Why do people cheat, yet do NOT tell their partners?

Question

It must feel terrible to love someone, and then marry them, (or date them), and then find out that they are actually with someone else fooling around behind your back. Why do they do that? *Why can't they just tell their partners they're no longer in love with them, divorce them, and THEN, go screw around with someone else?* (It hurts everybody less!) Maybe there is some type of thrill when you're being unfaithful, but when they find out about you?... It's not really worth it... So why DO people do it? I know that sometimes they are just going out to have fun, (why can't you have fun with your partner?) Sometimes, they just cheat but return to be with their partners? Argh, I've wondered this when I learn about home lives and read stories... so why???

Answer 1

Usually they just want to have a little fun on the side. Where did you get it was about love? Only the idiots ever tell.

Answer 2

If they told their partners, they wouldn't be cheating anymore!

Seriously though, the person the cheater is married to is like a "security blanket" or a "comfort blanket". They go out and have fun, because for whatever reason, the spouse isn't interested in the same kind of sex or the frequency isn't there. They won't get a divorce, because it's "comfortable" there. They have a home, maybe kids, they're financially stable, and someone does their laundry and cooks dinner. If they got a divorce, all that would be gone or divided in half. They would have to be responsible adults.

The "security blanket" function comes in when the cheater feels insecure about him or herself. The insecurity is what drives the person to cheat. He or she needs to feel wanted and attractive. BUT just in case other men or women don't want them, they can always come back to their spouse, their "security blanket".

Answer 3

I wish l knew the real reason why people cheat. In my personal experience l feel it is the lowest thing you can do to someone you are supposed to be in love with. I'm with you , you should leave if you are not happy and can't tell your partner how you feel. Don't cheat on them because if they find out it is a terrible thing to put them through. There are probably a lot of reasons why people do it, l just hope that to all those cheaters out there who think they are getting away with it. Your world all comes crashing down on you one day and you all get your own back 10 times over, then you will know how hurt and humiliated you have made someone you loved feel. I believe in do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.

Answer 4

Cheaters cheat for many reasons. Some do it "because they can". Some do it to get something that they can't get at home, whether it's a hummer while playing videogames, someone who will go down on them in a theater, or just about anything that they feel is lacking in their current relationship. Some do it because they aren't happy in what they have, but can't bring themselves to end it. Some are impulsive and "act first, think much much later". Some do it because they no longer feel anything for the person they're with, so they consider themselves "available" (these are the worst, because in their heart of hearts they don't feel they're cheating). And so on...

You see? There are as many reasons for cheating as there are cheaters.
Thing is, though, as the one being cheated on, it hurts. It's like this person couldn't be satisfied with just you, he or more frequently, she) had to go out and get someone else.

You shouldn't feel that way.
If the relationship is salvageable, you need to find the reason (don't assume, and don't let up) and fix it. Most times, the problem isn't with you... so it's gonna take work. Otherwise, end it swiftly and don't look back.

Point is this: Don't dwell on the reasons, it'll drive you crazy. Cheating is a sign of a major problem in the relationship. Find what the problem is and fix it.

I tried to fix mine, but I wasn't good enought and she choose who was right for her. I was told life is like that!!

Answer 5

Sometimes love's just not enough. Sometimes the one you love takes you for granted and/or ignores you. You know he loves you but he doesn't act like it. He treats you more as a roommate who shares his bed than as his wife. Sometimes cheating is not about the emotional aspects, but about the sex. One partner wants more than the other, so they find it in another. The reasons people cheat vary. The reason they don't tell, is because they don't want to hurt the one they love.

Answer 6

If you told someone about it, it wouldn't be cheating, assuming you didn't deceive them or break the understanding you have with them.

On the other hand, if you've cheated on someone, why would you tell them? Wouldn't it be best just to not do it again? Confession might take a burden off of you, but it's putting the burden on someone else.

Unless, you really are a compulsive liar and cheater. In that case you should tell them, and break off the relationship, and never ever get in another relationship. Liars and cheaters deserve to be alone.

By you, I mean any person. Not you as an individual.

Answer 7

My boy friend did tell me about one of the times he cheated on me with him hoping that I would understand him. I did understand him until he did it again. While he was out of town one weekend with one of his flings, I moved out. He came home to an empty house. He said I had it all wrong, that he was just visiting his son! Guess I had been wrong for over 3 years..sure I was ...NOT! We had every thing too, there is nothing that I wouldn't have done for him either. But that is all a thing of the passed now, that is what happens when you cheat on someone that is good to you, still I would like to know why he did it knowing that he had everything to loose!

Answer 8

because of the fact honesty is mandatory in a courting. of course once you're having an on-going affair this is lasting months/years, than you're in all probability no longer in love with your first better half and could tell them that to end hurting them. this is in basic terms being considerate. A lapse of judgement is different. once you're incredibly sorry, if it replaced right into a mistake, then you definately must be uncomplicated with your better half and admit you tousled. If the courting is powerful like it is going to be, in case you relatively care approximately one yet another, than this is in basic terms yet another impediment to get by and circulate beforehand of. yet now and lower back it indicators the top of a doomed courting and facilitates the couple chop up up and circulate on and comprehend what they incredibly want. you're stupid in case you cheat interior the 1st place. you are going to injury the guy you're with one way or yet another. it relatively is in basic terms extra desirable to tell them you tousled rather of somebody else doing it. in case you do no longer tell me, and you cover it, then it seems undesirable and makes it seem such as you're gonna shop cheating. plus it will consistently be on your experience of right and incorrect. ingesting away at you.... desire this replaced into what you're searching for ;)

Answer 9

they don't tell their partner's because they aren't ready to leave them yet, they are still feeling out this other person, and want to remain in good standing with the wife, so incase they get dumpted by the mistress they will have a place to come to. also they don't want their family to know what their doing, until they are ready to leave their partner. they remain deceitful until the end, and only fess up at last resort.people cheat because they think they have fallen out of love with their spouse. i mean who can compete with a new toy, especially one who is doing all they can to get the spouse to leave. we all change after marriage, perhaps we gain a few pounds, get a few years older, the temptation on them is just too great, so they cheat because it is a new thing without all the problems of the marraige. most of the time they aren't forthcoming with the truth because they aren't ready to leave yet, and don't want to burn their bridges too soon. kind of sneaky and deceitful as far as the injured party goes, to be cheated on without even knowing it.

Answer 10

Oh, I don't know if it hurts less. I think many people do it for the thrill, thinking that what the other person doesn't know won't hurt them. And that is true. However, what does it do to the cheating person? How can a person feel good about themselves when they do cheat? Personally, I don't think they can.