First of all, let me clear up that I am straight and I openly support my gay friends. I believe in equal humor rights for everybody regardless of race, religion, sexuality, or whatever reason. Secondly, let me state that my boyfriend likes to make fun of me because of this. He calls me gay (yes, that's why I am asking this here). I don't understand why he does this. I never express interest in women. Let me just say that's not the only name-calling he has done recently-he has called me annoying, childish, and unnatractive because of other reasons. Has his humor stepped over the line to verbal abuse? Please help. I have been with him for 4 years, and recently he has been doing all of this. I try to talk to him about the hurtful things he says to me, but he thinks I am being "naggy" and not "humorous" and that I need to "grow up". Serious answers appreciated.
2006-11-04 13:17:02 · 16 answers · asked by zombiefrog 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
hahah-freudian slip, I meant to write Equal Human Rights, not Equal Humor...(I guess I have humor on the brain since I am wondering if my boyfriend's humor has stepped over the line to verbal abuse)
2006-11-04 13:18:16 · update #1
ROFL..not AT you but WITH you. I caught your "slip of the tongue" (or in this case, finger) and took no offense at all... :)
Yeah, I'd be annoyed with your boyfriend too if I were you.
My brother unthinkingly will crack humorless jokes in a similar fashion as well, I just flash him a grim stare and he usually gets the picture that he's overstepped a boundary. But then there are times when he won't drop it.
This past summer my brother's company did all the A/V work for the "Gay Games" in Chicago. He wouldn't stop cracking jokes about gay track runners in sequined short-shorts and high-heeled track shoes. Or lesbian athletes in flannel shirts and work boots in a sculling vessel.
Yeah, the mental image is humorous at first...but when it's repeated over and over it goes way past humor to the point of annoyance and then insulting.
Even when my sister-in-law snapped at him to quit, he ignored her and kept needling me. Granted we just ignored him after that but it was the fact that he had done this before and knew when to quit, but this time he went too far.
My brother has always been very supportive of gays and lesbians, especially my partner and I, so this behavior was really hurtful. I'm sure he didn't mean it to be, but it still was.
Sometimes men just don't "get it" when it comes to stopping before someone gets hurt.
2006-11-04 13:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Annoying, childish & unattractive? And he doesn't want to discuss it ? It doesn't sound like the prognosis is for a healthy relationship.
When something bothers one, and the other won't discuss it, well, that's really the end right there. It doesn't get better, it gets bigger, like the snowball rolling down the snow-covered hillside.
Please ask yourself what you get from this relationship & is it still what you want? Someone who thinks you are annoying, childish & unattractive & doesn't respect you enough to have a quiet talk about his behavior in the context of your relationship is not your boyfriend anymore - he may be something else, but not your boyfriend.
What makes a relationship?
#1 = communication.
Think about it.
Good Luck!
;-)
2006-11-04 13:26:48 · answer #2 · answered by WikiJo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like he is being very abusive verbally. you seem to be a compassionate person who cares about others. you do not need to take that crap from him. you need to be firm with him and be sure to let him know that you are not nagging that you are serious that if he does not change his ways you will find someone else who will appreciate you for who you are. i do understand that you have been with him for four years and that you probably love him, but it does not matter if you have been with him for 40 years, if he is being abusive in any form, verbal or physical get rid of him. he will only bring you down and you is the most important person you need to worry about. he is obviousloy not concerned on how you feel so don't worry about his feelings.
2006-11-04 13:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay people do not affect relegion or society. Its relegion that affects all people. People push their relegion on people for the simple fact that they don't fit in with their beliefs and therefore must be transformed into another person so that they will be like them. Its all about relegion having control on everyone. I mean look at polotics. They put their beliefs into how they think the country should be run. If you don't fit in make a law that makes them misarable or make them change.
2016-05-22 00:04:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ur not over reacting hes being stupid. i just got dumped by my boyfriend of 3 yrs cause he wanted to be with other guys but before all that he was doing the same stuff ur boy friend was doing i'm not saying he will break up with u or he is wanting to do other things like my bf but i consider what my bf did verbal abuse but i kept thinking it was going to stop thats why i stayed with him but it didn't stop up till the end sometimes u just have to cut ur loses and start over find someone better
2006-11-04 19:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by hotboy_from_la 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would assume that he is a homophobe if you're being supportive of your gay friends cause him to call you gay. He's sounds very immature and insecure. on top of that, he IS verbally abusive to you. If I were you, I'd dump him and find someone else. regardless of how he might feel about gay people, you don't deserve to be mistreated that way.
2006-11-04 15:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get away from the asshole! Words like that aren't funny. They're harmful. It is abuse. You deserve much better than that. If he hasn't realized that he's stepped over the line, let him know. If he continues break up with him. He's not giving you the respect you deserve.
2006-11-04 15:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not over-reacting - if he's not only constantly criticising you, but also pushing you to be intolerant of others, then he's a bastard who doesn't deserve a decent partner. He might think it's funny, but if it upsets you and he knows it, then he's abusing your good nature and will probably get worse. Sorry, but I think you'd be better off out of there.
2006-11-04 13:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If that's what he thinks "humor" is, and you're not down with that, i say ditch him. You don't need that in your life; you're not over-reacting in the least.
2006-11-04 15:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it appears to me that as you mature into a beautiful person he is stuck in a biggoted disrespectful chilish place you need to honestly consider moving on honey
2006-11-04 13:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by jusme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋