My 15 year old has a friend from church(different one same denomination)who is 21 year old male.I am male myself and can find no logic in a 21 year olds interest in a 15 year old ,church or not.He sends gifts and flowers and I have caught her talking on the phone with him regularly.He comes across as intentions being very noble. Everyone seems to buy it but me.Am I all wrong?Am I being over protective and old fashion as I have been acussed of?
2006-11-04 07:16:24 · 22 answers · asked by racer x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No. You are doing the right thing. 21 is an adult. 15 is still a child and she is still in your care. Did you know that most babies born to teen moms were fathered by adult men. You are not being over protective. You are doing your job as a father, protecting your child.
You and this young man need to have a face to face. Explain to him that you don't approve of an adult pursuing your minor daughter. It's unethical and if it gets physical, illegal in many states. And you will press charges. If his intentions are so noble he can chill for 3 years until your daughter is 18. Let him know that if he doesn't back off you will contact his pastor and the local police.
You also need to sit down with your daughter and explain your position and let her know that she is to return all gifts and not to accept any new ones. 15 year-olds think they are grown but she is not ready for an adult relationship. He is obviously too immature to deal with women his own age and is looking for a young girl he can control. Discuss with her what the consequences will be if this continues and let her know that at 18 she is free to do what she wants but until then, the rules are the rules.
2006-11-04 07:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by aibnyc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he want to go to jail for statutory rape? At his age, and because of her age, this would be a felony and not a misdemeanor. A minor can date an adult in certain circumstances (like she's 17 and he is 19), but he isWAY too old for her. Also, he's a 21year old hot blooded male. He WILL want sex at some point and should date women his own age. what 21 year old wants a rape case on his hands -real or invented- if something goes sour. All he'd have to do is break up with her and she can call the cops because she's bitter and desperate. I also don't know what a GROWN MAN would want to do with a TEENAGED GIRL! Do guys that age really want to talk about 10th grade math problems and Justin Bieber?he'd be a taxi driver and a father figure, not a partner. At her age, she has NOTHING to offer other than a warm body and he can't even legally touch that.
2016-05-21 23:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely no problem with you being protective. Don't let anyone ever tell you that. Keep in mind that she is still under your roof. Don't be mean to the guy, but, she is underage. I'm 15 and I have a guy about that age that I'm pretty sure likes me, but the thing is, I'm too young for him! Maybe 20 and 26 but not 15 and 21! Also, many young men come across with "good intentions" when really all they want is sex. Be protective and maybe have a talk with this young man. Get to know him better, maybe go golfing with him! lol Make sure you're not just giving your daughter to a wolf in sheeps clothing. Good job so far dad! :)
2006-11-04 07:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being old fashioned or over protective. The differences between a 15 year old and a 21 year old are great. If the man is truly interested and has the right intentions, he should wait until she is of age. There are laws preventing such a union and rightly so. You should talk to this man and set him straight and possibly, talk to his parents. You need to make someone else that he is connected to aware of the situation so you can get it under control.
2006-11-04 07:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by Lucid 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think your right! She is 15 still in school can't drive a car has a curfew. While he is 21 an adult and can do what he wants. He really should have no interest in her at all. I could see if they were just friends but for him to look at her as a girlfriend is disturbing. I don't think your wrong at all!! Aside the fact that there is a legal age limit for a reason.
2006-11-04 07:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree! I don't have a daughter that age but I am 29.. when I was in high school I hung out with alot of older boys and I cant tell you one thing now.. no matter how nice they are.. they only want one thing from your daughter. 21 year olds should be into hanging out with college girls and hitting up the bar/club scene.. not chasing around 15 year olds who they can manipulate.
2006-11-04 07:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong, because you are just protecting your most precious "possession" ( I couldn't think of a better word). But you are not right neither. If your daughter likes him, she will be still seeing him, it will just be behind your back. So what do you prefer? You want her to betray you and sneak behind your back? Or you want an honest relationship with your daughter? Ask her if she likes him, talk to her about him. And just be aware. If you think there is something fishy going on, ask her about it. Tell her how you feel! Try to remember how you were when you were her age. When your parents forbid you something didn't you have the urge to do it anyway, or just because they said no. I always say forbidden fruit are the best fruit! Try to talk to her and make her understand where your coming from. Tell her your worries. I am pretty sure it will work out.
2006-11-04 07:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by stinkpups2001 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. You're not wrong. You're just worried for your daughter 'cause you love her very much & you want to protect her with all your heart. There's nothing wrong chasing a 21 year boy from a 15 year-old. You're not being old-fashioned. It's just like what I said above. You love your daughter a lot & you don't want her to get hurt.
2006-11-04 07:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by .x.suchandra.x.[emoxcore] 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I, too, would be worried if my daughter were going out with a 21 year old. As far as I am concerned, you are doing the right thing. Fifteen year olds think they are so grown up, but you and I know they're not. besides, take a look around today. i hope you can get through to her.
2006-11-04 07:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by rubyred 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts. A 21 year old is way too mature to be interested in a female your daughters age, church goer or not. Be polite with him if he feels he derserves this respect but let him know that you are uncomfortable with him having contact with your daughter as she is so vulnerable at her age. Good luck.
2006-11-04 07:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋