Mother and father can you hear this scream? I cried myself to Hollywood
Golden streets turn ugly and beat
Can you hear this scream of me?
Take a walk around the block and tell me what you feel
See my worn and torn converse leaving shinny stars that I stamp and mark beneath my feet
So lets forget this ever happened avoid eyes how I despise
Recollections I want more affection so I seek from others
Mothers and fathers how you mess these childern up
Cry ,cry myself to Hollywood
Scream scream this dream ,dream
Let's take other walk around this block
Obscence reality is gonna hit me
Let's end end it here end it here
This childhood is full with my deepest hate I can't even explain
No words can be right I like to set the blame
2006-11-04 12:32:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
oh btw sorru for spelling errors
2006-11-04 12:33:25 · update #1
I like it. I mean I REALLY LIKE IT!!!!!!!!! Its awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Were can I read the others!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-04 12:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a really nice poem, there's no denying you have talent :) But maybe instead of just outright saying "Hollywood" you should be more vague, like "the city of the stars" or "the star city" or "the golden place in the hills." I hope this was good feedback :)
2006-11-04 12:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Penelope L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like this one too, especially line, cried myself to Hollywood.
2006-11-04 12:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by desdinova 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok all ur poems seem to be about anger maybe this this helps does it then continue but no offense but its not on my top 5 poem list sorry :)
2006-11-04 15:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by laurie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not bad for a poem but you have a good idea and going on the right tract.
2006-11-04 12:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋