ime drinking myself t death lost my dad in may i found him he had c.o.p.d cant seem t get my head over?

Question

my step dad died 4 wks after i married my lomg term partner of 17 yrs .cant go t bed without having a drink just cant sleep, my eldist son is nearly 20 he has cerable palsy and has kive with my mom since he was 1 .his dad hung his self in my house when he was one. i no its bin a few years now but i just cant seem t get on the right track, never had counciling after wot happened but finding my step dad seems t have bought it all back please help me

Answer 1

First thing stop drinking because thats just an excuse and you don't need other problems down the road.

My mom told me she found her own father in the kitchen dead after choking on his own mucus from c.o.p.d and she never sat around and dweeled on it, as a matter of fact she was the most gracious person I ever met at accepting death even her own January 2005. We all die and a few lucky will die in our sleep but if we are decent we will be missed. Death is the sadness thing on earth but everyone must go through this to get to the better place. My father died Feb. 2002 and if he can do it then anybody can.He was afraid. I cherish and celebrate my loved ones and remember the good things that made me smile.That is what they would want me to do. Is there anyone you would want to see hurting like you are when you go?? Then stop doing it to yourself.

Answer 2

Been there myself.

I lost my father, then I lost my wife and kids. I had no idea where she was. I started drinking pretty heavily.

Then I lost my health (died on the ER table and was revived), then I lost my career. This all happened within 6 months.

I absolutely had nothing and felt like life was over, and drink some more I did.

I also remember some horrible crap i have been through in the military.

But, now i enjoy keeping my bird feeders full and watching them, I enjoy fishing, hunting, the sunsets and sunrises, i enjoy doing stuff that make others smile, I am always helping people when they are broke down, etc etc.

We do make a HUGE difference in the world and in other peoples lives. Sometimes all it takes is a hi or a smile and that may seem little to us, but to some, it really means the world to them.

I think you can get through this. Just step outside of the box and look inside and see just how wonderfull life really is.

I am only 38, been through hell a few times and now I am on top of the world.

Answer 3

sounds like you are having a sh-t time, good stuff is you seem to have a good relationship if you have been with your partner for 17 years and then married. You have a mom who obviously cares and looks after your son,
There has been some tragic events in your life and you are at least lucky to have the above 3 people to love and love you back, think about going to counselling it really can help ~ look at why you are drinking so much, were you drinking before you found your step dad? if not you are still at an early stage of drinking and would be easier to stop.
I wish you luck and hope you find peace in the near future

Answer 4

Well, My condolences to you and yours! I lost my dad in July of 05. He was only 58! I am 26 and have 2 older sisters and 2 younger brothers. The death of a loved one is very hard to deal with. However, life does come to an end sometime. I have learned to accept my fathers death, unlike my brothers and sisters. My brother is in jail, my other brother is strung out on drugs, and my 2 sisters and I don't speak. We used to be close, but when my dad passed..everything went to poop! I am married to my husband (been together for 6 years married for 2) we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter together. I have not let my fathers death stop me from achieving my goals. You really need to get yourself together, try attending some support groups, or counseling. If you don't your life could come to an end soon! (My dad drank alot and finally everything just started shutting down) If there is anything that I can do to help just let me know! I am more than willing to help someone, even if you just need someone talk to, I am here!!!!! Please think about yourself and your child(ren)!

Best of luck to you!!!

Answer 5

Self medicating your emotional hurts with alcohol will never work.

You need help. There is no nice way to say it.

The only thing that alcohol changes is how others view you and react to you. You have obviously been ignoring issues for an 18 year period, and then everything in between that has probably gone wrong.

Go get help No one can do it for you, you have to want it.

You can't blame yourself for what others do, and you can't use others as an excuse for what you do.

It is obvious you are hurting, sometimes in order to stop falling, you have to let go and grasp onto some hope beyond your own thinking.

Answer 6

Go to your doctor and ask for some councelling, hitting the bottle is not the answer that will just give you another problem in life. You have had a tough time, but be strong enough to sort your life out only you can do it. Talk to your mum or someone close to you, you need help and understanding but not alcohol.

Answer 7

go to a clinic for alcohol and ask if they have an inpatient program. stay with it until you are sober. it will be the hardest thing you have ever done but you are a parent and a spouse now and until you take care of yourself you can't be there for anyone. you are important and worthwhile even though your self esteem is so down right now as a result of all the trauma you have suffered. until you learn real coping methods and dealing with all the loss you have had, you will reach for the bottle which is your primary relationship right now. you are worth it. get help

Answer 8

You need to get counseling, you need someone to talk to, that can help you with your emotional difficulties. I lost my mom at 7yrs, raised my younger siblings on my own and was raped repeatedly for four years by my uncle and grew up in the hell whole of the foster care system, counseling helps and understanding that it's not your fault what other people do helps too. You said you were married you have that person to help and support you but you have to help yourself first. good luck.

Answer 9

I really think you need to talk to a professional about this. When i lost my dad it took me a very long time to get over it and even though it's been almost 4 years i still have my off days. Time does eventually heal

Answer 10

There's no easy answer except a trite "stop drinking". It will pass but it will take time. In my very slightly similar case, it took 18 months. Best of luck and remember your son needs you so much.