She is a wreck, crying all the time. She says she is angry and hurt. She suspected he was cheating, but never imagined it was anything serious. Right now she is on the phone crying. I suugested that she get professional help as soon as posible; I am willing to take her. But right now she only wants to be cry and talk...
I am very sad for her, and i don't know what to do.
2006-11-04 11:17:33 · 15 answers · asked by Dulcinea 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So many nice answers. thank you. My friend is calmer now, on Monday I will take her to a professional. She agreed on getting help. I know time heals, and I know she will feel better. My intention is not to humiliate her by posting her problem. I was very upset too, and seeing her like this breaks my heart. It has been a hard week for her and all the persons who love her. Luckily she is not alone, her sister is with her right now. I feel calmer too.
2006-11-04 12:49:16 · update #1
It was hard choosing one answer from all the responces I received. The person that suggested going out "clubbing" made me smile amid all this sad situation. Thanks again for your empathy and humanity.
2006-11-04 21:41:34 · update #2
Right now just try to comfort her. It's lilke they broke up all over again and now she is re-living it. She now knows the truth and it hurts. Let her go on and cry for now. The tears will stop. Encourage her to move on. Therapy was an excellent suggestion. Taking her to see a professional will help to release you from your sadness. While letting her now that you support her. Good luck to you and your friend.
2006-11-04 11:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by msladykm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Youre probably doing the only thing you can do for her; just being a friend and listen. Professional help will only work if shes willing and wanting it. Shes probably right on his cheating and he must have remarried the second the divorce was registered. She could cause trouble on the timing of his marriage as the license had to be filed for when he was still married to your friend, probably lying to the state, but nothing much would be gained by it. It will take some time for your friend to overcome this and there is no special formula or magical words to help ease her pain, but she definitely doesnt need to keep on dwelling about him. She needs to accept its over and shes better off without this guy and needs to move on to a better life. She needs to get involved into something to get her mind off this. Good luck
2006-11-04 19:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. You are listening to her and giving her a shoulder to cry on. You recommended professional help, which should include seeing her family doctor who may be able to give her something to calm her down enough to get help. It is sad, but beyond what you have suggested, that's all you can do. Don't give her too much of your ear, as it can be very draining emotionally. Be there for her but allow yourself to pull away for your own mental health.
2006-11-04 19:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do for her as her friend is let her cry. She needs to go through a grieving process, and it's only been a month since their divorce. She lost the most meaningful relationship in her life, and even if she wanted the divorce, it's hard to see your lover marry somebody else. I feel so bad for her, and hopefully you can help her through this.
2006-11-04 19:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Teresa G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are already doing the best possible thing by just being there.
Her pain will continue for some time, and there will be phases of denial about it, anger, depression, and ultimately acceptance, just like any other period of grief.
What she needs is to maintain a brightness of hope that on the other side of this dark period, there is something worth finding, and that God and you will stand by her as she walks through the shadowlands back into the light.
May his blessings be upon you as you walk with your friend.
2006-11-04 19:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by HeartSpeaker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think YOU should be posting YOUR FRIENDS prob's on yahoo answers. She might not want her marriage problems to be all over for the world to see. She came to you, not yahoo answers. Crying is the best way to get over something or someone. Sometimes when I'm sad I Liston to the same some over and over because it says how I'm feeling and it just makes me cry and cry and cry. But in the end it feels really good to get it all out. If he is already getting remarried then he was cheating but its over and there is nothing she can do but move on. Just be a good friend and be a shoulder for her to cry on. She will come around and one day she will see that this guy was a jerk and was not worth her time. She will move on just give her time.
2006-11-04 19:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The only thing you can do is offer her support. My dad did the same thing to my mother. It nearly killed her. My family stuck together and helped her through it. It has been four years and she still has bad days, but overall she is content. If she is really going down hill she should talk to a counselor. They are very helpful at putting things in perspective. Let her know that she is not to blame. Help her find closure.
2006-11-04 19:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by ecp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds absolutely awful for your friend. That is like a nightmare on top of a nightmare. The only thing you can do for her right now is listen. She probably doesn't want to hear your agree with her by saying he is a loser or a jerk. She probably doesn't even want to hear that her inclinations of him cheating are correct. She probably only wants to hear positive things like (even if you don't believe it) he may have not been cheating...she is dealing with enough right now with the divorce; she doesn't need to deal with troubles in her (old) marriage.
2006-11-04 19:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jax 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can be a kind and thoughtful friend but please don't allow your friend's emotions to drag you down with her. She needs professional help and she needs to find a way to get on with her life in spite of her deep disappointment. Continue to be a loving friend but don't forget to take care of your own personal needs and desires.
2006-11-04 19:38:07 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good friend.
It's a crummy situation. But really, there's nothing to be done except heal over time. Revenge won't help her move on.
Counseling may help her.
2006-11-04 19:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋