So confuse don't know what I should do.?

Question

My husband has found out that I have been having an emotional affair with someone. We have been having problems for awhile now but he never seemed to get it. He doesn't seem to see what is wrong. I have tried to explain to him but he doesn't get it. Now he is going to base the problems on my affair which is a bunch of bull.
I use to talk to the guy about my problems and he use to try and help me out. My husband says I can't have any contact with this guy anymore. I told my husband I honestly think we need a break from each other to sort out what it is we both want. Now that I have said that he is giving me the cold shoulder (which he promised he wouldn't do) Now he is making me feel guilty. I am not going to go back to him just because of that cause I know we will eventually end up right back where we are today. I still love my husband but I am not sure if I want to be with him anymore, but I would like to figure that out. He ? me everyday & that is not going to help.

Answer 1

Well first yes he is going to base your affair on every problem until you get passed this. First did you say sorry and try everything to work this out. fighting is not going to get you any where. Did you think about this affair. That is everyone problem. They have problems in their relationship and then they go and add an affair to the problem. What the problem is now is we ever you are trying to work anything out with your husband that other person is going to come to your head. So now you will be comparing your husband with that other person. Well news flash your husband is not that other guy. They are two different people, but you need to remember who you married. Who you gave your heart and sole to! That is the most reason why another person is very bad. What you need to do is talk to him sitting down, no tv, no nothing. Just you and him. You need to confess everything tell him you want to not ever do this again. Then he should have to say what he needs to change to be a better husband. Just sit and talk and work your problems out and no fighting.
Every relationship has up and downs. That will never go away. I hope the both of you can work things out. good luck!

Answer 2

I do believe both of you should consider couples counselling
it may do the trick. Another avenue that may work is calling a prayer line my wife does this and it seems to help her and she prays for me and my health and work as well I do not mind her doing this because there is alot of stuff she still has to deal with that happened with some courses she was taking that personally I'm fed up about hearing it and she knows this. I do think you must dissolve contact with this guy ASAP because it is causing you and your husband grief. I hope this somewhat helps counselling also will allow you to vent your feelings in a neutral setting and your husband may see a different side to what is going on and how he has been distant with you.

Answer 3

If your having problems with your husband, why are you asking another guy to help out. Talk between the two of you and you two only. The only way to resolve the issue is to find a cure for the problem and another guy is not the answer

Answer 4

If it were me, I would take a break , get away for a few days, ALONE, and chart my course for the rest of my life..... should it be with your husband, or with whomever, and decide exactly what's best for YOU. I have reached that point many times in my own life, and nobody can tell you what you need to do, except you yourself....Good Luck!

Answer 5

That' s a terrible way for him to respond to an "emotional affair", it's not like you were giving away his goodies. He sounds to me like a jerk who needs to be taught a lesson. He obviously doesn't know how to treat women. I hate men like that, ignorant bastards!!! I don't know, it's your call. But I have been through that type of sh!t before and I promise you I will never ever let it happen again. If he doesn't shape up pretty soon, I'd put his @$$ in the wind.


If men [husbands] knew how to satisfy us emotionally, we'd never stray and we'd put out [for them] more! When will they ever learn!?!

Answer 6

Sounds like a control freak. You may want to see a marriage counselor. You don't have to bring yor spouse to marriage counselling. They help you figure out what 'you' want out of the relationship. but to me it sounds like you already know what you want.

are you afraid of him? i sort of sense an undercurrent of that. maybe you need to look at that as well in counselling. decide how to deal with it. if i am wrong i apologize. but like i said, i think you already know what you want to do and are just looking for affirmations. but the answers need to come from you.