Since tonight seems the night to be asking all the questions about cheating, here is one for you.
Why is it when there is a couple living together, married or not and one cheats on the other, not both of them, just one of them is cheating, why does the one that is cheating always gets mad at the other one that is not cheating? Even though the one not cheating knows that the other one is cheating on them, and don't say anything about it to the one that is.
2006-11-04 12:21:07 · 18 answers · asked by SapphireB 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will add one more thing to this question now. Ok If the cheater has it made in the shade so to speak with what they have at home and they still cheat knowing that what was being done for them at home, some of it will be cut out and not done any more. They just can't stop cheating..they want their cake and eat it too. Knowing that in the end they are going to be out the door. They talk hate ful to you and grip all the time. And of course lies all the time as well.
2006-11-04 12:39:07 · update #1
Ok for all you wonders out there that don't get what I am trying to say is: First off I am NOT the one cheating..I DO NOT believe in cheating the first place. My ex boyfriend of 4 years (we lived together that long) he had it all there with me. He couldn't stop cheating on me, I left him. But while we were still living together, he was gripping at me for everything, not all the time. I was just wondering why did the cheater always grip at the non cheater? We had it all right there, and by his cheating ways, we lost everything we had. There was nothing that I wouldn't have done for him or with him. I went out on a limb for this man. We are no longer together because he cheated non stop.
2006-11-04 12:55:46 · update #2
What? This is a classic defense strategy. This is the old switcheroo. You get mad at the person accusing you, somehow that is supposed to make that person feel guilt. It usually does not work. This is an adaptation if a man is doing it, as this is a classic ploy for women in arguments. They wait until they can turn a situation around on the man, and confuse him. Then they get really mad and hurt about some alternate point that actually has no bearing to the discussion at hand. If you are seeing these traits in a man, then he has been around a woman who uses this ploy. Let him know it's not going to work. Tell him "we are not talking about me right now, we are talking about you. Take some responsibilty for your actions."
2006-11-04 12:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Some of this is a defensive reaction, to be on the offense instead of being accused, and having to explain oneself. Also, the cheater often tends to suspect their partner is up to something, also (if I'm doing it...they probably are too!)
But what is really going on beneath all of this is the reason for the cheating in the first place: some unmet emotional need, which is why the person went outside of the relationship in the first place. Subconsciously (or not) the cheater feels "cheated" out of getting their needs met from the partner they have committed to in some way, and feel trapped, yet for whatever reason, do not just leave, which would be cleaner. Thus, they are angry at the other person, and often do not even really know why, but treat them poorly all the same.
2006-11-04 20:30:33 · answer #2 · answered by grapejuice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a guilt thing. The person doing the cheating probably feels guilty in one way or another and gets mad about being accused of cheating, lets face it ,it is easier to do the wrong thing if you are mad rather than upset about it. Another reason is they are trying to blame it on the person who didn't cheat ,by saying they didn't make them happy enough so they had to cheat. A pretty lame excuse l know but it is often used. Hope this has helped you a little. I am starting to get confused myself. See ya .
2006-11-04 20:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's called passing the buck. So long as the non-cheater is the bad guy, the cheater doesn't have to feel as bad or take responsibility for ruining the relationship.
If the cheater starts a fight with the non-cheater, they make the non-cheater angry. Then the cheater can use their anger as ammo to say the non-cheater is too emotional, or they are crazy...or whatever justification they need to go on with their cheating and not feel guilty.
2006-11-04 20:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jax 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are talking in the third party here so I don't know if your talking about your relationship or what, but if you are the one cheating, stop it, period, or at least tell him then leave. stop playing games! If it is him then leave him NOW! believe it or not, there are other good guys out there. not everyone cheats, I do not and never have! I am 44 years old and believe in being totally committed to the person I love. Forever and allways! Basically is what i am trying to say is to forever be true to the one you love or get the hell out!
2006-11-04 20:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's like the saying goes, "the one who smelled it dealt it" and a lot of times the cheater gets mad or defensive because he/she is feeling guilty and trying to catch the other in it too. or trying to find a reason to be mad at you so they can go out and cheat again and justify why they are doing it
2006-11-04 21:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Stormy Waters 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because the one who is cheating is trying to piss of the other one and make that person break up with them. The one that knows about the cheating is to afraid to leave and the cheater is to afraid to be the one to break up.
2006-11-04 20:25:44 · answer #7 · answered by mnmommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats simple. The one thats not cheating is in Love with the one that is cheating. They usually get mad at the one who is not cheating because that covers what he is doing also it justifys what he is doing. Ex. I'm mad with you right., you discover I'm cheating on you. My respond would be you'll not making me happy thats why I did that, you not talking to me. Its call a guilt trip. Heard the story about Halle Belle she was faithful yet her man was a dog. Can't change them. Me myself I don't believe in shacking up, there really is no commitement.
2006-11-04 20:30:17 · answer #8 · answered by mitteycole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i dont believe that is true not every couple cheat some couple actually do love each other and love each other to the point they do not need anyone else ///so its not true it does happen though some do cheat but not all
2006-11-04 20:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by melanni 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the cheater always gets made at the one he/she cheated on becase they were found out and had to explain themselves and sometimes end up blaming the one they cheated on for thier actions.
2006-11-04 23:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋