getting over my shyness?

Question

im 14, and ive been shy almostm y whole life. i was never shyt until i was about 7-ish, but then for sume reason i got shy. durring 8th grade i got over it a little. so now im in 9th grade, and i find it a easier to talk to most people. but there are still some people i find it hard to talk to. i am taking choir, for i think it will help. but im not sure. i alos find it hard to talk to larg groups of people, i will do it if i have to, but i dont like to. and im also naturaly quite. my voice ussualy doesnt get as loud as most peoples.
can anoyone give me some tips to help me get over this shyness of mine? its very troublesome. also, if someone could help with getting my voice louder, cause then i will be heard when i need to be. thank you.

Answer 1

Here are some tips things to keep in mind if you're dealing with shyness.

Learn and practice social skills. People who are shy give themselves fewer chances to practice social behaviors. It's no wonder that people who shy away from socializing don't feel as socially confident as peers who chat it up a lot. Practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, smiling, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Build your confidence this way.
Plan ahead. When you're ready to try something you've been avoiding — like a phone call or a conversation — write down what you want to say beforehand. Rehearse it out loud, maybe even in front of the mirror. Then just do it. Don't worry if it's not perfect (few of the things more confident-seeming peers do are perfect either). Be proud that you gave it a go. Next time, it'll be even better because it will be easier.
Be your own best friend. People who are shy are concerned with how others might judge them. Because they're always tuned in to the possibility of negative judgments, shy people are sometimes pretty judgmental themselves. And the people they're the hardest on? Themselves. Notice the negative judgments you might be making about yourself. Ask yourself whether you'd criticize your best friend for the same things. If not, then treat yourself like your own best friend. Accept yourself with all your imperfections.
Act as if you're not shy. Sound strange? "Acting as if" is a technique that can help you shift into a more self-assured attitude and let you try social behaviors that you don't normally use. Think of people whose social ease you admire and respect. Act as if you were in that person's shoes.
Develop your assertiveness. Shy people are often less assertive, but that doesn't mean they're wimpy or cowardly. Because shy people might be overly concerned with others' reactions to them, they don't want to rock the boat. But this can mean they are less likely to speak up for themselves when they should, ask for what they want when they need to, or tell people when their toes are being stepped on (ouch!). Assertiveness skills can help people find respectful ways of standing up for themselves and build self-respect. Think quiet power.
Focus on your strengths. What do you do best? What qualities in yourself do you feel really good about? Ask your best friend or family members what they think your strengths are, too. When you're in a situation that makes you nervous, think about your qualities and strengths. As with assertiveness, when you feel competent, you feel more self-assured. And your confidence builds.
You're just fine the way you are. We can't change our true inner nature. (And who would want to? If everyone were perfect, we'd all be the same — which means we'd all be pretty bored with each other!) But we can learn outer behaviors, like "acting as if" and confident body language, that help us cope better with the situations we face.

Answer 2

The thing that helped me most:
1. Student Council, if you have some sort of student office at your school, join it. That is the most outgoing club or activity to participate at your school.
2. SPORTS. Join a sports team. Sometimes the smaller ones are better, like Cross Country, because they become your second family.
and
3. Tell yourself you aren't shy. Pretend talking to someone in front of your mirror. It helps, i am telling you. Tell yourself you are confident and give yourself many compliments throughout the day. Oh yeah, make sure you pour compliments over other people too.

Remember: Popular girls aren't mean. Just thought I'd let you know. That's why those teen movies are called dramatic, because they are. Any girl LOVES getting compliments. Flatter yourself, flatter them, then they'll be your friends and having you participate in school spirit days and scream happy birthday at the lunch tables.
Say goodbye to miss shy, hello you!

Hope it helped!

Answer 3

do things that you know you are good at. join school clubs that will make you interact with new people that have the same intresets as you and one in which you will have fun in. then you will make some new friends and become more confidedent in yourself. after that, do crazy stuff(not illegal). random stuff that you wouldent normaly do. the best way to get over being shy is to do stuff that your too scared or shy to do. you can start out small, just saying hi to another person that you sortof know, but wouldent say hi to on a regular basis. or even going to a school party/dance thing and go and dance how you want to dance. even if your the weirdest looking dancer on the floor. start the bunny hop, or a mash pit or the electric slide with a couple of friends and people are sure to join in. go to a football game with some friends and yell your brains out for your team in a crowd of people that are rooting for the other team. most importantly, stand up for yourself. dont let other people push you around. just simple things like going up to people after class and asking for your pencil that you let them borrow, not blowing it off, saying "oh, its just a pencil, it doesnt really mater. they can have it" just cause your too shy to go and get it back.

have fun too.

i really hope this helps.

Answer 4

Let me hit u up with something dawg I was shy too when I was about ur age. Guess what don't let that stop you from what you want in life. Right now I'm 23 yearsold and I'm not shy no more, I always think about how it was in highschool. You know what i regret, not going out with alot girls because I was shy, if I was back in highschool right now and be how I am right now. then It would be different and then I would think too myself, "dam highschool was the tight. You have that chance right now to live that out, DO IT!!!!! trust me because then your gonna be like me thinking, "dam all those things I could have done but didn't cause I was shy"

Answer 5

Hello fellow introvert! Welcome to the world of being different. Please, please, please have your parents go online to somewhere like amazon.com and buy you _The Introvert Advantage_ as well as _The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child_. You will recognize yourself and feel better.

Being an introvert doesn't always mean being shy. They actually mean different things. Being an introvert means that your energy is calm, quiet and serene, that your energy naturally returns to you, and you are often in your own head. You like some people, not a lot, and not everyone, around you sometimes, but you need your alone time every day consistently, to recharge your batteries. You're comfortable in your own skin and you may want company sometimes, but you rarely if ever really NEED other people around you. What you do need, on a regular and everyday basis, is your time by yourself to recharge.

Shyness on the other hand, means wanting to be social but not having the social cues or confidence to put themselves out there and talk to people. Shy people are shadow extroverts who don't accept their innate introversion and who want to be different. This doesn't sound like you. Introverts are great at talking to large groups, but find one-on-one conversations a drain, or a bore, or an energy-sapper. But shy people are those who often really want or need others around. Introverts, on the other hand, are those who are happy doing their own thing for hours.

It is OKAY to be an introvert and/or shy. You never have to change yourself. Realize that you are how you are. That said, you can modify your behavior, but you'll never change who you really are inside, and you don't have to. It's okay to find some people hard to talk to. I'd bet that those you find hard to talk to are strong extroverts, the kind of people who always have other people around them, are always talking (and who probably don't ever shut up so you can get a word in edgewise) and who are always quick with a response. Introverts aren't like that. We like to take time to savor what people say to us, and then take time to form a response that's just right -- not glib or shallow. Talking to extroverts can be difficult at times.

Stick with choir; I think that's a good idea. Your contribution makes a difference, and you can contribute and blend in and become a part of something bigger than yourself. If you are brave and have talent, you may want to try a solo. I imagine that in front of a large group that wouldn't be difficult.

Especially read the Atlantic Article by Jonathan Rauch ("Caring For Your Introvert" -- you can do a search for it online; it's very popular). I feel confident that you will recognize yourself, and the article will make you smile with the witty way it's written.

Accept yourself as you are. Don't change a thing. Realizing who you are and what you are will make it a lot easier to deal with others in the real world. Don't ever buy into any crap that casts introverts in a negative light, and there's a lot of it out there. You are you, and this is how you are. Keep your voice; keep your ways. Take a few risks, and realize that not everyone clicks. Keep at it, and you will find people you click with, and I'll bet they'll be just as quiet, calm, peaceful and thoughtful as you are. And these are very, very good qualities and characteristics!

Cheers, K -- teacher for 14 years, confirmed introvert :)

Answer 6

a pair issues... first, imagine about the position you're assembly those women people. Is it an section that's on your words? Are you tender in that spot? that's a huge aspect for people- they ought to sense like that's on their turf... 2d, you do not might want to be the most witty, smart, strong searching man or woman contained in the international to get a woman's interest and shop it. you need to be mildly exciting and wildly fascinated. Ask questions that you've strong solutions to - in a large number of situations of the "first meet" the different man or woman will ask, "What about you?" in holding with the question you requested him/her. Having some strong solutions on your pocket is a robust aspect. finally, %. up on issues. If the female orders a vodka tonic at a bar, purchase the subsequent drink and order her yet another vodka tonic. If she sounds like she went out to electrify the international, she probable likes dressing up- the persist with-up date might want to enable her to dress up like that back. If she sounds like she basically should be tender in jeans and a sweatshirt, the subsequent date must be casual. basically pay interest... enable her do lots of the speaking... and tell her that you've an activity. the region will be that you aren't to any extent further giving reliable sufficient signs and indications of activity and by no skill some thing else.

Answer 7

just talk louder and act like you have more confidance then eventually you will get over you shyness. I am shy to and this year (9th) has been really good for me because I am able to talk to a lot more people. there are still people that i don't like to talk to just because i don't really like them but for me shyness is just something that you grow out of. if you have a good group of close friends that will help you a lot to. try taking a class that has a lot of talking in front of a group because then you will get used to talking loudly. what i do i like talk to people around me and just like kinda build a friendship with them and that helps me...your shyness will always be with you but it is just a matter of acting like it isn't there that will help you, when you talk in a group don't think about what they will think of your opinion just be somewhat vocal and things will get better!!

oh yeah, one other things is this: people always need to have someone listen to them, girls really like it if you listen to them so you are half way there! just voice you opinion a little more!

hope this helps!!

Answer 8

be yourself and just try and talk to anyone you can about anything most people respond well to it..i was really shy when i was little and now i am so outgoing i talk to anyone lol..just try and open up and anywhere u go try and talk to someone you dont know thats what i did and it worked great good luck!

Answer 9

Toastmasters International is a group that practices public speaking. They have a youth leadership program which would help you.

Answer 10

take a phone to your room strip and call several of your friends don't tell them but stay on the phone as long as you can worked for me when i was your age was able to talk in public after that think to yourself that you can talk to the naked then you should have no problems at all while you are fully dressed