And, is there any way to stop?
I need help figuring out how to stop being defensive all the time; I notice I tend to even be defensive at work.
2006-11-04 09:00:30 · 8 answers · asked by charlie??? 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Yes, this was a problem for me as well.
I have had to learn to keep quiet and just nod, and think about why I disagree to a comment or a statement and then get back to that person later.
The other way I deal with it if I feel I have to reply straight away is to acknowledge what the person have just said, with a comment like, 'good call but what if', 'I see what you mean but I think', 'I understand where you are coming from' before you make your position clear.
It is all about realizing that even a negative comment from a coworker is almost never meant to come across as personal, and when we are under streess misscmmunication can easily happen.
2006-11-04 09:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by atlantisflicka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i have been known to do that, but guess what I don't care what anyone thinks i'm very defensive of being told i'm defensive...So in return I make sure I don't open my mouth unless I have a good counter argument to counter the person....if i don't then i'll probably take 2 hours or even a week to think of a good responce and bring that topic back up and say my answer...and if i don't say it out, my brain is gonnna hurt for a long time....
2006-11-04 09:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by 0_0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been but it turns out that I was.
Do you feel as though your intelligence is in question or perhaps insulted? This is typical at work as that is when your creative juices are flowing. Your work is a product of you and your brain power.
Just lighten up a little and figure out why you could be acting defensive. Get to the root of the problem in order to fix it.
2006-11-04 09:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by mmiller526 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am really defensive, often, and the irony is that I'm quite critical of myself. I guess I can't handle when I think someone else is being critical of me ...
I just really try to take time to process my thoughts more and think before I speak. Usually I get so angry my ears get red, but it is a small price to pay :) good luck.
2006-11-04 09:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by tje 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think before you talk. You must be in a high stress situation, that is causing you to question yourself?? and then to do the same to others. Just trust yourself don't worry to make a mistake and Go with the Flow.....Things should get better for you and no need to defend if you trust yourself! Good Luck!!!
2006-11-04 09:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by tankgirl_84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continual defensiveness can be formed by habit,often used as a avoidance technique..it can stem from a(hidden) low self esteem,shyness,not being sure of yourself,possibly not wanting to take responsibility, a desire to keep people from seeing the real you, deflecting their attention away from yourself ...can be treated successfully
2006-11-04 12:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by Vivian X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That perception of me has gotten me in trouble all my life. (I'm 40). I have found that it is easier to say NOTHING when in an office setting than piss people off.
It's all a matter of control and insecurity - people like us always want to be right, and feel threatened when someone else doesn't take our advice or assistance.
2006-11-04 09:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by kentata 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be more offensive
2006-11-04 09:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by Chris B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋