we have so many things that are wrong in our marriage but the love is still there, atleast for me it is. He walked out because he doesnt have the ability to stand up for his marriage. Therefore I want to move on, let go emotionally, (sexually too) but IM hurt and scared. Any words of encouragment here? how does one let go of an unhealthy relationship that causes a lot of emotional pain?
2006-11-04 09:42:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You deserve so much more than what your husband is giving you. You still love your husband and that will make you want to fight for your marriage but if you are the only one fighting than you are the only one who will lose. He is not willing to stand up and be the husband in this marriage so you need to just let go. It will hurt you a whole lot and you will feel like you have made the wordt mistake of your life but you know you are only doing what has to be done for your own well being. Once you have moved on and found someone who is willing to put the same amount of effort in a relationship as youa re you will see that all the pain that you did endure was for something good to come along.
2006-11-04 09:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to deal with the pain and the hurt if you are going to move on with your life. It is going to be hard, but you can not give up. It may take a long time. Just get out and enjoy yourself. Do things that make you happy and do things that you want to do and need to do. Think about yourself...he obviously did. Eventually in time, you may find someone else. The pain will eventually deminish to the point were it is nonexistant or small enough to bear. Good luck.
2006-11-04 17:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by AmsterF 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a common situation.The only words I have for you are these once told to me and found to be true.
One day you will look back and laugh about how wrong he was for you.Any man who cant stand up for his marriage isnt a man worth having.And being miserable youre entire life is not a life to live.Admit its over.Grieve and get back out there and start over.As soon as you let go you will see things you never saw before and your life will open up to so many things...and maybe someone who has been right there that you just havent noticed because you werent looking.Good Luck!
2006-11-04 17:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by migamw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sound tough, but if he walked out because he can't stand up for the marriage, then he can't stand up for himself. I think it would be best if you just move on and let it all go. It is hard to get over a relationship, but it is healthier to let it go, rather than hang on to something that isn't there. But what ever you do...Don't let him come back!
2006-11-04 17:46:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had some comforting words for you but all I really have to say is that in the long run, you WILL be happier to get out of a relationship that is causing you pain. Well, in any relationship there is and will be pain, but it sounds like yours is ongoing and excessive.
I wish you luck in what ever you end up doing.
2006-11-04 17:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by cwxmas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is another place or state you can go (like with family or something) go and get the heck out of his area... being stuck in a place where you shared all of your moments both positive and negative with that man does not help you move on, it just hurts.... try to move to a place that's far away from him and break off contact as much as possible. It will take awhile to get over him but that will help and you will move on. Good luck
2006-11-04 18:12:41 · answer #6 · answered by kellie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I spent 12 years in a marriage that had it's problems. I used to say, I must still care. He comes back, he must still care. What a Crock!
Why is he needing to stand up for his marriage?
All I know is if it hurts it is not love. PERIOD.
Men do not walk out on their wives if they care. PERIOD.
Is there a mental issue here of some sort? Bi-polar disorder? There has to be more to this..
Good luck. Not trying to sound harsh, but, well, be happy!!!
2006-11-04 17:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Hatem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father told me years ago... you can love many people, but the trick is finding one that you can live with. It is difficult to let go of security, something that you know, even when it's not good. You start by telling yourself every minute why you came to this decision. Then it will become every hour, then every day. Eventually, you find that being without someone that makes you unhappy is actually more secure than being with them.
2006-11-04 17:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by frogsandweeniedogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your husband has ALREADY "let go". I am currently in a very bad place in my relationship. I see this guys flaws, other people see them, I know what I'm in for, yet I stick around. I am a strong, capable, smart woman who made the wrong choice. I think when you're ready to let go, you'll feel it. I start to feel it more everyday... Good luck.
2006-11-04 18:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a communication problem, of you not setting boundaries with him, the boundaries aren't for him, but u. let him know you are hurt, and ask him if he is willing to go to therapy with you, if not than he isn't interested in changes.people tend to look outside theirselves for the reason for the problem,this keeps u a victim.go to therapy for yourself if he won't go. we all are afraid of an uncertin future,afraid to set boundaries because we fear abandonment.sometimes we have to face what we will never get from this person, to let go of what u never had is hard. sometimes we have to see a professional because we can't move on, because we had hopes and dreams, that didn't turn out, and it is very painful.
2006-11-04 17:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋