I'm 4.5 months pregnant. (I only look 3 months preg.) My sex drive is off the charts. I want sex more often with my husband. I try to give him hints, such as dressing as sexy as I can being 4 months pregnant or when laying in bed pass my hand all over his chest, belly, and around his waistband (I think that puts him to sleep, he says its relaxing). We do once every week or week and a half. Honestly thats not enough for me, But I dont want to come right out and tell him, to where he'll feel obligated to do it every night or everyother night. I want him to want me too and not be forced to have to want me. Understand what I'm saying....
My question is: What other things can I do to get him to have sex with me more?
Does he look at me weird now that I'm pregnant?
(keep in mind this is my 3rd pregnancy, I'm not over weight, I'm 5'4 weighing 118. You cant really tell I'm pregnant. He's never had a problem before having sex with me while pregnant.)
Any suggestions?
2006-11-04 09:48:26 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay, so here's the problem -- Guys don't "do" hints. (Neither do gals, for that matter, but that's not your question. :-) Here's what you do... Dress in your slinkiest nightgown that still fits (sounds like your small enough that's not a problem), sit him down on a couch when the other kids are in bed, take his hands in yours, and tell him something like this:
"Honey, I don't know what it is, but I just want you ALL THE TIME these days. I've tried to give you hints but I guess I'm being too subtle, so here it is, straight out: I want you. I want you now, I'll probably want you in the morning, I may want you tomorrow night and the night after that and I'm thinking about getting a sitter for the weekend so I can have you all day Saturday. So whaddya say... there'll be a few weeks after the baby comes that we won't be able to do much of anything, so how about getting some while the getting is good?"
Then PLANT one on him -- put one hand behind the back of his neck, pull his face down towards yours and kiss him, hard and deep and passionately. (You should be able to figure out what to do with your other hand if this is your third pregnancy... :-)
So here's the thing. We're sort of in the opposite boat here -- our last pregnancy was ten years ago, and at this point in our lives, I'm the one with the higher sex drive and my wife is the one who really needs it only about every week to ten days. What do we do? We communicate about it, and we compromise. Some days she's really just not feeling up to it (she's had a year full of health issues that haven't helped), so we'll just lie in bed and hold onto each other those nights and I'll try to make her as comfortable as I can. Some days she's feeling okay, doesn't particularly need sex but is quite willing to help ME out in a way that she enjoys, even if she isn't in need of a climax herself. And some days she makes it clear to me that she really would like to be taken all the way to the end of the road.
But the point is, we are always communicating about where we are in our respective cycles. If I'm feeling tired but content, I'll let her know I really would love to just lie next to her on the bed and watch TV and stroke each other. If I'm feeling like I really need a sexual release, I let her know. And most important, when she makes it clear she needs to finish... I do whatever it takes to make that happen. (I *love* it when she finishes. It's such a thrill to me.)
...One final observation: Since this is your third pregnancy, there's a slight chance that, er, age may enter into it. (I'm 50, so I've been learning about this.) Around age 40, men begin to lose muscle mass, and this in turn causes their testosterone levels to drop. Testosterone is important for men's sex drives, so it's common for men to begin seeing a lowering of sex drive from the late thirties to their fifties.
The simplest way to correct this is to exercise, specifically to do strength-training with an eye toward increasing muscle mass. I only found out about the testosterone a few weeks ago, but it was one of those lightbulb-going-off moments when I did -- because since I was about 45 or 46 I've noticed that when I work out regularly, I enjoy sex a LOT more than when I'm not. And not just because I'm stronger or more vigorous or have more endurance -- even if I'm just lying back and enjoying my wife's attention, it feels better to be aroused, to be stimulated, and to reach climax. This is entirely consistent with having more testosterone.
So if your husband hasn't been as active lately, this might have something to do with why this pregnancy is different from all your other ones. (And if you guys were married at 19 and had three kids right in a row, this doesn't apply. :-)
All the best!
2006-11-04 13:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
babe, men are the worst when it comes to reading signals. My g/f has gotten to the point sometimes when she wants it, she will be naked or sexy dressed when I get home, push me up against the wall in the hallway and look me in the eyes and say "lick it.... now!" It drives me crazy with lust to see her and hear her talk like that. She gets it whenever she wants it. Just try the direct route and see what happens. Good luck. Oh, and for the record, I think pregnant women look incredibly sexy.
2006-11-04 11:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by burnttoast97 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put on a coat with nothing underneath. When he gets home, push him onto the bed and rip the coat off. Then *cue the music* you-know-what his brains out. He'll want it more after that.
2006-11-04 09:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by Wocka wocka 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was with the mother of my children and she was pregnant it affected me too. I don't know why. I know I won't poke him in the eye or anything, but it just wasn't the same. But things got back to normal after the birth.
2006-11-04 09:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try assembly up with him for a informal date and ask him...head to head pleasant approach to get reply. Give him advantage of the doubt til you recognize for certain. If that had been his lady then she could have both requested "who is that this" or what the F***. If you name and continuously get voicemail I could be worried-that might imply it dont wish to reply if she is there. what do you bought to lose for those who meet him for dinner?
2016-09-01 07:13:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain it to him.
"Honey, I have a problem. I must have you. I would like to have you all the time, but I know that's not always practical. I would like to experiment with a time table that will satisfy me, but won't tire you out. Will you help me?"
(Personally, I am upset. When my wife got pregnant, her libido shut down totally. I respected her request, but I hear tales just like yours. What happened to me?)
2006-11-04 09:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is very common for women to desire sex more during pregnancy due to the hormones, just tell him that you want it. i mean, i dont think any guy will be like "nah, im just gunna go to sleep"
but if he does, they do sell toys for that sort of thing.
2006-11-04 09:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by sobrien 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him your hormones are changing and that you crave sex more, explain to him that it can't hurt the baby, you can look that up on the internet and show him that it can't hurt anything.....you just gotta speak up
2006-11-04 09:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever try the half and half? Hard to not do the second half when the first half is done well.
2006-11-04 12:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit on him, I would seriously like that, no joke.
2006-11-04 09:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋