Holy smokes are you sure you aren't my wife? Look at the question I just posted.
I am going through EXACTLY the same thing right now. I love my wife but the urge to be with other women is just so noisy I can't tune it out.
Assuming his problem is the same as mine - it is NOT likely a problem with you. The "other" woman likely is not any more attractive or anything and probably is generic in nature. I am in therapy right now although I don't know if this can be fixed.
BUT I CAN tell you this - don't shut him out!!! He needs your love and affection more than ever to get through this. Cutting him off is going to make it worse.
2006-11-04 07:02:38
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answer #1
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answered by fucose_man 5
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He has obviously got the 7 year itch and thinks he is missing something more interesting in the big world. Have a look at his laptop if you think you want to know what he has been up to, otherwise, tackle him about it. Ask him if he would rather try a separation. Tell him he isn't the only one who finds the opposite sex attractive. He is so busy thinking about himself he has forgotten you too might be having your own version of the 7 year itch. He may find he is jealous to think that you could find love elsewhere and that he isn't the centre of your universe. This will either bring him back or you will need to talk over your future together. He may already have made a fool of you and you have already lost him and he is trying to let go gently. I am assuming you are under 30 and do not have children as they are not mentioned in your question. If there are these little people in your life then you will have to think along different lines. You appear to be young enough to start again elsewhere. Do not stay in a one sided marriage unless you think you can start over. It rarely happens.
2006-11-04 07:08:10
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answer #2
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answered by Joanne E 3
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The way I see it is, if he had done anything with anyone else he would either not of told you or he would of left you instead of giving your marriage another go.
You need to talk to him about the fact you don't trust him, if you start looking at his laptop now, believe me, you won't stop until you actually find something.
He may of only been looking for someone to bounce his problems off of, he might of really only needed to talk to someone and that is all there is to it.
If he has nothing to hide and he trully wants to work through the problems you are having in you marriage he should have no problems telling you who he was talking to, showing you the conversions in his message archives etc etc.
You just need to word what you are going to say to him very carefully so that he doesn't take things the wrong way and so that he will understand how you are feeling right now.
2006-11-04 07:04:13
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answer #3
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answered by debs1701 3
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well going through someones stuff is a violation of their privacy but in this case i think its probably necessary for your peace of mind well there is always talk of the 7 year itch and all i suggest you look at his laptop to see that hes not lying cuz nobody likes to be made a fool of. and if u find anything disturbing or nothing at all i suggest u do something exciting to spice up ur marriage again cuz seven years is a long time. start by looking at what the both of u are interested in or hes in interested in or even u try having dinner together at least once a week and talking about everything have fun couple night outs go to the movies go to a play anything good luck!!
2006-11-04 06:57:54
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answer #4
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answered by mandy 3
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I'm so sorry for your situation. For your husband get to the point to confess to you he has feelings for somebody else, it's cause he's taking it serious. You could pick in his laptop but this will only hurt you even more. Sit down with him and have an adult conversation about the issue. Don't cry, don't make a scene. Just ask him what does he wants to do. I know you're suffering and it's not gonna be easy, but, if it was me, I'd rather know then being cheated behind my back. I hope you can fix all this nonsense. Good luck for you.
2006-11-04 07:02:47
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answer #5
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answered by cb56br 3
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If he told you that then I would be worried. I would take a small look. You have every right to know who he is talking to because you are his wife. If he has nothing to hide than why not look. I do beleive in makeing a marriage work no matter what, so I hope you find peace in your relationship and that everything works out! Remember he might be going through a tough time as you might be too, so work things out and make sure to tell him that trust is one of the most important thing in a relationship. Good luck and hope I helped!
2006-11-04 07:00:20
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answer #6
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answered by mamato5Boys 4
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lets look at this logically, he's already told you he's thinking about other people and is talking to other ppl on msn. personally, i'd look, but be prepared for things you mite not like. i'm with someone myself and i know he wouldnt be happy with me talking to people i've never even met online regardless of what it was about so i dont do it, why? cos i respect him enough not to put the mistrust there. have a look cos your always gonna be tempted, if you find anything bad, dont fly off the handle, give him a chance to admit it, if he doesnt i suggest you think long and hard about the trust issue you clearly have and whether you can live like that. to be fair to him, he's been honest and told you about being interested but it could be a warning sign and you need to act on that and quick. if you let it go on not doing anything you'll end up losing him anyway. good luck hun and i really hope it works out for you cos you sound at the end of your rope,
2006-11-04 07:00:04
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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OK, first off let me tell you, that no one can break up a happy home. Therefore if hes "cheating" or just thinking about it you need to get yourself back in check... No relationship is simple, and every single couple I know have encountered some sort of "bad patch" in their relationships. MY suggestion to you is sit down and have a heart to heart conversation. And never assume anything, ask questions, be demanding, get your answers and then be done, never ever bring it up again. Just remember before you point fingers and start yelling like a fool, that you havent let yourself go, you still look pretty for him, tell him sweet nothings, and that you arent to blame.... GOOD LUCK
2006-11-04 07:21:31
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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If you look at his laptop, you will see things you don't want to see. I don't know which would hurt you worse. "Hey Baby, how about hooking up sometime?" or "I am currently in a relationship in a downward spiral. My significant other doesn't understand me, she can be a real bytch, c*unt, (favorite expletives) and whatever is wrong with the relationship is all her fault! (Why should I be brave and honest on the net when I am doing the pity party sympathy angle..." Either way, it will be digging up bones and you will be hurt. This will just add more fuel to the infidelity fire. Somethings are better off not knowing...
However, if the conversations have been archived, make a copy in case you need to use it in divorce court.
2006-11-04 07:06:00
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answer #9
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answered by Mr Cellophane 6
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I can only tell you that my ex-husband told me that too. He was online trying to start relationships with all kinds of women. He was never far from his laptop or his cell phone. As he is a lawyer, I never questioned him about all the women that called or what he was doing online. He assured me he wasn't "doing anything". That was until the day he told me out of the blue that he wanted a divorce to go to and live with a woman that he met online who lived in another state. They had never met but had many long and intimate conversations over time. He had even introduced her to my children over the phone. This was years ago, but my heart was and is broken because of the trust I had in him. He made a fool of me.
2006-11-04 06:55:55
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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