What do you think about black and white relationships, think it can work?

Question

I am married to a black man and we have a son, but people seem to say that one day we gona split up cuz we came from different backgrounds. We are happy and I dont listen to them but just wanna know if its a common opinion

Answer 1

First of all the reason they keep saying it will not work is not so much as difference in back ground as it is PEOPLE!People don,t accept it as well as one race marriage...thats where your problems will come from the most,the stares,and whispers etc...I agree that it will not be as easy for you as if you had married in your own race but if you two love each other and ignore the negitive than it will be fine.....Yes I think it can work but it will be somewhat harder for you,but that does not mean you can,t overcome .personally I am not prejudgest,but a lot of whites and blacks are,and these are the ones you will have to overcome.we are all taught from birth,both black and white that it is taboo to marry a white or black,now its just plain out of your race...If you are happy and you have a son,just cling to each other and don,t let all the negitive affect you, you cannot control other people and what they think,but you can control how you let them affect you....I do hope you have the support of both your family and his,if so it will be much better for you.I can understand what u r going through because i have a friend and she is mexican and her daughter fell in love with a black man and had a son also,that poor girl went through Hell from her family,always calling him names etc,and it broke them up,so thats why you need support from your families and thats a very good start right there....My sister married a mexican and my daddy sent her a peso every christmas(very tacky) but she has been married to him for 27 years and we all love him,but older people are very prejudgest....Im white and I never allowed my parents attitude rub off on me....We are all Gods children so just hand in there and stay strong..Good luck sweetie

Answer 2

It depends upon the people involved, if they're committed to one another, respectful and can rise above cultural differences (and there are bound to be SOME...at least usually). There are also cultural differences between people from different parts of the country, such as North and South; look at how Southerners hate Kerry and trash his being a liberal from Mass.!

Though these differences CAN be and HAVE been overcome, sometimes they're not. I once dated a guy from Jamaica, who thought it was fine for HIM to see other women, but not for me to see other guys! Double standard, which yes, can happen anywhere, but seemed very strong here. It's not so much race as it is cultural (what country you're from).

I worked with a woman from Barbados who said the men in her country are VERY sexist and feel that women have few rights. I don't think that would sit well w/too many American women, regardless of their race!

Similarly, I also dated 2 Israelis, years ago, both of whom had similar, oppressive attitudes about women (they were Conservative Jews, not Reformed). However, Jewish men I knew in the U.S. were very enlightened and non-sexist.

My point is that, it's not a Black/White thing, but varies from culture to culture and is more of a man/woman thing! One constant I've found is that, no matter where you go or what color your skin is, most men are USUALLY still about 20-30 years behind the times (at least!), as far as relationships go!

Frankly, I think Black/White couples who are politically alike are MUCH more likely to make it work than people of the same race, but have different politics.

In grad school, I did a secondary study on the views of men toward women working, based on many variables (race, sex, religion, age and so on) and the BIGGEST determiner of how liberal a man was likely to be was EDUCATIONAL LEVEL. The more educated, the more liberated, regardless of race, religion, etc.

Answer 3

I hope you think it can work. If two people love each other, it makes no difference.

Besides, relationships have many colors. There is blood red..usually arising from issues concerning the color money green. ;)

Don't worry what others say. Let's say two 'white' people were in a relationship. One may be from Germany and one from South Africa. Those are two different backgrounds, but it doesn't mean the relationship won't work.


Learn to embrace differences not reject them. You and your husband have gained something , not lost. You now have different cultures to learn about and at times, practice.

Answer 4

Yes it can work. The one thing about most interracial couples is the fact that their relationship will be judged/tested more often by "outsiders" as unacceptable, not right, what have you.

I feel if they can fight through those challenges then they can/will have a stronger bond than most couples.

As far as backgrounds they (those people you speak of) need to get out a little more often. Backgrounds have nothing to do with color, ethnic heritage..etc. I had Caucasian and Hispanic friends right there in the SAME hood with me growing up under the same conditions, so that kills their claim about different backgrounds killing interracial relationships of any kind.

What kills me is when people talk smack about interracial couples, yet their home and/or relationship status is a complete train wreck.

Answer 5

It is a common opinion because most people feel that these couples were joined together because of an infactuation or a hatred for their own race. I believe if you go into a relationship with any kind of self hate, no matter what color you are, it definitely will crumble.

Answer 6

I think I am tired of people seeing colors! If you love someone or are attracted to someone that is all that should matter. Unfortunately, we live in a world of racist ignorance and so you will have the pressure of people causing problems big or small but I say go for it!

Answer 7

It will work as long as you both continue to love and respect each other. Don't listen to those people that say those things. Your marriage is between you and your husband. You are the only ones who can determine whether your marriage succeeds or fails.

Answer 8

There are alot of bi-racial relationships out in the open today. If you are happy together and raise your son to be educated in both races then god bless and good luck to you all.

Answer 9

it can in some situations, but not the majority. I have a n niece who had a zebra ,I mean a kid by one,didn't take him long to get lost. Found out he had 2 others around,and then caught another dumb gal again. when they gonna learn??? He pays no support either.

Answer 10

of course it can work. those people are ignorant. anyone from different backgrounds can ending up not working, if your husband is white and grew up in a trailer park and you didnt it might not work you know? you guys will be fine! : )