dogs. No woman has held me for her own, long, but my life is contentment. I do not need pseudo-intellectual social scientist telling me how I should feel, when they have not a clue to how I really feel. Be your authentic self, whatever that is, much better than being a social science construct.

Answer 3

As a child, were your parents affectionate toward you and or each other? Did you grow up in a single parent home? What kind of relationship do you have with those closest to you? Studies have shown that you will develop relationships that your earliest environment fostered. If you were not a receipent of this affection, then you will be less likely to accept it as an adolescent or an adult. Also, if you were involved in a traumatic event at some point in your life, such as rape, you may be less inclined to be trusting and affectionate.

Answer 4

I used to experience this, which is something like finding it really difficult to accept compliments (in my case anyway).

My guess is that you find it difficult because it is asking something of you, and for one reason or another you really don't want to risk revealing yourself - your innermost feelings and run the risk of having them hurt.

Revealing yourself you likely see as making yourself vulnerable, which is true, you would be. But the opposite is also true. Revealing yourself can make you much stronger ...and it's dependant upon how you view yourself within that context and as a whole human being.

I first came to understand this when I suddenly realised that being a 'human being' actually meant 'being human,' and that being one incorporates each of the human vulnerabilities we ALL have, and any number of the individual frailties too.

The strength comes in understanding that 'any such frailty is not what defines you' ~ unless you chose it.

I just love being massaged (for whatever reason - though i have specific medical ones), and I found it incredibly hard (to the point of an all-but 'Pain') to ask for what I so badly wanted and, in truth, so badly needed to.

Affection ~ can run along the same lines as both of the above ~ the fear of honesty, the fear of vulnerability(s being perceived (by the simple minded) as 'weakness's.'

Best of luck.
Sash.

Answer 5

That's the way I am. Perhaps something in the past emotionally scarred you, preventing you to accept or give affection. Something traumatizing which caused you to not trust anyone again. But who knows, maybe you were just raised that way. It's not a bad thing, just as long as you don't accept or give harm to/from others.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao6xK3_nTkcL5QWD4DNKuN3sy6IX?qid=20061101151232AAyAFKk

Answer 6

This is all about control, and you may simply have a hard time with giving it up. Being in control often gives us a sense of safety. But at the price of safety we often give up what we want most - acceptance and love. A lot of this stuff gets much easier as we get older and discover what is really important and what really isn't.

Answer 7

It is all in how we are raised. How our parents and family treat us. I came from a German family who does not show emotions. They never show love outwardly. They pen up all their emotions and feelings inside. My mother never told me she loved me and now she is 86 and I will never hear those words. We spend our lives just existing. I knew I did not want to live this way. I knew it was not the best for me or any of us so I left home at 17.

I went to college. I decided I never wanted to be like my family so I made a conscious effort to change. I showered my boyfreind with attention and then later my husband. My kids (now grown) were always told I loved them and hugged and kissed. I still do. They are very affectionate also. You should see us together XXXXXOOOOOOOO

But every once in awhile I fall back. I fall backwards and forget to tell my hubby I love him. I pull away from his affection. I remind myself I am not that person and so I try. I will always try.

And you can try too. See a therapist as they have unique ways to get you to open up. Or get a good self-help book and read as much as you can. Then practice. Tell people around you just what you are thinking of them (good or bad). Learn to speak your mind and show your feelings. It all needs to come out. You will feel better, have less stress, and your will have a better connection to your loved ones.
You can do it, I did.

Answer 8

Nobody divorces wealth. But people part each other if they can not like each other. What is likes ? It is a precondition set by our judgment. So the first condition is materials are to be judged owned and enjoyed. Second condition is never use people but love them. Now, to love,it demands a lot . Are we prepared to give in unconditionally ? Life is giving unconditionally and waiting, patiently, to return what is given. For all of us, it is tough to love as we are very afraid to lose self amd identity. Enjoy loving. No limits. No demands

Answer 9

Just like my Father, he never gives affection, just words, none that are caring as such.

If he does happen to say some words that are caring, he'll be telling me off while hes saying them - "What the fu*k are you doing out that late at night, you've got people sitting at home that care about you, and you dont even bother to call!!!!, Bi*ch get to your room."

PS. Im 19 years old. lol.

Answer 10

eeeffff... because giving and receiving affection means accepting you are real person, and that can be scary, because it means engaging with others than yourself and dealing with whatever that involves. that is very scary sometimes. it's easier to think that it doesn't matter, and to not get involved i guess. i have felt this too..

Answer 11

but wn u are alone u really wish u had affection, right?

what u shud do is stop being so hard...
give people help, encourage them. don't b a snob. pat them onthe back..touch someone.. today!