It is to long to get into here. I basically had an affair for 3 mnths a year ago. We have made it this far. If anyone would care to talk to me feel free and ill do my best to fill you in. I really need some help here peeps please!
2006-11-04 09:08:52 · 11 answers · asked by eyeneeder 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is going to take time for your wife to trust you again, You are going to have a long hard time to show her that you can be trusted. However many marriages tend to get stronger after and event like this. It will not happen overnight, but give it time, show her that you can be trusted with the little things( be on time, do what you say you will, etc) Give her no further reason to believe otherwise and you will get thorugh this.
2006-11-04 09:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be a very long process, that is a pain, that I would never want to go through, by cheating on her you were basically telling your wife, that you did not value your relationship, that you did not love her, and she really has no reason to trust you!! you are lucky she did not leave you, basically. the only way to try to make it better is to, never,ever do anything that might be a little bit suspicous, always spend more time with her, it is time to give up your own space, and everything you do(besides work) you need to invite her along, because I am just telling you, anything you do now,she will be wondering if you are out there cheating and lying to her, was that 3 months worth it?? you took something very special and basically smashed it, and now you want to put it back together again, I doubt your wife will ever feel the same way she did about you!! good luck!
2006-11-04 17:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru this when my ex wife cheated, the trust never came back. I have always felt that if she had leveled with me after she got caught there might have been a chance. But she would only admit to what I could prove and deny all else, later she would have to admit to something she already denied. My advice would be that the next time she brings it up...tell her evrything, warts and all, then ask for forgiveness. How can someone forgive and move on when all their questions havent been answered and they dont know the whole story?
2006-11-04 17:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get an impartial person to mediate between you two and that is where a good marriage councilor comes in. It will take a lot to repair your relationship and your willingness to do what it takes will go a long way in helping. Ultimately it is up to your wife if she can get past this or not and if your relationship is strong enough to withstand the damage done to it.
She is the one with the answers not us hon...however I hope that I was able to help in some way.
2006-11-04 17:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is what I did when I had one. I came clean with my wife and told her it would not happen again. For about a year I did not go any were with out her just to prove that I could keep my word. After that she started to trust me and 8yrs later we are still married. It was a lape in judgement on my part and she understood. For that I am grateful.
2006-11-04 19:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by Stu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
infidelity is never an easy thing a spouse can forgive. you have violated her trust in the worst possible way.your still together and that's a good sign. just show her that you love her and let her know in every way possible that it will never happen again. be very patient. after all, trust is the hardest thing to earn. you are going to have to work hard on getting her to trust you again.she must love you enough that she's willing to give you another chance. give her time to heal. but know this, in time she will learn to forgive you but never will she ever forget.
good luck and all the best to you!
2006-11-04 18:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by gracie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes these things take a long time for people to regain trust in the spouse again. Alot of the time trust cannot ever be regained. Good luck i hope this helps
2006-11-04 17:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by tckk1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus all your attention everyday on her and make sure you go out of your way everyday to let her know that you only love her and only want to be with her,if you do the slightest thing as much as looking at another woman it will rock the boat with you and your wife, but if you do truly love her you wont have any hassles in showing her she's the only one for you.
2006-11-04 22:41:59 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Geez, does your wife know!? I would have left my husband had I found out. I wouldn't ask why? when? where? who? forget it! pack my bags and leave. I give her kudos for her strength of forgiveness. IF she does forgive you. You BETTER love her 100% not even 99% cause your leaving that extra 1% out for trouble. You still are a child of God so don't forget that, have Faith in Love. Much luck to you and be strong!
2006-11-04 23:22:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best advice i can give u is from dr phil, i am going through that... i have been the one whom was cheated on, i'm very hurt and i have to say what dr phil had to say was 100 % on the mark. I will never be able to forgive him and move on until and only until he understands how much pain and hurt he put on me when he was unfaithful.....
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/127
good luck
2006-11-04 17:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by kellie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋