I have a 19 year old son, a 16 year old daughter, and a 12 year javascript:void(old daughter, and Im pregnant!

Question

I am not with the my childrens original father, but I have been re-married for 3 years now. I didnt want to get pregnant, but it just happened. My son is getting married soon, and his wife is already pregnant. My kids aren't too happy. Any advice?

Answer 1

Forget what everyone else thinks...and figure out how YOU feel about it. Then make your decision based on that alone...

Answer 2

When I was 16, my mom got pregnant by a second husband. Me and my sister were SOO angry. Her whole pregnancy I was not crazy at all about her having a baby and am sure made her feel bad about it, which i now regret. The minute I saw my baby brother after he was born i was IN LOVE. To this day he is my FAVORITE person in the whole world and I couldn't imagine what it would be like if my mother didn't have him. I am 21 now and he is turning 5, and because of the age difference we dont fight like the average siblings do. Im his very big sister and I love it <3 Don't worry, Im sure they are just going through some shock. They will without a doubt get over it. Noone can resist a new life once its here.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. I have a 15 and 13 year old. I had no intention of having more children and when I found out about this one I was in shock for what seemed like a month. I am 5 months now and I have come to terms with it and feel very blessed. However, my children were not happy about it esp my son. I talked with them and asked them to share their feelings. I made it clear that they were allowed to say anything and that how they felt was ok. They have come around since and even though they may not be overjoyed they seem to be taking alot more interest in the baby. They are even wanting to name it. I think it just takes a little time. Your children see you a certain way and when that vision changes it causes alot of mixed emotions for them. It is hard for older children to see mom as a fertile woman, that, you know, is having sex. There is also jealousy and a little fear. Give them time they will come around and be overjoyed about their new brother or sister.

Answer 4

You're kids are old enough to understand that it's you and your husband's decision to have a baby. Even though you didn't plan on the new baby, it's still your decision to have the baby. While it's important that the entire family welcome the new addition, it's also important not to let your children's feelings influence how you feel about the new baby. As long as you and your husband are happy, your children should be happy for you, and if they're not happy about it, they'll hopefully get over that when they see the precious face of your new son or daughter! I'll bet their new sibling will have them wrapped around his/her little finger :) Take a deep breath, relax, and good luck!

Answer 5

Ha Ha. Happened to me too, but I was with my current and only husband. I have a 27 year old son, a 20 year old son, a 15 year old son, and a 10 year old daughter. Not to mention a 2 year old grandson that lives with me. Don't worry about the older kids, they'll adjust. My oldest thought he was going to die of embarrassment but discovered shortly after her birth that she was "date bait". As for your oldest son, tell him to look at it this way, the two of them will probably have a very strong bond and it just might strengthen the bond between you and your future daughter in law. I had my 10 year old when I was 37 and it's been very rewarding in many ways. ENJOY and the hell with what everyone thinks. If you and your husband are happy everything should fall in to place.

Answer 6

Your kids sound like they are being kind of selfish and thinking about themselves, they should be happy for you.

Their are plenty of people in this world who have older children and children 18 years of age or older and get pregnant, this is totally normal. To be honest when I read this post the movie father of the bride 2 popped into my head,LOL.

This is certainly going to be strange to your kids at first but they will get use to it and adjust and your grandchild will have a aunt or uncle to play with that is the same age as he or she which will be great for both of the babies.

Answer 7

They'll come around. Just as you wouldn't consult a 2-year-old when deciding whether or not to have a baby it's not up to your older kids either (and of course now since you're already pregnant it's not up to anyone anymore- it's just in God's hands). This baby will be a blessing to you.

Answer 8

well 'if you and your husband are happy don't worry about what any one thinks and the 12 year old is probably just jealous after all she;s the baby 'just let her know you love her and and the other older ones will have to learn their living their life's the way they want to and your going to live yours the way you want to. Good luck and congratulations! a new baby is a blessing.

Answer 9

Congratulations! That is very exciting. Maybe you can try explaining to your kids that having another baby won't mean loving them any less and hope they'll get used to the idea. They're old enough so that they should be able to deal with this in a mature manner. Good luck.

Answer 10

They will get over it. My mother and step dad had their only child 10 years and one day after her last from my dad. Our ages ranged in age from 17 to 10. We have actually enjoyed him very much. By the way mom hadn't planned it either. She was 37 and thought she was going through menopause. You will be tired a lot but bet you both will have more time for this child and it can be a blessing.

Answer 11

Your other children will eventually get used to it. My mother had her 2nd "oops" (her 4th child) when I was 15 (talk about a generation gap lol) and it was really weird for a while, but I eventually got used to the idea, and now my little sister is my favourite sibling! Just give them some time, that might be all that they need.