why would she kill herself over this?

Question

this girl i knew back in highschool killed herself thursday night i guess
i've talked to her a quite a few times since high school but we were never really in the same crowd cuz i was a shallow guy in high school and didn't talk to her because i thought she was ugly

but i got to know her after high school and we've talked a lot in the last 4 years since then
but a lot of my friends were still teasing her i guess because she killed herself because of it her sister found her journal to see if there were any clues about her wanting to kill herself today and told me about it when i went over to see what i could do for them

i guess a lot of guys were making fun of her calling her ugly and telling her she looked like a guy and telling her she should live in sewers... well it said that in her journal anyway

i just dont understand why she would let shallow ppl bother her to the point to killing herself when she told me she didn't let it bother her in high school...

im kinda ignorin my friends at the moment too for being a 5 5 holes to one of the nicest girls i've ever met

she also seemed fine, she came to my house wednesday to watch a movie with me and she was so happy and bubbly and her sister told me that she never mentioned to her that she was depressed and she never said anything about it to her friends.

but she told me she loved me before she left though but i didn't think anything of it, maybe i should have thought of it more since she never says that stuff

Answer 1

Unreal, absolutely unreal!

What gave any of you the right! The right to destroy her world and any hope she had in herself. When a mob of people have that mob mentality and all of you were chipping away at who she thought she was or wasn't, you may as well have served her death to her personally. Not everyone has a hard shell or family support to sustain them through the storms, like having all of you daily destroy who she was.

I hope all of you sleep well at night and when you finally grow up, if you do, you will remember the words when your child comes home from school seeking comfort in your words, dad, why does *** say I am ugly, dad, am I? You better have the right answers and then you remember a young woman whose life was taken at the hands and words of all of you.

Nothing to say to you to comfort, I guess this is where if the shoe fits you can wear it and the guilt that comes with it.

Answer 2

what a sad story...

lesson learned - teasing other people, making fun o of them and all that crap hurts badly. The hurt ones don't show it, they are already sad enough.

The last time I made fun of someone is really long ago and he was such a depressed boy after that I felt really bad. So I decided to become a better person and never ever do this again.

Maybe for her, in her memory - you also could do something nice for the people around you who are getting teased? The people who are not the prettiest or are right out ugly? The ones who are the weakest, the obese, the stupid ones?
I try to....just because since then (that boy) I want to remedy the pain, give them a moment of "feel good" a little spark.

And - I have a friend who is a great example. He welcomes everyone and respects everybody, never excludes new people. Never making fun of any weak ones. He himself is a strong and great looking guy always in the center of attention. He is my role model for how to treat people right.
Would all people be like him your friend would still be around.

Answer 3

Take this from a person who was teased throughout her entire elementary and high school life.
I don't know how many friends she had, but when all you're told is how ugly and worthless you are, and you have no friends to tell you otherwise, there's nothing else for you to believe. You really start thinking that you MUST be ugly and worthless. Why else wouldn't anyone want to be around you?
And then you start feeling worse and worse, and you have no one to turn to. And even if you do, you're still afraid on the inside that they'll turn on you, or they're tricking you.
No, I've never attempted suicide. But the thoughts have been there. Things have improved a lot since those years, but I still remember them clearly. They're tough.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what I said was depressing, but I hope that maybe it'll help you understand a bit more. Good for you that you don't let peoples' shallow comments change your perception of yourself.

Answer 4

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. Please make sure you surround yourself with supportive, positive people now. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty. This was her decision, and if a person truly wants to end their life, they'll find a way.
To answer your question: I believe your friend believed she was what everyone told her. Once someone has been told something repeatedly, it starts to sink in, and can be hard for the person to not believe.
Many people who feel suicidal feel happy once they decide to 'go through with it.' They feel like everything will be all right once they're dead, so that could be why your friend seemed happy.
I also think it's possible your friend suffered from depression. Sometimes, people with depression don't want to confide in others because they don't think those around them will understand just how bad they feel, and they'll hear, "Just quit whining..."
I hope I can help you understand and make the best of a tough situation.

Answer 5

I do not understand suicide, even though my brother 'did himself in' a few months ago. He was nearly 50. But he's been saying suspect remarks since a teenager, you just never know when the burden they carry will become intolerable to bear.I know what his burden was, and not hers, but I'm convinced it is not just 1 thing, it's years of failing yourself, not reaching your dreams, not fighting back, subverting the hurting and the mental anguish, pretending it doesn't matter. It is something every person they knew, including family, failed to comprehend, failed to allay, didn't care enough about."If only" we had done differently, been more available, found the miracle that could heal them ... another very good reason why we are not God.

Answer 6

Your friend needs psychiatric help so you need to inform her parents of her intentions and let them deal with the problem.You are not responsible for her actions or feelings she is and needs to accept this by telling you of her intentions she is passing all the stress over to you which is wrong and she is obviously crying out for help. If you are unable to discuss this with her parents then you must inform the police of what you know so they are aware of her intentions.She needs serious help for her depression also as this is causing her to have a negative and dangerous thought process.If she is that good a friend maybe you can inform her directly of the consequenses of killing someone and herself and maybe you could encourage her to visit gp asap.

Answer 7

actually it probably did bother her its just she didnt tell you it. and dont say there was no reason to commit suicide because you dont know what went on in her head. and she might have thought nobody likes me it would be better if i was dead. and you a shallow person would never know what its like to be teased you should be ashamed. also you should find out about the family because it could also be because of that. the last thing i can say is pray for her soul

Answer 8

WOW people do weird things. Sometimes things get out of control for us. Maybe she could have been dreaming of people calling her ugly and even in her sleep she couldn't get away from it so the quickest way to get rid of was to kill herself. But that is a terrible way to get rid of the problem because people will miss her. She could have gone to counseling and got it out. But that is my opinion.

Answer 9

I had a coworker kill himself a few years back, the last day I worked with him he was unusally nice. Sometimes it comes as a shock.

Answer 10

Bottom line is we all want to be liked, have friends, loved even, and when someone is rejected and ridiculed enough and sees themselves as ugly losers with no perceived support the pain and discomfort is such that they want out ........