scared to tell wife her weight really bothers me?

Question

sometimes it just gets on my nerves I have tried all kinds of ways to tell her without hurting her and at parties or buffets she just eats so much, sometimes I get just a little so that maybe she will feel like she's eating to much but it doesn't help either

Answer 1

If you were writing this because you were concerned about her health I would think you were a sweet guy but you're not. You should love your wife no matter how much she weighs. When you fell in love with her was it because she looked smokin' in a mini skirt or because she was a wonderful person on the inside? Think about it. How many smokin' woman are snobby and think they are too good. Get your priorities straight. When I met my husband he looked great in jeans. His butt was my eye candy. He has since gained weight and he can put away the food sometimes. I sometimes worry about his health only because he has high blood pressure and he smokes. I've worried about his cholesterol but I have not once looked at my husband and thought god he's fat and he eats too much. When I look at him I usually think to myself about how handsome he is and how beautiful his eyes are. I love my husband and he still turns me on added weight or not.

Answer 2

Maybe you could try telling her, without telling her. Meaning... get her up & get her exercising. Go for walks, be it through your neighborhood, mall, park. Check out the scenery! It's brilliant this time of year. Turn on some music & have her dance with you, or go out dancing. Take detours away from the buffets & try something you haven't eaten before. Or do a little research for places around your area that have some low fat menus. Then if all else fails... just sit down & have a heart to heart with her. Explain why being heavy isn't good on the body. Not because of looks, but because of the health issues involved. Foods high if fats & cholesterol makes it so the blood doesn't flow as easily through the veins & it causes clots which leads to stroke or heart attacks. Give her some suggestions & be sure you do it along with her so she doesn't feel alienated.

Answer 3

Was she over weight when you met and married her or did it happen after you two got married? She is depressed for some reason or other and is trying hard to fill that space with food. It is a nerves habit that she has picked up. Some people eat and some people cry and some people do both. I do both. I am gaining weight my self. I have to watch what I eat, but your nerves will do crazy things to you. And the more you talk to her about her weight gain is going to push her more that way. Just start having healthier foods at home to eat for your meals and for snacks as well. And pay a lot of GOOD attention to her, do things with her, let her know how much you LOVE her.

Answer 4

She uses food for other reasons instead of fueling her body. It is hard to get away from that kind of addiction. She is using food for comfort or some other emotional issue. You cannot stop her she has to want to do it on her own. Plain and simple tell her that you do not like buffets and you refuse to go because they make you sick and all the utensils they use have people germs on them and they probably havent washed thier hands before they touched them. Tell her you are wanting to start to eat right so you will feel better. Tell her that the eating out is making you sick and you want to start eating good homecook meals that are low in fat. Act as though the idea is for you hopefully that will help some.

Answer 5

I'm right there with you pal! My wife hit 275 and I'm like uuuh when does this ride end? Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly. She's more than my wife but a best friend. We end each others thoughts and are usually thinking the same things at the exact same second. That's a bit annoying actually but shows you how close we are. I bring up the over weight and she dives into depression. So my advice... love her the way she is. Thick or thin doesn't matter she is still the same inside. That's the one I fell for anyway. It also helps that despite her over weight, she is still the most beautiful women around.

Answer 6

Oh, what a touchy subject.

Both of you join a gym and go together. Make sure she works out in a way that will help her lose weight.

You cook healthy meals for both of you.

You do the grocery shopping and don't buy any junk food.

Don't take her out to buffet dinners; instead make a romantic meal at home.

You never have to tell her a thing, but it will require some work on your part.

Answer 7

This is such a tough question, I know.

What I would suggest is to compliment her on the things about her you love. Tell her she looks good. Ask her if she's lost any weight. "Honey, have you been losing weight or something, you have been looking really good lately?" She will enjoy this compliment so much that she will work harder to keep it coming. This may inspire her to actually work towards it.

I don't suggest doing what someone else up there said and talking about other women. When I have troubles with my husband, ESPECIALLY if it's insecurities about another woman, I am driven to eat...because I'm depressed.

Depression makes us eat. That's why I think the opposite should work for you.

Good luck!

Answer 8

The hardest thing for someone to do is lose weight, especially when the people they are married to or live with still except to eat the same things they've always eaten. It is very difficult for someone to cook one way for their family and then eat another way for themselves - not to mention expensive. If you really want your wife to lose weight, you should suggest to her that the both of you start eating healthier. Ask her to bake or grill instead of fry. Ask for salads instead of potatoes and bread. Simple things like that make a big difference, but you cannot expect her to do it on her own!

Answer 9

This is one of those things you have to be real careful about because you don't want her to feel more insecure which could lead to more eating. Ask her to go work out with you one day or tell her you are thinking about joining a gym and if she would like to do it together. If that doesn't seem to work, sit her down and tell her how important it is for you to have her the rest of your life and that her eating habits scare you....and you don't want to lose her..

Answer 10

I hear ya'. My husband is obese and I'm very slim and I hate that he has let himself "go". He used to be sexy and I was very attracted to him when we first met. Now we have two kids and I understand that it's hard to put as much effort into what you look like but I keep myself up for him and for myself, too. I've keep my weight down (after 2 kids, no easy task!), fix myself up, wear nice clothes, etc. but he has gained so much weight, barely shaves, rarely gets a haircut, has diminshed personal hygeine, etc. and I hate it. I really love my husband. He's my best friend and I am attracted to him emotionally and intellectually but not much physically. Plus, I really worry about his health and if he's going to leave me a widow with 2 young kids.

Anyway, I've been honest with him and I know it hurts but honesty is a good policy. I've told him I'll go to the gym with him and do our yearly physicals together to get diabetes, heart tests, and cholesterol tests, but to no avail. He keeps eating McDs, soda, and fries. I would never divorce him b/c of his wieght but I do feel myself being pulled in other directions.... if you know what I mean...