Grad School and Pregnancy?

Question

I am a second year graduate student in a veterinary program. I have been married for 2.5 years to a good man who wants children. I am overcome with the desire to have a baby, but am concerned with having one during grad school. Does anyone out there have advice/ stories to share regarding this?

Answer 1

Yes, I can relate! I was very much pressured by a man a bit older then myself He was ready for it all, and so my story goes on... I don't want to get into the details or try and persuade you one way or the other. Kids are great, but it's near impossible to do it all, once there here. Gpa's slack, study time dwindles and your life takes a new focus. If you think you can handle it all(great) go for it, but reality is something usually gives. And you may find yourself resenting your husband for making you choose. The things we do for love, think long and hard about this....now I have to get back to the books, good luck!

Answer 2

Well all I can tell you is what I've experienced and what I know...children are a blessing. Every child is a gift from God. And the desire to have children is from Him as well. If you both want to start your family, then I think the answer as to what you should do is clear. Grad school will still be there no matter what; but having a baby is not something you will always be able to do. I don't know how old you are but I do know that my husband and I had our first (and only, so far) child after being married for three years. She's five months old now. We freaked out at first, b/c although we didn't use protection and we generally wanted to have a baby, we still didn't expect it when that test did come up positive! :-) No one is ever really ready. If you keep waiting--till you finish grad school, or until you're financially stable, or until a million other things; you'll never get around to having children. We were concerned and worried and everything else, just like you might be...but now that our baby girl is in our lives, we can't imagine life without her. She's the best thing that has ever happened to us as a couple. :-) I think that 2 1/2 years is a good amount of time to be married before having children. But you guys do what you think is best. Having said all of the above, there's absolutely nothing WRONG with waiting till you finish grad. school. I'm just saying that if you do decide to go ahead and try for a baby, and you conceive and have that baby, you will not regret it. You will be bowled over at how much you love that little tiny person who depends completely on you. Good luck and hope this helped a little. :)

Answer 3

One of my best friends started having kids while in grad school and finished her PhD about the time her 2nd child was born. They have two kids (that's the number they wanted). The kids are 11 and 15 now and she's a successful university professor with a job she enjoys and a beautiful family.

When she told me she was ready to start having kids while in grad school, I questioned the sense of taking on so much at once. She calculated her years and said she liked the timing for the long run. She was right.

The alternative is to wait and get all caught up in that "what if I'm too old!!!" problem. Or, you could just wait and wait and miss the chance. I know someone who did that, too. She has been able to adjust, but she's not happy about it.

Answer 4

I don't know how old you are but if you want kids eventually, my one piece of advice is don't believe the celebrity baby stories and be aware that (statistically) your fertility begins its first significant decline at around age 30. No need to panic yet but just something to be aware of, do your own research on this subject.

I have met so many women who only started trying in their late 30s and they feel cheated that "society" told them they could have it all -- career first and then family. They had no idea that their fertility would decline so suddenly and so rapidly. At 29-30 it starts to decline and then at 35 it makes a big drop. Another big drop at around age 37-38 and then you don't even want to know about over 40. So just bear that in mind as you make your future plans. I feel like I owe it to other professional women to make them aware of this because it is not something we are told very much. Even my doctor wouldn't give me a straight answer until I cornered her with very specific questions. I was only 27 at the time but I am so glad I asked those questions because as it turned out, I did have fertility problems and while they were not a result of my age, I am glad that I did the treatments while I was still young enough for the treatments to have a good chance of success. I am 32 and finally pg after 3 years of trying.

Answer 5

I wouldn't wait if you want one. When will the right time ever come. After grad school your excuse will be just starting a new job and then so on and so on. Kids are a blessing and they dont interfere with ur plans on school if you dont let it. I know it can be done. I had my first at 17 and I worked part time..finished highschool and had my own apartment and still went to college. It wasnt easy, but so worth it

Answer 6

IF YOUR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT UNSURE OF HAVING A BABY RIGHT NOW I WOULD WAIT! VERY HARD WORK/TIME CONSUMING! YOU HAVE ALOT OF LIFE LEFT ID FINISH SCHOOL THEN TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOUR HUBBY WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE IM USRE YOU AND HIM WILL BE AWESOME PARENTS GOOD LUCK GOD BLESS !:) LITA