Why do I find it hard to relax around people?

Question

Lets just say I've not had the life I'd want my child to have.

I've moved around alot since I was little, and due to this I have no friends at all. I've grew apart from all my school friends and my college friends. Now I am in a new job I just can't relax with the people I work with. Because of the past I've had, (which I don't want to go in to,) It takes me along time to trust people and finally act my self around them. In my new job people are starting to talk about me saying I'm miserable all the time and I never have a laugh. I just want to be normal and join in but I can't.

Its taken me two years to be totally relaxed around my boyfriend and I wish my work friends would see the side of me that my boyfriend does.

Answer 1

Sounds like there is alot more to the problem then u r saying but i can understand u not wanting to go into it. I have a problem with trust and i tend only to befriend my family i have no friends either but choose not to cause down the track they will only stab u in the back. Good luck.

Answer 2

forget that you don't feel comfortable around other people and tell yourself you are going to have a fresh start. Go into work the next morning feeling confident and let your hair down a bit. Just forget your past, your worries and what other people think about you. Start a conversation with someone, break the ice. Act happy and friendly around people even if you don't feel it, that always goes down well.

Answer 3

Oh you have a %of my boyfriend up - uhh, i'm no longer a kind of stressful obsessed ladies :| back to the question, definite, definite I do. i do no longer communicate basically smile in all probability because of the fact I hate rejection a lot divi does no longer prefer to be exceeded over or sound stupid. i'm a shy individual, way shy different than around human beings i've got faith mushy with. i'm a female, you think of that has to do with something?

Answer 4

i know how you feel, it takes me a long time to come out of my shell around new people, i hate it because most judge you on first impressions, and once they think that you are the quiet loner type they arent really the same to you as they are to everyone else which makes it even harder to be yourself around them, i dont know any solution, i think it just takes time to get used to people, i also have a girlfriend and friends who i am completely myself around, i just moved a couple of months ago and wish i could be like that with everyone i meet, but it just doesnt happen, sorry about the lack of advice, just wanted to let you know that im in kinda the same boat

Answer 5

Okay do this and make sure you never forget this................. look at someone within the circle of people you're either with or will be with and think to yourself what do you expect them to be? - i mean in front of you? do you want them to be funny or just be there talking ...........even non-sensible.........................well if you think ''oh well i don't care what they're like just as long as they're there'' ............... well Hun that's exactly what they'll be thinking about you so do yourself a massive favour ''BE YOURSELF'' and never change for anyone E V E R!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Welcome to adulthood cos most of us are faking it.
No-one has it 100% sorted.
Of course you are going to feel miserable around people who are critisizing-
If they were decent people they would ask you why you can't relax not have a go.
People like that always pick at weaknesses-
Just keep being you and perhaps try counselling-It worked for me.

Answer 7

man i am the same way but i am still only 14 i doesn't take me QUITE as long as you but about a coouple months notify me when you get the answer

Answer 8

I'm the same, takes me ages to be at eas with someone

Answer 9

The feeling of rejection & the unknown.

Answer 10

Your just not a people person