I have the hots for someone else...what should I do?
2006-11-04 12:11:00 · 34 answers · asked by yakimablueyes 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
having the experience of being on both sides of the 'affair fence'... I have a few questions to pose #1 are you ready for your marriage to end? #2 is finding out if the guy has the hots for you and becoming involved in an affair going to really work out in the long run... IS IT WORTH IT?
I was married... had an affair (for emotional reasons cuz the sex at home was great!) my marriage ended.... I didn' t end up with the 'love of my life'......
And to top it off have fallen in love and been involved in another affair only now am the other woman..
YOU SHOULD BE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS!
2006-11-04 12:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by who me? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you said you have the "hots" for someone,you didnt say you think you are in love so that is a good thing.Try to focus on keepingyour marriage together because the choices you make are forever and your life will be forever changed as welland remember this ...the grass isnt always greener,it may just seem that way to you right now.
2006-11-04 13:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is your husband good you and do you love him..can you see your self spending the rest of your life with him.. if the answer is yes you need to sit back and think of what you may be lacking ...it is more attention from your husband or more commucation.. if so try to open up those lines again with him.. if on the other hand you dont love him then you need to make a choice .. but remember just cause you have the hots for this man he may not feel the same way and if he does it may just be a sexual thing for him and once he get what he wants he may move on to the next in line and then where will you be ..just think carefully and take your time.. you dont want to make a mistake that will haunt you a life time
2006-11-04 12:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont cheat on your husband for one! come out and tell him that u have intrest in someone else divorce him and then go after the guy u want but remember what goes around comes around and if u have the hots for some other guy that guy might end up having the hots for someone else
2006-11-04 12:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm in your same position. I love my husband but we're human and often we find others attactive too. If you really love your husband, just admire from afar, think sexy thoughts in your mind, and have wild crazy sex with your husband.
If you're willing to go on an adventure and pay the price if you're caught (divorce), then I say, go for it. Have fun with someone new and guess what, if you don't get caught.... you've had a lot of fun...
2006-11-04 13:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by Falina T. Rayon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see...you are married, and I would think your husband might expect you to be something other than an irresponsible mass of hormones. Be adult and at least tell your husband you want to be unfaithful.
But, before you jump out there and get what can only be a temporary dose of fun, ask yourself if you really want to be this way. How will you feel about yourself later?
2006-11-04 12:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband...honestly...it will hold you accountable. I acknowledge that this is a real problem and probably happens in every marriage (has in mine for both hubby & I) you need to turn your attention away from this other guy and if necessary, remove yourself from temptation (yes, even if it means changing jobs/houses/gyms)...it will destroy your marriage and it's not worth the pain your selfishness will cause. If you want to go for it, have the decency to get divorced first.
2006-11-04 13:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband about it.
If you respect your marriage and he does as well you guys can use it as a growing experience. If you aren't happy then this is your mind trying to tell you that you want something else. Either way, you should be upfront with your husband!
My husband chose to act on his lust instead of being honest with me. I would have understood had he told me from the beginning. Hell, I prolly would have allowed him a "free pass" but he lied and to me, that is harder to forgive! Hope this helps...
2006-11-04 13:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away 4rm this other person you are married for better or worse remember,obviously there is something going on with you to be looking else where,sit down and work out what is really going on with yourself.Good Luck
2006-11-04 12:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by wizardalli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should think about your marriage before making any moves. think about why you have the hots for this guy and not your husband. think about what you've built with your husband and think about why you vowed to be with him, to honor and cherish.
if its that your relationship isnt the same how it used to be and want to end it by cheating on him, then i think you should at least give your husband the respect he needs and tell him truthfully that you are attracted to someone else and that you cannot stay true to your marriage. that way you didnt put him in shame by cheating on him. if you tell him before hand and decide on divorce, then i think its fine that you follow through with your "hots for another".
best wishes.
2006-11-04 12:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋