never be home and end up having a long term affair?
2006-11-04 11:54:26 · 22 answers · asked by who me? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(I'm not the wife in this situation)
2006-11-04 11:58:52 · update #1
Because he wasn't really happy at home to begin with and is just lying about it.
2006-11-04 11:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answers that i have read so far range from the naive to the ridicules. it is entirely possible for a man to love his wife and family and still seek the attention of another woman or women,
especially younger women. a man is naturally polyarmous. just imagine if you would eating your favorite food 4 or 6 times a day. how long would it take you to cut that down to once a day to once a week to once a month and so on until the desire for it would diminish completely. not a good comparison because the need for sexual gratification never actually goes away. the desire for a particular woman however does. after a long enough period of time the touch that once excited now has little effect. if this were not true a man would get an erection every time he went to the restroom. sex on the side is exciting and different and makes a man feel alive and more like a younger man. he gets the response from the illicit lover that he used to get from his wife before sex for her became the same old, same old. after a number of years sex become more like work and less pleasurable for most married couples. this sexual frustration exacerbates other common issues that normally would not be sources of irritation.
it used to be a common, accepted practice for men that had been married for long periods of time to visit prostitutes. this provided wives with a relief from their marital duties. that was back before women were supposed to enjoy sex.
the fact that this man has not left his wife and maintain a secret relationship indicates he still has feelings for his wife. he is comfortable with his home and his lifestyle and does not want to give it up. all relationships are based on mutual benefits. if the mistress in this triangle is happy and is receiving a benefit from her relationship with the man it works for them. if the wife gets what she needs from the man it works for them. some of these types of arragnements are often known about but rarely spoken of. what i do not understand about the way most women think is why they would want to change their lives, if they are happy, if their spouse has sex with another woman. it is just sex it is not a commitment like the one he made when he married her. would a wife get mad and divorce a man that she caught masturabating? essentially that is what men are doing with women that they have sex with but do not love.
2006-11-04 13:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by handyman5218 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why he is happy at home he has a wife at home and gets it and a place to stay and have an affair and get it so why not be happy till you get caught then you feel like the low down that you are if you cheat.
2006-11-04 11:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you put a detail in your question? it is not precise. The way i understand it,, a man said he is happy at home but he is coming home and have a long affair outside marriage.... If it is, this man wants to cover his mischief pretending to be a contented husband and father. He don't want others to know he is having other woman in his life. He is projecting to be an ideal family man - a good husband, a good father, maybe a good provider. He is a trash in a society!
2006-11-04 13:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by jane u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a young man or woman first engages in sexual behavior its often requires sneaking around behind the backs of his and her parents. Encounters in cars, in homes when the folks are away, at friends houses are common. Frankly for many the sneaking can become part of the excitement of sex. Later when the relationship is well underway a way of capturing the same sort of excitement is sneaking around behind their loved ones back. Unfortunately its not until they get caught that they ever feel the real pain of having hurt the loved one.
My advice is to make sure the he knows how badly you've been hurt. Make sure he is truly remorseful before you consider forgiving him. But don't summarily break up with him. Humans make mistakes, sometimes big ones, and forgiveness is healing for both of you. But be sure to make it clear to him that if he ever repeats this, you're through with him, and follow through on that it he ever cheats again.
2006-11-04 12:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by prentisr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think he says that so he doesn't have to make any hard choises. Who does he say that to the wife or the girlfriend? He may like the fact he never has to be home until he wants to and knows the wife will always be around.
2006-11-04 12:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by krs451960lovesnlc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's not telling the whole truth. He might be perfectly happy, as long as he can be happy in his longterm affair too. He is afraid of talking about not being happy in certain aspects, and wants to avoid talking about that. It is called lying, and is quite dishonest. He wants to have his cake and eat it, but clearly you've found out, so no more cake for him. Dump him.
2006-11-04 12:01:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jaco K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he was lying about being happy at home and he's a little boy who wants the benefits of being married, but still wants to live the single life.
2006-11-04 11:57:10 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God, the reasons are endless:
1. He's weak
2. He's really not happy
3. Wants to prove he's a guy
4. Excitement
5. No moral fiber
6. A lady that just wouldn't give up on him
7. Sex addict
8. Paid for it
9. you need any more??
2006-11-04 12:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question - very limited information but it's obvious he was (is) not happy at home for some reason.
If you want better answers, you need to provide a lot more specific information.
2006-11-04 11:57:38 · answer #10 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋